scobro Posted August 8, 2014 Share Posted August 8, 2014 I keep reading on this site "its going to take time" 'you will be in pain" "life is not normal right now for you" and endless people suffering.Why is it the other person just gets to move on have no concept of pain and jump into bed and a relationship with someone else. I was the one that ended it due to my ex and her other men issues that I won't elaborate on.I know she is with someone new and I sit here still with anxiety stomach pains and feeling lost and lonely 5 months later. Its always one person gets off easy and one wants to drink poison to ease the pain. #this sucks not fair at all!! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
pappa k Posted August 8, 2014 Share Posted August 8, 2014 I agree it's garbage. I wish I could just move on and do exactly what my ex did Link to post Share on other sites
me85 Posted August 8, 2014 Share Posted August 8, 2014 I assure you that nothing is as it seems regarding exes. Most of the time it's just a front. A quick fix to shield them from their guilt. A rebound...A way to make you think they're over you, when really, they still struggle with their own shhit. They just think they have to stick to their guns because they usually won't admit they made a mistake. So they have to live out the web of lies they've spawned. And besides, they usually plan ahead of time to BU with the person. 'They're not happy. They feel like they're settling by being with them'...so fu ck 'em. Let them go find "better." Live & let die. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Mrblonde89 Posted August 9, 2014 Share Posted August 9, 2014 What happens when that rebound turns into true love and we're the one's upset posting on this site while they are happy with someone new Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted August 9, 2014 Share Posted August 9, 2014 Depends on how selfish the other person is. Normally the other person does feel bad when reminded of good ol' memories. But if you mean all those people who were cheated on and then left etc - the dumper is a narcissist, and how truly happy can such a person ever be? Link to post Share on other sites
Sad26 Posted August 9, 2014 Share Posted August 9, 2014 I keep reading on this site "its going to take time" 'you will be in pain" "life is not normal right now for you" and endless people suffering.Why is it the other person just gets to move on have no concept of pain and jump into bed and a relationship with someone else. I was the one that ended it due to my ex and her other men issues that I won't elaborate on.I know she is with someone new and I sit here still with anxiety stomach pains and feeling lost and lonely 5 months later. Its always one person gets off easy and one wants to drink poison to ease the pain. #this sucks not fair at all!! I don't have any good answer to this, but for the past one month I keep asking the same question again and again. I have no answer and I will get none. Worse when the other one starts posting pictures and tweets, you feel like they deliberately want to multiply your hurt and suffering. There is no justice and fairness in this world. Those who are busy hurting others are the ones who don't get hurt. Link to post Share on other sites
Itspointless Posted August 9, 2014 Share Posted August 9, 2014 There is no justice and fairness in this world. Those who are busy hurting others are the ones who don't get hurt. Justice and fairness are constructs whereby we hope that people will life according such principals. Those terms usually have little to do with the area of love and feelings. In the end it is up to us to be responsible for our own actions. If we get the chance and choose for love hurt is potentially there. I always tell myself that there will be a prize for every joy (things that exceed the normal-range of feeling). Life has its way of compensating and it moves like the tide. Usually people that hurt others have their own demons (or they are psychologically handicapped due to their history or by biological reasons). It is up to us to not hurt others and hope that they will be just as compassionate with us when parting does occur. In the end it is our hurt and deprivation that really learns us to be grateful for the things we had and do have. Some people have luck, but almost all people get their share of misery in their lives. At least we learned that we are capable of loving. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author scobro Posted August 9, 2014 Author Share Posted August 9, 2014 It is up to us to not hurt others and hope that they will be just as compassionate with us when parting does occur. My ex didn't even bother to breakup just went and met someone else and didn't bother to tell me until it was so blatantly obvious then had the nerve to say "i just know in my heart I can't trust you"....lol hows that for needing justification for her actions.She actually put him on the phone once when I was devastated just to be evil.Then when that rebound relationship tanked I stupidly took her back. Now 2 years later she goes on dating sites behind my back, rents a room in her house to her ex boyfriend and doesn't let me over to her house anymore sleeps with his friend and Im sure him as well all without ending it with me and this woman is 50.She emailed me a pic of her ex naked in her bed and a pic of her and her new boyfriend all because I ended things due to her being with so many other men and using me as a doormat......some can be evil Link to post Share on other sites
FortunateSon Posted August 9, 2014 Share Posted August 9, 2014 My like BPD ex was in a relationship 4 months after our 6 year relationship was over. I have been NC since December, but as far as I know she is still with the guy. She somehow stalked and FB messaged someone I was dating in May, trying to sabotage me, but I refused to acknowledge her efforts. I feel I am over my ex but sometimes wonder how she could do such things and if she is truly happy having moved on? I am happier now and realized the relationship was unhealthy, but feel a bit lonely I haven't found anyone a year plus after that relationship ended. Link to post Share on other sites
Itspointless Posted August 9, 2014 Share Posted August 9, 2014 My ex didn't even bother to breakup just went and met someone else and didn't bother to tell me until it was so blatantly obvious then had the nerve to say "i just know in my heart I can't trust you"....lol hows that for needing justification for her actions.She actually put him on the phone once when I was devastated just to be evil.Then when that rebound relationship tanked I stupidly took her back. Now 2 years later she goes on dating sites behind my back, rents a room in her house to her ex boyfriend and doesn't let me over to her house anymore sleeps with his friend and Im sure him as well all without ending it with me and this woman is 50.She emailed me a pic of her ex naked in her bed and a pic of her and her new boyfriend all because I ended things due to her being with so many other men and using me as a doormat......some can be evil Unfortunately some people are really broken. I am really sorry for your pain scobro. It sounds like your ex has severe problems, just like mine had. she has not been mean to me, but she really did hurt me by pushing me away. She turned out to be really avoidant and went from sweet to dismissing when I tried to be there for her (we were just a few months in). We can just hope - I think - that we will not turn our frustration to people who do not deserve it. But it is a challenge to trust when hurt. I am not there yet. Good luck man Link to post Share on other sites
central Posted August 9, 2014 Share Posted August 9, 2014 Yes, breakups suck, even if you are the one initiating it for cause. It can be even worse when you're dumped and didn't expect it. Life is not fair, and to expect otherwise is probably delusional. I wish you well in coming to terms with this and moving on. Link to post Share on other sites
True Gent Posted August 9, 2014 Share Posted August 9, 2014 I assure you that nothing is as it seems regarding exes. Most of the time it's just a front. A quick fix to shield them from their guilt. A rebound...A way to make you think they're over you, when really, they still struggle with their own shhit. They just think they have to stick to their guns because they usually won't admit they made a mistake. So they have to live out the web of lies they've spawned. And besides, they usually plan ahead of time to BU with the person. 'They're not happy. They feel like they're settling by being with them'...so fu ck 'em. Let them go find "better." Live & let die. I think this is my exes situation down to a tee! I don't think the pain is all one sided. I know my ex leads a crappy life full of drama. She is living out the web of crap she spawned with a sociopath and the only thing she has in her life that I haven't at the moment is sex. Everything else in life such as career, income, stability, home, freedom, health etc... is better for me. Also I've been the dumper in the past and believe me I didn't find it easy. I took a whole year to be ready to date again after dumping my GF at the time. I was very attached to her and she was my first serious GF. She had major issues which weren't going to change so I ended it. It was not easy or nice. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
learning_slowly Posted August 11, 2014 Share Posted August 11, 2014 Some people are really messed up people, taking medication to get through life. I'm sure they are hurting or have the drugs which mask their pain, but also mask real happiness. Other people will feel pain but see that the breakup is the best thing in the long term for both parties to be truly happy. In a way, we should be happy if we are dumped by somebody like this, as it takes a lot of courage to cause yourself pain for the sake of future happiness. Also, look at what your ex did. If they suddenly appear in a new relationship, it's because they couldn't handle leaving you while they were alone. That's somebody who will always be needy, draining your strength. It's much better to meet a mutually positive partner. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
love1336x Posted August 12, 2014 Share Posted August 12, 2014 As a woman who quickly found a rebound within a week of my break up. I can truly understand why people would rebound. Its freaken nice!!!! Its nice to be adore and care for. Its nice to give attention and that person return that attention back. It is way better than being sad and low and craving an ex who wants nothing to do with you. Yea. You can do other productive things in your lives beside jumping into bed with another person, but this is a form of coping with a break up. This is my first time after being dumped finding another person quickly. I usually stay single for six months and suffered it out. Stalking, and crying for my ex, but this time around I feel amazing and such freedom. Me and this dude aren't in a relationship. He knows my situation and is happy to be there for me. ^.^ Link to post Share on other sites
me85 Posted August 12, 2014 Share Posted August 12, 2014 As a woman who quickly found a rebound within a week of my break up. I can truly understand why people would rebound. Its freaken nice!!!! Its nice to be adore and care for. Its nice to give attention and that person return that attention back. It is way better than being sad and low and craving an ex who wants nothing to do with you. Yea. You can do other productive things in your lives beside jumping into bed with another person, but this is a form of coping with a break up. This is my first time after being dumped finding another person quickly. I usually stay single for six months and suffered it out. Stalking, and crying for my ex, but this time around I feel amazing and such freedom. Me and this dude aren't in a relationship. He knows my situation and is happy to be there for me. ^.^ I've rebounded quickly plenty. I rebounded a week after my last BU and I don't feel bad about it. I ended up going on a couple of dates with the guy and liked him just fine. But no spark. Met another guy thru work (not a coworker) really liked him, thought there was a mutual spark-wrong. Dated a third guy...he was super cool but it started feeling too much like a RS soooo...lol 3 guys in 8 months...not terrible. I only slept with one. I could speed date but I like being single and I'm doing something I've never done since my first RS...taking time for me. So love1336, good for you! I hope the good feelings last. For me they did (if I really liked the guy) and then before I knew it I was in another serious RS. lol Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
guest569 Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 I think my ex suffered quite a bit after dumping me, but he probably got over it within a month or 2. Whereas it will probably take me a year or more at this rate. Link to post Share on other sites
learning_slowly Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 As a woman who quickly found a rebound within a week of my break up. I can truly understand why people would rebound. Its freaken nice!!!! Its nice to be adore and care for. Its nice to give attention and that person return that attention back. It is way better than being sad and low and craving an ex who wants nothing to do with you. Yea. You can do other productive things in your lives beside jumping into bed with another person, but this is a form of coping with a break up. This is my first time after being dumped finding another person quickly. I usually stay single for six months and suffered it out. Stalking, and crying for my ex, but this time around I feel amazing and such freedom. Me and this dude aren't in a relationship. He knows my situation and is happy to be there for me. ^.^ But are you having happiness at his expense? Is he really happy with you using him? And are you happy with being that type of person? Link to post Share on other sites
Itspointless Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 Three guys in eight months I guess this is the golden era for woman. I have also heard so many girls saying through the years that they will take time off this time, it almost became a joke. I seriously couldn't do something like that even if I wanted. It always takes time before I can open up again. The six months mentioned by love1336x, wow, that is not long. But back to topic, if you rebound with informed consent by the other than why not. I think it would be hard to not be in denial, but than again that would be me. Link to post Share on other sites
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