I4givehim Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 I can't take the manipulation. He just texted me saying he will forgive me for not being there for him. He will take me back and we will start over. I won't even answer him. How long does this bull go on for???? When I am feeling good about my future he sends these awful text messages. I know he is playing head games. How do you cheat on someone and think they will get over the lies and betrayal you did to them. Any advice is welcome. Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby65 Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 You leave the door open by not blocking him on your phone, or changing your number. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 You leave the door open by not blocking him on your phone, or changing your number. Difficult to do with kids involved I guess. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby65 Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 I just assumed this was a very young person! OP -- if you've got kids involved, you need to seriously man up and stop this melodrama. There's no place for game playing. Who cares if he forgives you or you forgive him or whatever -- ? Tone down the drama. Your kids are paying the price for all this senseless conflict. Link to post Share on other sites
Author I4givehim Posted April 20, 2015 Author Share Posted April 20, 2015 I wish I could block him or change my number but unfortunately we have children together and I have to keep in contact with him for their sake. I don't answer his texts messages unless it is about the children. Believe me I wish I didn't have this drama in my life. Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby65 Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 The drama will remain while you're still allowing him to have power over your well-being. For your kids sake, you need to walk away and make a life without this guy having any factor in your future love life. If you didn't still want him back, none of his texts would matter. YOU give him the power by holding onto hope that things will be different someday. Walk away from that and you will find peace for yourself and your kids. Link to post Share on other sites
AaronSG Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 Back in 2008 I suffered a pretty nasty divorce, wife meet someone on-line, courted, and the rest, well we'll just say it's history! But along the way and shortly after I filed divorce papers on her, I sat her down and set some ground rules! The biggest ground rule established........"don't contact me for anything regarding yourself as a person, don't contact me in regards to myself, only contact me in regards to our child's welfare and well being"! When there's kids involved, and there's a breakup of a relationship, I learned pretty quickly in regards to my situation, that things go a little more smoothly when "ground rules" are established. When you break yourself from the bonds of codependency and set up some boundaries for yourself, such as your ex only contacting you in regards to a child or children welfare and well being, that can seriously cut down on the drama. Just quit allowing your ex to hold all the card, take some of those cards our of his hands and establish some ground rules. Once you become serious with the notion of creating some ground rules, don't present them over text or phone or e-mail, nope, meet in a public place! That's what I did, because body language, facial expressions and the serious of it all can't very well be translated over a phone. The ex needs to see "live and in color" that you mean business, they need to see you ain't playing around any more. It's really up to you as towards how much more of this drama you wish to tend with! Once you feel your ready, "throw down" with the ex, I assure you that you will see some results rather quickly! Good luck! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 I can't take the manipulation. He just texted me saying he will forgive me for not being there for him. He will take me back and we will start over. I won't even answer him. How long does this bull go on for???? When I am feeling good about my future he sends these awful text messages. I know he is playing head games. How do you cheat on someone and think they will get over the lies and betrayal you did to them. Any advice is welcome. Sorry, I am reading this right? He'll forgive you for not being there. This man is really out of touch with reality. All I can say, is he's making it so much easier to not want reconciliation. I can't believe it. I would have been tempted to say, you may forgive me, but I don't forgive myself. You need to find an unemployed wife who will always be there and give you sex upside, downside and inside out 24/7. Of course, silence is golden. Ignore, ignore and ignore. Oh, the lunacy. Stay strong. You're doing great. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
jalapeno86 Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 I'm so sorry that happened to you. I understand heartache. It's horrible. I can't believe he cheated. What an *******. Yeah, just like everyone said. Set some ground rules. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
darkmoon Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 (edited) you seem a bit lonely you need to join local groups, anything has gotta be better than this, a distraction, an experiment in finding new ppl, you only need a few and you have a new circle of friends, prolly mom groups Edited April 21, 2015 by darkmoon 1 Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 The fact that he dares to still be condescending and writing "Here, kiss my hand and I am willing to take you back" tells enough about his true character. I know messages like these get your blood boiling in no time but just don't respond to them. Talk about kids only, all his other attempts you just ignore. It's hard since the wounds are still so fresh but in time it'll get much easier. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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