brokeNlost Posted March 25, 2014 Share Posted March 25, 2014 I got a text this morning from my ex-gf of 4 yrs who left me for another guy. She ask me "what would you do if I want to come back to you" This text is driving me crazy. I been through so much pain because of this breakup and just starting to feel better with my life and now this happens. I don't want to reply back because it could open up my wound. And how the hell do she expect me to take her back after all the BS she put me through? She turned all of my friends against me and my family pretty much hated her. Plus how can I trust her again after so many of her lies. Anybody have similar experiences or advices they would like to share with me? thanks Link to post Share on other sites
lamis Posted March 25, 2014 Share Posted March 25, 2014 I don't have a similar experience, but I have a similar stance as you do. If a girl dumps you and so on, it happened for a reason. Don't let her text bother you, as you said you don't want her back anyway. Maintain NC, that is answer enough for her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
realfriends Posted March 25, 2014 Share Posted March 25, 2014 "what would you do if I want to come back to you" She just wants to make sure that you are still a viable backup plan. Which you are not. Don't respond to this. Such a ridiculous text. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted March 25, 2014 Share Posted March 25, 2014 It's a ridiculous text. Anyone with halfway decent intentions would pick up the phone and make their intentions clear. 9 Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted March 25, 2014 Share Posted March 25, 2014 her: Question. "If" me and him doesn't work out for some reason... Do u still want me? me: why do u ask her: Just answer my question me: I have never stopped loving you. her: awwwwwww OP, remember that conversation back in December I think. Four months later still a mind f***. Please don't even think of going back to her or even contemplate a response. It's just not worth it. I think 1) her new guy isn't working out 2) she gets a huge ego boost knowing you "have never stopped loving her" 3) she's wanting to know if she still has her puppy 4) she is manipulative. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author brokeNlost Posted March 25, 2014 Author Share Posted March 25, 2014 her: Question. "If" me and him doesn't work out for some reason... Do u still want me? me: why do u ask her: Just answer my question me: I have never stopped loving you. her: awwwwwww OP, remember that conversation back in December I think. Four months later still a mind f***. Please don't even think of going back to her or even contemplate a response. It's just not worth it. I think 1) her new guy isn't working out 2) she gets a huge ego boost knowing you "have never stopped loving her" 3) she's wanting to know if she still has her puppy 4) she is manipulative. Yes, exactly what I was thinking. She just need another ego boost. I think if somebody really want to get back with you, they would at least make more effort. Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted March 25, 2014 Share Posted March 25, 2014 Yes, exactly what I was thinking. She just need another ego boost. I think if somebody really want to get back with you, they would at least make more effort. I read your threads. Even if she made an effort, I'd have to wonder if it's coming from a healthy place, with good and honest intent. Link to post Share on other sites
STM206 Posted March 25, 2014 Share Posted March 25, 2014 She's totally fishing right now. Your response should be... "What would YOU do if I even wanted you back?" Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted March 25, 2014 Share Posted March 25, 2014 She's totally fishing right now. Your response should be... "What would YOU do if I even wanted you back?" OP, please don't do this. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
FrostBlaze Posted March 25, 2014 Share Posted March 25, 2014 Best thing is to not answer. But since i kNOW U WILL . If you do want to reply however, do so by not answering her question. "Spill it out if you want to say something, i don't have time for games/breadcrumbs". or "is that it? try harder" She might confess and apologize or not if she has any self-respect/big ego. If she does confess, u have the honor of refusing her and be a D , never hear from her i bet. or something similar. Then again you might of replied allready xD. Link to post Share on other sites
Never Again Posted March 25, 2014 Share Posted March 25, 2014 Please, please listen to Zahara. In situations like this, silence speaks louder than words. As fun as it'd be to respond with, "I'd laugh and ask you to tell me another joke", ANY response you give her will only boost her ego. If you tell her you care, she'll know you're her safety net and she'll feel good. If you tell her you hate her, she'll know you still have strong feelings of some kind, and she'll feel good. The ONLY time you can respond to ANY messages are when you're indifferent and can shoot off a message without needing to come here. When you don't feel the motivation to send a message longer than 3 words, you're good to say "buzz off" because it won't affect you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author brokeNlost Posted March 25, 2014 Author Share Posted March 25, 2014 Best thing is to not answer. But since i kNOW U WILL . If you do want to reply however, do so by not answering her question. "Spill it out if you want to say something, i don't have time for games/breadcrumbs". or "is that it? try harder" She might confess and apologize or not if she has any self-respect/big ego. If she does confess, u have the honor of refusing her and be a D , never hear from her i bet. or something similar. Then again you might of replied allready xD. I haven't yet actually. Funny though, at the time of this post, I just got another text from her .. pretty much asking the same question lol 1 Link to post Share on other sites
somegoodman Posted March 25, 2014 Share Posted March 25, 2014 Whenever you get BS texts like these just think "What would someone who doesn't give a **** do"? Then do that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Hoosfoos Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 What a manipulative beyotch. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 Your ex sucks dude. I'd block her number. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
mtnbiker3000 Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 I'd be F'en pissed if I got that sh*t. Tell that c*nt to F off!!! Grrrrrrr. This type of BS makes me really angry 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author brokeNlost Posted May 2, 2014 Author Share Posted May 2, 2014 (edited) Still miss her after 7 months since BU. Sometimes I think this whole NC is nothing more than a mere game of who can last the longest. The last time she made contact was about 5 weeks ago to ask for reconciliation but I rejected it under the premise that the damage has already been done and even if we get back together, it would just be a matter time that we would break up again. However, In these past few weeks, I find myself second guessing and wondering what would happen if I did. Would she be loyal and still be trustworthy? Can we even be friends at all? My vent for today, thank you for reading Edited May 2, 2014 by brokeNlost Link to post Share on other sites
erklat Posted May 2, 2014 Share Posted May 2, 2014 I would like to know if my x is second guessing like you are. You can't be friends with someone you had romantic feelings for. Link to post Share on other sites
Author brokeNlost Posted May 2, 2014 Author Share Posted May 2, 2014 (edited) I agreed but I can't seem to get her out of my head. The only thing I found that actually worked for me was online gambling. It seem to be working for the most part, instead of spending all night locked up in my room thinking about her, I spent it making sports picks and watching the games. Edited May 2, 2014 by brokeNlost Link to post Share on other sites
FredJones80 Posted May 2, 2014 Share Posted May 2, 2014 I agreed but I can't seem to get her out of my head. The only thing I found that actually worked for me was online gambling. It seem to be working for the most part, instead of spending all night locked up in my room thinking about her, I spent it making sports picks and watching the games. Did you win though ? Link to post Share on other sites
Author brokeNlost Posted May 2, 2014 Author Share Posted May 2, 2014 actually yes, I guess all those years watching the NBA payoff, the last time I cashed out was around $800 Link to post Share on other sites
Jiivy Posted May 3, 2014 Share Posted May 3, 2014 You'll never know if you can trust her again - ever. It doesn't mean she neccesarily would do it again, it's just that you have to accept this risk if you were to ever engage in reconciliation again. It's a catch 22 I think...you'd need to be in a place where you can have a relationship and be strong enough in yourself that you're prepared for her to leave you again...and she'd have to have changed or really show you that she's in a place where she's not going to repeat the old relationship. My honest opinion - honesty is the best medicine. I might get flamed for suggesting it, but I'd lay it all on the table with her. Tell her the position you're in about being mistrustful and keep working on yourself to figure out where your head's at. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mtnbiker3000 Posted May 3, 2014 Share Posted May 3, 2014 The only thing I found that actually worked for me was online gambling. It seem to be working for the most part, instead of spending all night locked up in my room thinking about her, I spent it making sports picks and watching the games. Hahahaha. I spent a fair amount of time in the casino myself over the last year. That and drinkin' quite a bit (another issue)... Remember, NC is designed to help you heal. Not to win any kind of contest or hold out longer. Your best bet is to just assume you will never be in contact with her again. That's what I do, and I'm at 14 months NC. I doubt I will ever speak with her again. Fine with me!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author brokeNlost Posted May 3, 2014 Author Share Posted May 3, 2014 Hahahaha. I spent a fair amount of time in the casino myself over the last year. That and drinkin' quite a bit (another issue)... Remember, NC is designed to help you heal. Not to win any kind of contest or hold out longer. Your best bet is to just assume you will never be in contact with her again. That's what I do, and I'm at 14 months NC. I doubt I will ever speak with her again. Fine with me!!! Yup, drinking and gambling that pretty much sum up what I been doing in these past few months. I know NC work because I feel much better now than before but I truly hope that she won't reach out anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
Author brokeNlost Posted May 11, 2014 Author Share Posted May 11, 2014 (edited) So today I received another text/call from my ex. She ask me direction to a restaurant I took her out a while back when we dated. Why the hell would she asked me random sh*t like that? Is she up to something? Is she looking for a reason to contact me? I mean if she really want to know how to get to the restaurant she can easily Google it or use a GPS, right? P.S. I didn't text or answered but tempted to Edited May 11, 2014 by brokeNlost Link to post Share on other sites
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