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Ex text-1.5 years after the break up


Real36

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Serial cheating Ex. He moved out of state in January. Every few months he will text me for small talk, probably just to see if I will respond. Last month he did this and I responded, we exchanged a few texts but he never returned my last message. Then I received a "I didn't forget about you I just got busy text" at midnight. No more of this asinine game. I deleted his number. He text again today asking for a favor and an arbitrary "how are you and your family?" Screw him. No more responses.

 

But....a small part of me wants to go off on him. Just tear him to pieces. I've never done that, I've always been civil and aloof. I've never given him the satisfaction of seeing the emotions that he causes me after we broke up. But I'm just as mad at myself for still letting him cause me to have any emotions after all of the **** he put me through. He should be dead to me. I tell everyone that I'm glad he is gone and how lucky I was to come to my senses and get out... but the absolute truth is that no matter what he did behind my back, how many lies he told and how much he disrespected me, I still f**king loved him and kinda still do. I had too much self respect and pride to stay with him after I finally opened my eyes but it doesn't change the way I feel.

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Showing any type of emotion towards him will only validate what he is looking for. It'll make him feel good if you go off at him and show him that you still have some residual feelings weather they be hate. I understand easier said than done not to reply but you must be strong and forget that text ever came in.

The feelings may be there and clearly those are hard to mask as we feel deep so engraved in our beings but find the courage and strength to continue to propel yourself forward and do not allow him to get the best of you. Continue to heal your wounds, it's a work in progress. I'm currently at 1.5 years post BU and you know what? to this day I still make mistakes but not as many as I used to in the past. I'm committed to nurture myself and internalize the fact that I must move on for good and for my sake and sanity. Be strong we are all here with you.

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