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In on medication as severly depressed only jus started gaining weight after ten months after breakup it's helped a bit but not much

 

No contact hasn't helped me at all :( I feel empty list broken and still attached and in love, tried meetin few people nobody and nothin will compare to what I had as it was perfect

 

Everyone else around me seems to cope and move on better than me I jus can't sort my thinkin out it's so negative I'm waitin for therapy to start but sceptical it will work, see negative again!

 

I still wish he would still miss want n regret leavin me for her even tho I think she prettier so it's doubtful I hate the idea he doesn't care anymore and moved on to potentially better relationship feel like il be stuck here forever I broke my heart again last night

 

If I could be happy alone would be something as I don't want anyone else still :( my life is not fulfilled financially a struggle don't do much not many friends just feel miserable without him n miss him so much :,(

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No contact hasn't helped me at all :( I feel empty list broken and still attached and in love, tried meetin few people nobody and nothin will compare to what I had as it was perfect

 

 

It was not. Nobody is perfect, no relationship is perfect. It wasn't even perfect for you. You can and will find somebody else who gives you an even better relationship that you remember, but you need get out of the position you are at now to do that.

 

You said that your life is not fulfilled financially, maybe that is something you could focus on. If you don't have a job you could get one, if you do you could consider getting a second one if you have enough time. Keeping yourself busy would prevent you from thinking too much about things and it would help moving on.

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In on medication as severly depressed only jus started gaining weight after ten months after breakup it's helped a bit but not much

 

No contact hasn't helped me at all :( I feel empty list broken and still attached and in love, tried meetin few people nobody and nothin will compare to what I had as it was perfect

 

Everyone else around me seems to cope and move on better than me I jus can't sort my thinkin out it's so negative I'm waitin for therapy to start but sceptical it will work, see negative again!

 

I still wish he would still miss want n regret leavin me for her even tho I think she prettier so it's doubtful I hate the idea he doesn't care anymore and moved on to potentially better relationship feel like il be stuck here forever I broke my heart again last night

 

If I could be happy alone would be something as I don't want anyone else still :( my life is not fulfilled financially a struggle don't do much not many friends just feel miserable without him n miss him so much :,(

 

I'm sorry you are feeling this way. The things that helped me were:

 

Talking to a friend or confidante (family member?). You've got to realise that this is not the be all and the end all. Confiding in a trusted person will remind you that you are a valued person.

 

You've got to get on with your life. Do not assume that things are working out for him, that is an assumption, your assumption! It's all about being happy with yourself and moving on. Get rid of any items that remind you of him. It's all about building up your self esteem and self respect at this stage and being the best you that you can possibly be!

 

Best of luck and move forward :)

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It does feel like that at the beginning . If you are financially unstable perhaps concentrate on how you could improve this.

 

When you feel down..call your friends /family , hop on LS vent away..i find exercising helps a lot . Do something that is our of your comfort zone .

 

For a while it will seem like what you had was THE perfect relationship , that no one could compare and you wont find any body better..that is until the love goggle is off. You dont know what the future holds for you ..but you have to keep punching through the brick walls everyday..something even better will come your way ..chin up :)

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You might feel like having no contact isn't working but believe me it does. I speak from experience. My ex is in a relationship with another guy, seemingly very happy, he's taking her on weekends away and she stays round there every night. The difference, we have a son and therefore have to see each other two or three times a week. We are 2 months post BU and she comes back round smiling chatting, being happy and with her fone going off every few minutes. My face is well and truly rubbed in it. We get on so well it feels like a re-breakup every time I see her. That, I assure you, is painful.

 

I feel low, depressed, have anxiety and can't control my emotions. At the moment, I wake up and struggle through my job wishing the day past so it can be over again. That is not a happy place.

 

So remember, you are much farther down the line than this and doing well, but as people say, you need to move on before you can meet anyone else and get close to them. I feel for you as I am experiencing the same pain. It helps to just dump words down and vent sometimes so keep doing that.

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Thanks for all your kind words means a lot as on feeling so alone in my thoughts and suffer in even tryin to keep mysejf busy I struggle to take control of my thoughts and emotions I take a long time

 

I suffer with depression and anxiety and work part time while starting two sessions a week one group therapy and one one to one therapy session weekly due to start in sept and waitin for short term Counsellin to start in the mean time

 

I have improved since the medication where I don't feel suicidel anymore my eating has improved iv gained weight and don't cry as much, although I'm still crying daily, every other day!

 

As I'm negative the advice I get and have had here saying you will find better I turn this around and think see he prob has better which hurts as I still struggle to let go n move on and anyone i try with seems to only want one thing and I rember my ex sayin watch how many guys try using u u will regret this and he's right! Nobody as of yet have I felt connection or attraction to or has made anywhere near as much effort or give. Me respect I had, iv improved slightly with going out and listening to music now and agsin as everythin was reminding me!

 

I have got rid of everythin and makin effort to speak to others now as I wasn't able to even talk to someone else before but I'm still comparing, and also comparing my ****ty life to others who is fulfilled and feel empty wishing I had him to share my life and time with agsin :( wondering wa thy are goin together :(

 

If helped hearing not up assume things are workin out for him though as I've heard the relationship is rocky she common disrespectful and thy up and down but tht sayin no relationship is perfect Mayes me think Atleast they got each other should I have persevered :(

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Also I do withdraw myself as embarrassed of place I'm still in and feel a liability and a bring down around people as friends have run out of things to say and can see I struggle to put on brave face my anxiety has increased this year few health scares and realisation no matter how hard I worked out I suffer with bloated stomach daily thy dunno y so exercise does not help my self esteem infact last two months iv taken off as felt like less pressure as I'm not seein around me in gym wa I could be if I didn't have the stomach issue and managed to gain half a stone in the process

 

Life feels so hard and I wish I had him here through these tuff times for company and support even tho while together u struggled to open up and let him be there for me :/

 

The medication has helped where I'm not do bad getting up and out in the mornings although I still get these days like today and lately feel like km going backwards dreamin of him more now than in the beginning and also truffling to sleep again in nights not bein able to switch off and upset

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It really is a mind over matter thing.

You have to seriously want to heal. I know it's harder said than done.

But you need to fake it until you can't.

Smile, hang out with friends, do other stuff to take your mind off of crap.

Life doesn't end because somebody doesn't love you.

 

you are who you love not who loves you!

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What is good in your life? Make a list of the things that are working -- big & small. Re-read the positives when you wake up in the morning & everyday before you go to sleep think about one thing that when right today. It doesn't have to be monumental. It can be something as mundane as the sun was out today so you didn't get wet on your way into work or even that people responded kindly to your post here on LS.

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It's all about reclaiming your self worth (how you feel about yourself) and not putting it in the hands of others. Today i realised it's all about setting your own standards, eg, what am i looking for in others, how should i behave? It's all about not being a victim, eg, viewing yourself as a 'dumpee' (and all that it entails), and seeing yourself as a person moving forward. Try to quit seeing yourself as a bit of disguarded rubbish (im only saying that cos that's how i felt), and start to see yourself as a human being that has the power and autonomy to move on.

 

Do some work on your 'self worth', google it. It's all about finding things about yourself that you see as strengths and that make you the human being that you are.

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I will google tht thankyou very much! And yes I do need to try change as iv always turned to others for happiness self worth and fulfillment

 

This results in attachments issues struggling to let go and my obsessive thinkin and negative thoughts don't help it's a mixture of issues I need to try and address :/ I'm aware of them jus do hard to change habits of a lifetime being so insecure doesn't help either even tht affects my relationships when I'm in them that's another issue lol!

 

I'm hopin this therapy is finally the therapy I been lookin for to try help me! I know I need to be happy with me and on my own to be happy in a relationship with soneone else or better prepared for rejection :/

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I will google tht thankyou very much! And yes I do need to try change as iv always turned to others for happiness self worth and fulfillment

 

It's a hard one as i believe we are conditioned to defer our self worth to others, especially as women. You're on the right track, you know what needs to change and now you've just got to take the steps. The idea is also to be in a relationship with somebody who supports your self worth and you being the best person you can be, but most i,portant thing is, work on yourself first. A loving relationship should complement you, not make up for the rest of you :).

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Really feel for you, struggling with depression and a break up can seem overwhelming. But I can honestly tell from your posts that you are a very intelligent person. Please try to take one day at a time and the best advice I've been given so far is to let yourself feel your emotions, your grief. Thoughts and hugs to you

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****BIG VIRTUAL HUGS ****

 

I'm sorry to hear you feel this way. Believe me, everyone here really feel for you as we've been there. I find what helps me is to put on some happy songs... and then i start taking a ton of selfies. Yep, self-love, nothing better. :)

 

Exercise really helped me, I run 5 km twice a week till I'm so tired that I just pass out on my bed. Better than sex, better than sleeping tablets.. and I feel great in the morning!:bunny::bunny::bunny:

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Thanks again for all the kind words and advice means a lot

 

With how I think n my depression only recently av I been able to listen to music a bit I have up keep switch on songs tht trigger memories or new ones tht set me off I feel so abnormal with my thought processes and how I don't cope and handle with my emotions and situations :/

 

Il b startin back gym soon but uv had a release not going as not comparin in the gym ad I have bloated stomach daily and really hate it :,( I'm tryin to accept it but hate my ex trains and in great shape and even though people say I look in hood shape I can't take compliment and always go on to say but u have bloated stomach tht will never be flat, and a flat bum from losing too much weight etc! I don't acknowledge any positives jus dwell on all the bad and negatives with everything

 

The worst is relatin positive advice to me ex instead of personally to me like u will find better, u lose something good to make room for better things in life etc instead of bein optimistic I feel worse thinkin I bet that's how ur turned out fir him :( as I struggle to let go

 

Everything I have heard n seen wen I did look torments me to this day like a cam Corder constantly rewinding memories n moments n depressin n upsetting me further :,( i wonder wa thy could b doin together n wish it was me iv ad wnuf of mysejf now and my friends struggling to help me anymore

 

There has been improvements tho jus sufferin with anxiety on top of the depression and dealin with break up daily is a battle constantly switching between worryin about my health with anxiety, depressed comparin mysejf and life and things iv not got it doin compared to others or crying and breakin my heart missin him truely believin il never get wa I called the full package agsin and will have to settle with soneone who doesn't tick all the boxes like he did that's a typical day of my life right there :,(

 

I still have hopeful thoughts tht one day thy will split n he will try contactin me even tho I know I couldn't take him back iv become so sceptical I feel nothing lasts these days and wen I hear if break ups n people cheatin makes me sad on one hand and happy on other thinkin I need to miraculously learn how to be happy alone as il av to go through plenty more break ups Andy trust in anyone is demolished the amount of people engaged married or in relationships poke message and snap people behind their backs but pretend everythin us rosy to their partner disgusts me!

 

Sorry for the long reply jus tried my best to get it all out and try portray best I could how I am and my situation I appreciate everyone's replies and supports

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Shields boy

Mia:

 

You sound like you have a big heart and it is a strength to be able to love someone that much. Just shows that you are a passionate person.

 

Your ex does not deserve your passionate love him. Take time to heal and do not waste your time hoping he will get in touch. I have been in similar situation and by the time she did leave him, I was to bitter and angry to want anything to do with her.

 

It took me just over 2 years to heal and find peace with myself. My biggest mistake was not letting anyone close to me after that period and allowing my ex to pester me for 2 years after she left her boyfriend.

 

I wish I did allow myself to meet someone, so that I would have been as to make my ex suffer the pain that I went through.

 

Make that your goal. Get better, meet someone else and make sure your ex regrets leaving you someday.

 

Good luck

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I am pushing myself to Atleast speak to others now and believe I could possibly date now have had 3 intimate encounters in whole time we been finished and each time was upset and disappointed as even tho I shouldn't compare it def didn't compare I suppose I should feel lucky I experienced wa I did as done people don't but that makes me miss if more :/

 

I'm makin tht mistake not datin or letting anyone close as scared if gettin hurt again and attached and disappointed each time I try anyway! But I know he us not width my suffering jus wish it was as easy to let go as it was to fall in live with him :,( I believed wa we had was special he made me believe it asuch as I get attached I can't jus move on like he did! Makes me think he is like it with everyone and will experience that agsin and again while I'm struggling and comparin myself to how pretty his new gf is despite compliments I get mysejf and people trying to make ne feel better sayin in real life she not pretty and is very chavy etc still doesn't make me feel better tbh as I think well thy got each other so it's irrelevant!

 

I do feel iv improved ever so slightly with the time n medication jus hope one day soon I can come back and post iv recovered and help others in our situation now

 

Good luck to everyone it's a horrible but unavoidable journey we have to go through but what I do know is however long it takes each of us as individuals, time is definately a healer! Jus wish my time was as quick as some others lol

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