Still Sad Posted September 3, 2004 Share Posted September 3, 2004 I would love some of your opinions on this. Me and my ex dated for 14 months. It was a wonderful relationship. The chemistry was right on and we had only 3 arguments during the whole 14 months. Back in early June, she broke up with me over the phone. My job is causing me to relocate to another state and she does not want to move. She has a 8 yr old son and does not want to take him far from his father. Also her elderly mother lives here. I told her about the transfer being possible back in Oct. 2003. At that time she said she would go wherever I go. After she broke up with me 3 months ago, I tried contacting her 2 times by phone. This was after 1 month of no contact. I left a message each time and she never responded. I have not tried to contact her since. I did however send her son a b-day card this past week. Anyway, My b-day was yesterday and there was no card, no e-mail, nothing to acknowledge my B-Day. My Question is, after such a wonderful relationship between the 2 of us, why do you think she would be so cold like this? I have not heard from her in anyway since she broke up with me 3 months ago. I am still in the same town as she for my job has not moved as of yet. Any comments are welcome. Thanks. PS: About a month ago, she did ask a friend of mine when I was moving. He told her he did not know yet, why not call me. She said it was probably best to leave it alone. Link to post Share on other sites
jigglypuff Posted September 3, 2004 Share Posted September 3, 2004 i am sorry you are going through this. it sounds like she may be afriad that things will turn bad. my relationship with ex as as good as you described yours and just like you she broke up with me over the phone after 1.5 happy years. after we broke up i asked her how she would grade our relationship and she said she would give it an "A-" in terms of goodness and happyness. thats 85-90% my counselor has been trying to explain the logic of why people end good things and why they do it in a bad way. and it your case the answer is much clearer than it was for me. in both cases i would say the motivation is her fear. plain and simple. yes she said she would move wiht you, my ex too said lots of things i later realized she didnt mean. there is nothing you can do about it. even though for you 1 month is enough time, it looks like for her its not. i would say not to contact her anymore (and it sounds like you dont plan too). her motivation is her fear that something will go wrong. and like the self fulling profiecy that has lead to ending something good, in a not good way, and leading to things going wrong. it just sucks. love you self and harm none and you will be ok Link to post Share on other sites
kellydontwanttasleep Posted September 3, 2004 Share Posted September 3, 2004 let it go at this point it doesn't matter Link to post Share on other sites
Still Sad Posted September 3, 2004 Share Posted September 3, 2004 I can understand her fear. I know how some people refuse to face their fears. What I don't understand is why she has made no contact what so ever. Want even acknowledge my b-day. Just seems so cold after such a wonderful relationship. Her b-day is next month. Should I send her a card? Link to post Share on other sites
jigglypuff Posted September 4, 2004 Share Posted September 4, 2004 Originally posted by Still Sad I can understand her fear. I know how some people refuse to face their fears. What I don't understand is why she has made no contact what so ever. Want even acknowledge my b-day. Just seems so cold after such a wonderful relationship. Her b-day is next month. Should I send her a card? i would strongly advise against sending her a card. she knows when your birthday is and chose, however unkind it may seem, to ignore it. sometimes when people end relationships they dont want any contact ever or at least for the first few months regards what the relationship was like. i think for YOURSELF you shouldnt do it. because it would be a waste of your energy that is better used for something else. Link to post Share on other sites
Still Sad Posted September 4, 2004 Share Posted September 4, 2004 Sure but do I want to stoop to her level and just be a cold hearted a**h***? I am much better than that. 3 months should be enough time for her to atleast be cordial, don't you think? Link to post Share on other sites
brandx Posted September 5, 2004 Share Posted September 5, 2004 Originally posted by Still Sad Sure but do I want to stoop to her level and just be a cold hearted a**h***? I am much better than that. 3 months should be enough time for her to atleast be cordial, don't you think? I feel for you, I really do, but with all due respect, it doesn't matter what we think. Fact of the matter is she does not want to be cordial. She does not want contact. I agree 100% that it is a bunch of crap, but the sooner you realize that this behavior reflects that she is not the right person for you, no matter what you thought or think, the better off you will be. It is damn hard to move on. Use her immaturity in this area as fuel to move past her. Take Care, Brand X Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted September 5, 2004 Share Posted September 5, 2004 I think you're being too harsh calling her a cold-blooded a**h***. Her first duty is to her son, and maybe she doesn't want to hurt him, or maybe she doesn't want to lead you on. Forget about her and move on. She's your EX. Link to post Share on other sites
Still Sad Posted September 6, 2004 Share Posted September 6, 2004 I don't think that being cordail or acknowledging someones birthday, that was special to you, is leading anyone on. Link to post Share on other sites
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