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10 days NC. Having very rough mornings. I could use some support


The_Baumer

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So I've been lurking LS for a week now since I've been dumped for someone else. Well prior to being dumped, I notice her being distant, less affectionate and her messages have declined. She used to messaged me every day. I should've seen the red-flags. We've been together for 6 months. She messaged me that we can't see each other anymore. She met someone else and she's crazy about him, GIGS perhaps. I went into NC after that. My mindset when I went NC was I knew it's over and I'm moving on. 2 days later, it's when I started struggling.

 

From then on, I wake up every morning with a heavy-feeling, physically drained and really depressed. I miss her. I know she's gone. We are no longer together. My mind goes thru various things: reliving the good times, hearing/reading her affectionate words, her beautiful face, what I did wrong, it could've been different if only..., will she comeback, scenarios of us reconciling. My emotions every morning overwhelms me. The loneliness, feeling of emptiness and loss debilitates me. Getting out of bed is tough. Taking care of myself is also tough. I'm not eating much which makes me feel more drained. I know I've said to myself I'm moving on, but I still think about her a lot. There's still part of me that is very much hoping she'll come back and realize her mistake. I'm trying to get over her by thinking of other women during my private time, but there's still thoughts of her that pop in my mind. I have no problem maintaining NC for me to heal, move on and forget about her. But it's killing me every morning that she's no longer with me and I have to breakdown and pull myself together just to get out of bed.

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So I've been lurking LS for a week now since I've been dumped for someone else. Well prior to being dumped, I notice her being distant, less affectionate and her messages have declined. She used to messaged me every day. I should've seen the red-flags. We've been together for 6 months. She messaged me that we can't see each other anymore. She met someone else and she's crazy about him, GIGS perhaps. I went into NC after that. My mindset when I went NC was I knew it's over and I'm moving on. 2 days later, it's when I started struggling.

 

From then on, I wake up every morning with a heavy-feeling, physically drained and really depressed. I miss her. I know she's gone. We are no longer together. My mind goes thru various things: reliving the good times, hearing/reading her affectionate words, her beautiful face, what I did wrong, it could've been different if only..., will she comeback, scenarios of us reconciling. My emotions every morning overwhelms me. The loneliness, feeling of emptiness and loss debilitates me. Getting out of bed is tough. Taking care of myself is also tough. I'm not eating much which makes me feel more drained. I know I've said to myself I'm moving on, but I still think about her a lot. There's still part of me that is very much hoping she'll come back and realize her mistake. I'm trying to get over her by thinking of other women during my private time, but there's still thoughts of her that pop in my mind. I have no problem maintaining NC for me to heal, move on and forget about her. But it's killing me every morning that she's no longer with me and I have to breakdown and pull myself together just to get out of bed.

 

I have been through that...

Its painful at first...

But do believe NC works...

How you do NC is up to you...

 

I broke NC a couple of times...

Made a fool of myself...

Never helped one bit...

and ended up feeling worst...

 

Remove or keep anything...

That would remind you of her...

Keep friends close...

Have a little bit of fun...

 

Exercise this helped me get my appetite back...

Sleep was difficult for a whole 6weeks...

I was able to sleep well...

After I focused on my work...

 

I mainly focused on my goals...

Myself and my job...

I did not forget her...

I just remembered who I was...

 

And started living and feeling alive again...

 

We all go through it...

It gets better as time goes on...

Edited by bigtrouble
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Another rough morning. First thing on my mind was her again. I can't seem to let go even though I know very well it's what's needed to be done. Feeling really hurt again. I just don't know when the hurting will stop.

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Thinking of her is normal for the first bit, and all the dreams\fantasies of reconciling, and the what if's etc is fine for processing for YOU to move on.

 

The fun part is when you get angry, because for some reason it is a motivator, and stokes the fire inside to bring out the real you!

 

It wouldn't hurt to get some therapy as you are exhibiting signs of depression. I know cause I had those physical symptoms plus began to plan ending my life, not wishing, but calculating and getting what I needed to do it and wrap up some loose ends prior to doing it.

That's when I threw in the towel and got to see a therapist the following day.

My lament is here, and it was the same as you described less texts etc..

 

Keep posting, writing, and just for the hell of it sign up on some dating sites just to do some browsing.. I am at a stage I can do that now, but I'm not in the mood to date or see anyone..

 

Look at who you were before you met your ex, and restore yourself to your former glory. It is possible and realistic, most importantly you will heal and get better in this process.

Some days will be better than others, but keep in mind one thing when it comes to your ex.. GOOD RIDDANCE!

 

Women are manipulative, and will scheme, and attempt to break you down, and then its a game of cat and mouse, and you are the mouse. We all know how that ends..

I picked up my last distorted piece of integrity and dignity that I had left and took my power back..

Get rid of all her stuff, listen to music that picks you up, do some self-care by shopping for something for yourself i.e. a new jacket, pants, shirt, haircut, whatever..

 

Also muster up the strength to get a game plan and set some goals for yourself. Even if you just open a notebook and write down "The Return" and that's it, well that's a start, more will come and just jot them down.

 

I know it's hard, I know that sometimes you want to sleep it away, and hope that she will send a text with the hopes of reconciling, but as Admiral Ackbar so eloquently stated "Its a trap!", one I fell for a few times, but hey lesson learned.

 

Keep strong through the struggle.

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