JackJackxD Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 I am a dumpee of a 2.5 years relationship, and we've broken up for 5 months now. We are currently in no contact and have been doing so for nearly 3 months. Just a few weeks ago I found that she has blocked me on Facebook. In the last month, I was feeling fine, almost as if I've moved on completely already. I wasn't thinking about her all the time, and even if she did come up on my mind it didn't bring up any emotions. I still think she is a great girl, but I felt like she has nothing to do with me anymore. It is like finding money on the way home could make my day better, but not finding any money would not make my day any worse. In this case, if I could get back with her they sure, that is great. However, if I don't get her back, it won't mean that my life would be filled with sadness. That is genuinely how I felt at the time. I go into lectures and tutorials and still see her, but I just get on with my own work and focus on the things I have on my hand. Again, seeing her didn't trigger any emotions. However, a few days ago it is just as if someone turned on a switch or something. I suddenly started to miss her, and everything started reminding me of her. I could walk by someone in the street and the scent of their perfume would remind me of my Ex-GF. I started getting the intense feeling of regret, like I passed on something amazing and that I will never have another chance to get her back again. All the bad things that I thought about previously to justify that she isn't that great of a girlfriend just got thrown to the back of my head. The future started to look pretty dime again, as I feel like she will always be the No.1 girl, and that my future relationships will never be as great as this, and that I will have to settle for the second best (Hope my future SO doesn't see this xD). I really thought I've moved on. Being able to feel like you've moved on is great! I felt free, and was able to feel happy without feeling like something is missing from my life. Before, I used to hit relapse after 3-7 days. 1 month has been the longest time I felt like I've moved on, and I thought the regret/sadness would never come back again. Does this happen to you guys even though it has been a long time after break-up? What can be done about it? Link to post Share on other sites
Mi7522 Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 I am a dumpee of a 2.5 years relationship, and we've broken up for 5 months now. We are currently in no contact and have been doing so for nearly 3 months. Just a few weeks ago I found that she has blocked me on Facebook. In the last month, I was feeling fine, almost as if I've moved on completely already. I wasn't thinking about her all the time, and even if she did come up on my mind it didn't bring up any emotions. I still think she is a great girl, but I felt like she has nothing to do with me anymore. It is like finding money on the way home could make my day better, but not finding any money would not make my day any worse. In this case, if I could get back with her they sure, that is great. However, if I don't get her back, it won't mean that my life would be filled with sadness. That is genuinely how I felt at the time. I go into lectures and tutorials and still see her, but I just get on with my own work and focus on the things I have on my hand. Again, seeing her didn't trigger any emotions. However, a few days ago it is just as if someone turned on a switch or something. I suddenly started to miss her, and everything started reminding me of her. I could walk by someone in the street and the scent of their perfume would remind me of my Ex-GF. I started getting the intense feeling of regret, like I passed on something amazing and that I will never have another chance to get her back again. All the bad things that I thought about previously to justify that she isn't that great of a girlfriend just got thrown to the back of my head. The future started to look pretty dime again, as I feel like she will always be the No.1 girl, and that my future relationships will never be as great as this, and that I will have to settle for the second best (Hope my future SO doesn't see this xD). I really thought I've moved on. Being able to feel like you've moved on is great! I felt free, and was able to feel happy without feeling like something is missing from my life. Before, I used to hit relapse after 3-7 days. 1 month has been the longest time I felt like I've moved on, and I thought the regret/sadness would never come back again. Does this happen to you guys even though it has been a long time after break-up? What can be done about it? You haven't been NC for 3 months if you know that she blocked you on FB a few weeks ago. You can't put a time frame on when you are completely healed all I can tell you is that it takes however long as it takes, it is different for each individual and each relationship. Keeping focusing on you and go complete NC until you are indifferent towards her Link to post Share on other sites
Author JackJackxD Posted March 7, 2015 Author Share Posted March 7, 2015 You haven't been NC for 3 months if you know that she blocked you on FB a few weeks ago. You can't put a time frame on when you are completely healed all I can tell you is that it takes however long as it takes, it is different for each individual and each relationship. Keeping focusing on you and go complete NC until you are indifferent towards her I only found out because I was browsing through my own photos. All I saw was like 9 comments made by me alone. That is when I realised that my Ex blocked me so all her comments were gone. I then asked a mutual friend to see if they could see her profile and it turned out they could. :/ Link to post Share on other sites
Mi7522 Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 I only found out because I was browsing through my own photos. All I saw was like 9 comments made by me alone. That is when I realised that my Ex blocked me so all her comments were gone. I then asked a mutual friend to see if they could see her profile and it turned out they could. :/ Asking a friend to check her profile is breaking NC, just saying Link to post Share on other sites
erklat Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 Yeah, it will happen. I had relapses for 11 months, and many times I also thought I have moved on. Eventually it faded. A few weeks ago I was lying in bed and I tried to think intensively about the fact we will never speak with each other again. I couldn't provoke a panic attack. So yeah, it will go away. Link to post Share on other sites
Jonp219 Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 Yeah, it will happen. I had relapses for 11 months, and many times I also thought I have moved on. Eventually it faded. A few weeks ago I was lying in bed and I tried to think intensively about the fact we will never speak with each other again. I couldn't provoke a panic attack. So yeah, it will go away. I guess people never know when it's over-OVER. For me I feel like it's not, but something else is telling me it is... Ugh horrible feeling... Link to post Share on other sites
quattrob Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 I guess people never know when it's over-OVER. For me I feel like it's not, but something else is telling me it is... Ugh horrible feeling... Jon hate to say this again but you're really not doing yourself good if you keep staying where you're at. You'll just be stuck in this loop and your ex will move on with her life while you keep waiting exactly where she left you. If she sees you this way, she won't ever consider taking you back because this is not the person she wants. Link to post Share on other sites
erklat Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 Here is my thread when I hit my worst and last relapse. I was okay for three months then. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/489481-time-seek-professional-assistance Link to post Share on other sites
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