How can I move on if I see him everyday?

[Purplestar0497]

So this is my first post on loveshack. Ever since the break up, I was looking for advices, articles, forums online, and videos on youtube which I honestly believe have helped me recover, and I can say that there's an improvement since that "dramatic day". I've been reading every thread that I could relate to here and even some successful stories of people who thought moving on was impossible, yet they were able to face their heartaches and start a new life all over again. I wasn't really planning to post here, but maybe it's time to post here and seek help and advice from strangers who maybe experiencing the same because I really don't know what to do with my life right now. Things just happened so fast. And I hope you guys would take time to read my story, and I'd really appreciate if you could maybe leave some comments below.

 

So my ex-boyfriend and I were together for more than a year. We are both sophomores in college now and we met during our freshmen year. We are classmates and we're in the same home section for the next four years. He's my first boyfriend and I really love him so much. Before we had a thing, I told myself and even my friends that I don't want to have a boyfriend until I graduate college most especially dating a blockmate because when you two break up it would be very hard and awkward to stay friends and to move on, but most especially it will affect your studies and future. Yet, I swallowed and forgot everything I promised to myself when we started hanging out and dating. He's the popular one, I was nobody. He is rich, famous, and handsome. We were total opposites. I'm not very talkative. I think I wouldn't ever get to hang out with his friends if not for him. I was really surprised when he showed his interest in me. He's the president of our section. He's a very busy person. So I can't really avoid interacting with him now.

 

So when we were together everything was going well. We loved each other so much, and everyone saw that. We met each other's families. Everyone in our block knew and supported us. We both dorm, so eventually we started living together. We were together day and night which made the relationship too serious and deep. It became unhealthy because of that. Our parents knew we were doing that for a long time, they were okay with it but of course they don't encourage. But we were in love. We acted as if we're married already and we went to class together and go back home together.

 

He became my world. The guy who was very outgoing and loved by a lot of people was mine. We had a lot of good memories together (obviously). But just like every couple, we argue too.

 

The week he broke it off with me was during the 1 week we had no class. Before we went back to our families from our dorm (his place) we were okay that week. His parents even invited me to dinner at their place and then his driver brought me home. And then unexpected things happened. There were lots of dramas before he broke up with me. And when he did, I was really hurt and shock bec. I never thought this to happen. He proposed to me many times (not really formally), gave me a promise ring, said he'd marry me, calls me his wife, plan our future kids and life together. We even got our own cat for our anniversary. But yeah... People change. All of a sudden he had a realization that he doesn't want me to be part of his life anymore. I mean yes we're not perfect and we have arguments, but he just showed me he loved me forever more than I loved him and he's not the same person anymore. Maybe it was also the advice from his parents. I know we're young, we'll meet new people, just enjoy life and don't take it seriously. But you can't blame me for hurting this bad because he said so many promises and showed me his love was never ending, so why didn't he fight for us?

 

After that week when we got back to school it was very hard for us to not talk and stay civil. It's three weeks away from Christmas break and those three weeks were hell for me. Final exams was on the last week which made it worse. He stopped dorming, so I went back to my own dorm. I cried every single day and night. He was always in my dreams. And it's sad cause I had to see him again the next morning and everything's not the same anymore. We talked and had a closure. His reason was he needs space and time for himself and he needed to be the person he can be. He doesn't want to be in a relationship with me. I respected that. But it's just hard for me to accept that a person who loved you the most could just change his outlook in life that fast and throw you away. Yes, I have flaws and so does he, but sadly it seems like there's no chance of getting back. And I tried doing the no contact rule, but it's hard and very tempting in my situation because I see him every day which forces me to still have contact with him. I mean we don't talk, but just seeing him brings back the hurt and pain. Imagine, we used to talk and do all things together whether in school or at home. He's my bestfriend. I mean what we had was serious. If it wasn't serious, why would his dad (captain of the ship) invite me next summer vacation to travel around Europe with their family for free. We even started preparing the papers. We lived together and lost our virginity to each other. I hope it's that easy for me to just accept and forget and move on. But you can't just control your feelings and change it to "you don't love him" and act like a robot when he's around. So yeah... I was stupid those three weeks. I tried fixing things and ask him for another chance many times, yet he said his word was final.

 

Those three weeks before christmas vacation, he was very cold. He avoided me. Final exams was the worst week. I wasn't able to study well, but good news I passed my subjects. Yey! So anyways. It's our christmas vacation now. I must say that this is the saddest and most stressful (thinking about him) break of my life. I couldn't even enjoy it. I am afraid that being with him won't make me let go and move on esp. that everything around us reminds of a lot of memories of us.

 

I'm afraid for next sem. I need to start from square one again. I know because right now I still haven't moved on. But I don't have an option anymore. I don't know what to expect when school starts again, and I admit I really love him so much and I said I'm willing to wait. Just giving him the space and time, but I know there's no guarantee. It's too painful for me to see that he's moved on and I haven't. I'm also afraid that he might date someone else and it'll hurt me again. I'm so scared. I don't know anyone. I always cry at night why things had to go this way. I have a very low self esteem. I feel so alone. I'm so stupid for even thinking sometimes that I'll just stop my studies for awhile just to get rid of the pain, but I can't. My mom has dreams for me and she works hard for me just to send me to a prestigious university and we're not rich, so I need to be considerate of her sacrifices and be mature to conquer my fears. And any advice guys? Thanks!

 

P.S. Also I don't get why he hasn't deleted all our pics and videos on facebook, but I know it's not important anymore.

[tobrieornottobrie]

It sounds like you have a lot going on between school and dealing with your personal situation. I'm sorry that you're hurting and I'm sure this hasn't been easy for you. Have you considered talking to a therapist or counselor? That may help. Also, focus in on the things that you really enjoy doing, what were your hobbies before you dated this guy? I hope that it gets better for you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

the brie's cheese knees