was feeling great, now it feels like day 1.

[confusedjan]

I was in a relationship with an emotionally abusive ex for almost 6 years and I broke it off a little over a month ago (technically we were just friends at the time). He called me all out my name and said some evil things, he has had a girlfriend since before I ended contact and he never told me (he use to stay at my place all the time) and he sends me small text that shows he is trying to hurt me. At first he texted me a week after I ended it and acted like nothing happened, I told him I needed time and he cursed me out. He did the exact same thing about a week after that and I told him I can not be his friend (that's when he cursed me out). He's been treating me like crap for months, talking to other girls for years (and will never admit it), and is intentionally trying to hurt me whenever he can. And yet, I am crying and wondering why I wasn't enough. I gave him all of me in every way and he never did the same. This past month has been hard but it has become easier. But today I just want to die. I feel so sad that someone who claimed they loved me would treat me bad and control and manipulate me. I am not perfect and I made mistakes but I grew from them, he did not. He's 27 and I'm 22 and after almost 7 years you would think he would care more or at least realize how he treated me. But no, he has a girlfriend and im sure she's doing everything for him that I use to do. I REALLY don't want him back, it just hurts because I tried sooo hard to make it work and he basically said I wasn't the effort.