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At a stand still.


chinacat sunflower

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chinacat sunflower

It's been a year since I have spoken/seen my ex. Less than two short months after our split, he met his soul mate and I'm just waiting for the day I find out they are married. I still can't get over the feeling of being disposed of. Tossed away so easily. Showing NO REMORSE what-so-ever. I HONESTLY did NOT deserve to be treated that way. I am mature enough and emotionally capable enough to hear "you're not the one for me" instead of some load of CRAP and then proceed to make me feel like it was MY fault he didn't want to be with me. Which in fact is not my fault. If I had the ability to control someone else's emotions, I would have made him love me the way I really thought he did.

 

In general I have been coping really well. I'm completely a-okay with being single and working on myself. However, this is the second night in a row I can't sleep, and all I can think of is him, and her, and how it all worked out so perfectly for them.

 

I cannot even redirect my thoughts right now, and I've tried and tried. Knitting and watching Lord of the Rings is usually a full proof tactic for me and it didn't even work. Not even a little bit. All I want to do is have a nice peaceful night sleep. I don't understand why this is happening. I've moved, got a new car, CHOPPED my hair (donated to locks of love) all within the past month. And most importantly I've been thinking about him less and less and smiling more. I don't understand what's wrong with me and what I'm doing wrong. Tonight and last night made up for the past month though. I'm sick of this crap. Why can't I let this go already???????? I know very well he's moved on, will be getting married soon. I'm in touch with reality. But I'm having difficulty forgetting him.

 

Can anyone relate????

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Umm.. I don't really like reading posts about people still struggling at the one year mark, it's not very encouraging for the rest of us..

 

So much for No Contact being the solution. 'Go No Contact, Work On Yourself' they say, you will be fine eventually.. eventually probably being the key word..

 

Maybe just accept you will always have feelings for this man and learn to live with it. You must still have feelings if it still bothers you after a year. Who cares that he made you feel it was your fault? Most dumpers do that. Very few are mature enough to just say our dynamic is wrong, you are not the one for me. My ex also dished me a long list of all my faults when she pulled the plug.

 

You have obviously not fallen for anyone else in this time. That is the only real solution for us love sick softies. But it probably wont happen if you continue to be bitter. No one wants a sour puss chinacat.

Edited by RDawg
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maturityassets

Might be time for you to go and look for someone else. Maybe you are just longing for someone to be in your life and your mind is going back to him because that was your last memory of a relationship. I'm just taking guesses at this point after you say its been a year. Also don't anticipate anything about his new relationship. He's not apart of your life any longer

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I think it is quite normal.

 

Relationships leave impacts in our life, and the people themselves. There will always be reflection on that. I have no desire to re-unite with my ex husband of 2 years ago, but I do think of him sometimes with regret, but regret that we both made a mistake and I value him as having been a big part of my life.

 

I think it is a great characteristic of yours that people mean a lot to you and the impacts they had on you. And being alone gives a lot of time for thought and reflection.

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chinacat sunflower
Might be time for you to go and look for someone else. Maybe you are just longing for someone to be in your life and your mind is going back to him because that was your last memory of a relationship. I'm just taking guesses at this point after you say its been a year. Also don't anticipate anything about his new relationship. He's not apart of your life any longer

 

I've been on dates. A lot of dates. (Dinner, movies, etc….all casual, nothing physical!) Whenever someone asks me out, I take them up on it. I deserve to be adored. The guys I am meeting are not doing it for me. Maybe I'm being picky, but I REFUSE to be in a relationship with someone that doesn't make me happy. I've passed up on 6 relationships this past year. Maybe I'm crazy, but I'd rather be single and somewhat on an even keel than be in a relationship with someone I am not happy with.

 

I will never give up hope.

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Tryingtobegrateful

yeah I mean I am not short of dates neither...

I do get chatted up a lot, but more guys I meet, the more I feel it is difficult for me to find one to fall for again....

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chinacat sunflower
yeah I mean I am not short of dates neither...

I do get chatted up a lot, but more guys I meet, the more I feel it is difficult for me to find one to fall for again....

 

I need to be SWEPT off my feet, and that's rare. I'm starting to think maybe it's time to just settle with whatever. I don't know.

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chinacat sunflower
I think it is quite normal.

 

Relationships leave impacts in our life, and the people themselves. There will always be reflection on that. I have no desire to re-unite with my ex husband of 2 years ago, but I do think of him sometimes with regret, but regret that we both made a mistake and I value him as having been a big part of my life.

 

I think it is a great characteristic of yours that people mean a lot to you and the impacts they had on you. And being alone gives a lot of time for thought and reflection.

 

This is the greatest thing anyone has ever said to me throughout this whole endeavor. Thank you.

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