Moving on with therapy - emdr

[richburn]

I have been seeing a counselor for my ex and obsessive thoughts. She has used a number of techniques such as visualisation and EMDR. A lot of my obsessing about my ex is due to a problematic childhood - so this may not be applicable to everybody.

 

The sessions have been very very draining and often left me feeling flat for a few days. Its been 3 weeks now and I can honestly say its made a huge difference. I now see my ex as part of my past like a distant memory. I still sometimes think about her with regret and I miss her but its very manageable. My moods no longer swing half as much as they do. Previously i was suicidal and I didnt have any hope.

 

Dont get me wrong I am not cured but I am definitely on the path, I have only had 4 sessions and 1 of those was prep work. I hope this helps some of you - I know the pain and I wouldnt wish it on my worst enemy. Maybe, some of you should look to heal your past and your current and future situations will improve.

 

Much Love.

Richard.

[drpattijane]

EMDR therapy is not a technique, it's a form of psychotherapy. I'm a therapist who uses EMDR therapy as my primary psychotherapy treatment and I've also personally had EMDR therapy for anxiety, panic, grief, and “small t” trauma. As a client in my opinion, EMDR therapy worked extremely well and also really fast. As an EMDR therapist, and in my role as a facilitator who trains other therapists in EMDR therapy (certified by the EMDR International Association and trained by the EMDR Institute, both of which I strongly recommend in an EMDR therapist) I have used EMDR successfully with panic disorders, PTSD, anxiety, depression, grief, body image, phobias, distressing memories, bad dreams, Dissociative Disorders, and many other problems. It's a very gentle method with no significant "down-side" so that in the hands of a professional EMDR therapist, there should be no freak-outs or worsening of day-to-day functioning.

 

Richburn, you said "the sessions have been very very draining" but I don't know whether that's from EMDR therapy or a technique used by your therapist. If it's from EMDR therapy, I suggest you go back to one of the initial phases (Phase 2) in EMDR psychotherapy which involves preparing for memory processing or desensitization (memory processing or desensitization - phases 3-6 - is often what is referred to as "EMDR" which is actually an 8-phase method of psychotherapy). In this phase resources are "front-loaded" so that you have a "floor" or "container" to help with processing the really hard stuff, as well as creating strategies if you're triggered in everyday life. In Phase 2 you learn a lot of great coping strategies and self-soothing techniques which you can use during EMDR therapy processing or anytime you feel the need.

 

In phase 2 you learn how to access a “Safe or Calm Place” which you can use at ANY TIME during EMDR therapy processing (or on your own) if it feels scary, or too emotional, too intense. One of the key assets of EMDR therapy is that YOU, the client, are in control NOW, even though you weren’t in the past, during traumatic events. You NEVER need re-live an experience or go into great detail, ever! You NEVER need to go through the entire memory. YOU can decide to keep the lights (or the alternating sounds and/or tactile pulsars, or the waving hand, or any method of bilateral stimulation that feels okay to you and your parts) going, or stop them, whichever helps titrate – measure and adjust the balance or “dose“ of the processing. During EMDR therapy processing there are regular “breaks” and you can control when and how many but the therapist should be stopping the bilateral stimulation every 25-50 passes of the lights to ask you to take a deep breath and say just a bit of what you’re noticing, anything different, any changes. (The stimulation should not be kept on continuously, because there are specific procedures that need to be followed to process the memory). The breaks help keep a “foot in the present” while you’re processing the past. Again, and I can’t say this enough, YOU ARE IN CHARGE so YOU can make the process tolerable. And your therapist should be experienced in the EMDR therapy interventions that help make it the gentlest and safest way to detoxify bad life experiences and build resources. Your therapist should also be using a variety of grounding methods to make painful processing less painful, like suggesting you turn the scene in your mind to black and white, lower the volume, or, erect a bullet-proof glass wall between you and the painful scene, or, imagine the abuser speaking in a Donald Duck voice... and so forth. There are a lot of these kinds of EMDR therapy interventions that ease the processing. They are called "cognitive interweaves" that your therapist can use, and that also can help bring your adult self's perspective into the work (or even an imaginary Adult Perspective). Such interweaves are based around issues of Safety, Responsibility, and Choice. So therapist questions like "are you safe now?" or "who was responsible? and "do you have more choices now?" are all very helpful in moving the processing along.

 

Grounding exercises are essential. You can use some of the techniques in Dr. Shapiro's new book "Getting Past Your Past: Take Control of Your Life with Self-Help Techniques from EMDR." Dr. Shapiro is the founder/creator of EMDR but all the proceeds from the book go to two charities: the EMDR Humanitarian Assistance Program and the EMDR Research Foundation). The book is an easy read, helps you understand what's "pushing" your feelings and behavior, helps you connect the dots from past experiences to current life. Also gives lots of really helpful ways that are used during EMDR therapy to calm disturbing thoughts and feelings.

 

BTW, the World Health Organization has published Guidelines for the management of conditions that are specifically related to stress. Trauma-focused CBT and EMDR therapy are the only psychotherapies recommended for children, adolescents and adults with PTSD. “Like CBT with a trauma focus, EMDR therapy aims to reduce subjective distress and strengthen adaptive cognitions related to the traumatic event. Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR): This therapy is based on the idea that negative thoughts, feelings and behaviours are the result of unprocessed memories. The treatment involves standardized procedures that include focusing simultaneously on (a) spontaneous associations of traumatic images, thoughts, emotions and bodily sensations and (b) bilateral stimulation that is most commonly in the form of repeated eye movements. Like CBT with a trauma focus, EMDR aims to reduce subjective distress and strengthen adaptive beliefs related to the traumatic event. Unlike CBT with a trauma focus, EMDR does not involve (a) detailed descriptions of the event, (b) direct challenging of beliefs, © extended exposure, or (d) homework.” (p.1) (Geneva, WHO, 2013)

[JDPT]

Some EMDR session are very draining for me as they resurface childhood trauma. However, after a few session I can honestly say that I have made great improvement. It's something along the lines of what you mentioned, with regards to your ex. I'm able to inadvertently retrieve thoughts from my ex but they are much more manageable now, they no longer ruin my days. I think I'm stating to come to terms with many facts and EMDR has somehow helped me do that. I'm more of a "let's talk about it" type of guy as opposed to EMDR which is more of a "auto pilot" type of approach in which you have no control and simply allow thoughts to come and go as if you are inside a train and watching the scenery from the inside.

[richburn]

Thanks for the clarification drpattijane, I obviously defer to your greater knowledge and experience. EMDR was only used to support some of the other techniques used by my T, she used a lot of time line therapy and visualisation. A technique known as PICT in the UK, I dont think its available (yet) outside of the UK.

[Mandy26]

good to hear your experiences with EMDR, I am to be starting EMDR next week for myself and PTSD - helps to hear others who have experienced it and the in depth information.

[richburn]

good to hear your experiences with EMDR, I am to be starting EMDR next week for myself and PTSD - helps to hear others who have experienced it and the in depth information.

 

Good luck Mandy, feel free to message me if you have any questions, I am no expert but happy to talk.