Whatami Posted December 31, 2013 Share Posted December 31, 2013 So me and my ex, she's in school with me started speaking before the end of the last school year. Her personality is amazing she's one of the nicest girls i've met and she is the prettiest girl in school. She started falling for me quick, waaay quicker than i did. We started dating unofficialy we went out kissed talked 24/7 etc. she was crazy about me, i then decided to give it a shot at making it official bf gf, so unofficial dating 5 months and official 1 months so 6months in total. Last 8-9 days with her i don't know what got into me i started feeling indifferent and she would complain to my friends and that would annoy me more and more. She said we needed to talk, we went out and she told a mutual friend she was really scared. I suggested we break and see whether we like things or not (I did it not her ) 4 days later i realize i do really like her, i ask her back she said she likes me but it's too soon and i need to show that i changed. I was pushing more and she was pulling. 2 weeks in she says she likes but we should just be friends. A week later she goes out with this guy, and they continue going out for the next 2-3 weeks and now they're dating. It's eating me up in the inside, i threw our relationship down the drain, not her. It was my fault not hers. It's been 2 month post BU and a month and a half when she ended it for good, all i think about is her,24/7 i wake up feeling like absolute crap. While she's enjoying her life with her new boyfriend, the thought of them getting sexual just disgusts me, makes me feel sick. I am in NC now, about the boyfriend think i had suspicions and asked a mutual friend. She's Keeping it a bit on the down low, she knows i know because i told her she shouldn't hide it because of me if she is and i'm really happy For her. I am in complete NC right now, come sunday school starts and i have to see her everyday. And everyone makes me feel worse instead of saying you'll find someone else, they go like "you're so stupid you let her go" "she's beautiful, what were you thinking" only my close friends know i'm hurting but they don't know it's THIS bad except one of them. I keep blaming myself For everything that happened Link to post Share on other sites
cherrynicoable Posted December 31, 2013 Share Posted December 31, 2013 Regret can really leave you with heavy guilt and have you wanting her back more than ever. First thing, when you tried to get her back the first time..did you REALLY try? Like sometimes a girl needs A LOT of reassurance if you've hurt her before. You need to really tell her how you feel and how much she really means to you. But, if she pushed you away..what are you really missing? Any girl that really really liked you or even loved you would give you another chance. Most likely..she had already met the bf she has now while you were trying to get her back. But trust me, if she really loved you she would have given you another chance. I think what she may have been feeling at the beginning of you two's relationship was just the "honeymoon phase". Seems like you're young..like me. Hear me when I say, there will be a lot more pretty girls with amazing personalities you will meet in life. I know you feel as if you'll always be stuck on this one, but life does go on. Don't be so hard on yourself. If you really tried to get her back, you can at least say you tried. If things were really meant to be, she would have taken you back. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Whatami Posted December 31, 2013 Author Share Posted December 31, 2013 well she was worried i was the one that was going to leave her in the beginning, she wanted to lose her virginity but after a couple of months of official. so during foreplay she told me go for it and said i'm scared if you do it and leave me 2 weeks later. she seemed REALLY into me. like she would look at me and just smile for no reason. i didn't take her virginity or lose mine because she wanted to wait and i held myself.i admit i hurt her, but she made it seem MUCH worse. and yes i really really did try, i was planning on taking her out to a fancy dinner and buy her flowers because her best friend told me to do that since she felt unappreciated. But she ended it, i guess you're right if she really did like me she would've taken me back. i'm going to stay in NC and hopefully come out stronger, thanks for your words. she met the bf before we even started dating Link to post Share on other sites
cherrynicoable Posted December 31, 2013 Share Posted December 31, 2013 I suggest you try this. Let this be your closure. Write a hand written letter. Write down all your feelings. Don't make it too sappy. Just let her know you're sorry for ever hurting her and if you could fix it, you would. And that you wish her the best and only want her to be happy. You can choose to give her this letter or not. It's up to you. If you give it to her, she may be more drawn to read it when things have settled down. After you write the letter, that will be the end of you putting in any more effort. If she plans to come back, the ball will be in her court. You have made your efforts. But don't have any hope for her coming back..just focus on your life and getting yourself back together. Life will start to look up again. I promise. We'll all make it out of this one day! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Reels Posted January 1, 2014 Share Posted January 1, 2014 If you think that you had done mistakes, I will just say that you just had the lesson. Be aware next time. Link to post Share on other sites
Mariposa10 Posted January 1, 2014 Share Posted January 1, 2014 I know what regret feels. But you know what there's nothing you can do not. If it's meant to be, it'll happen. I know my post is kind of stupid and not very helpful right now, but it's as simple as that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Whatami Posted January 1, 2014 Author Share Posted January 1, 2014 (edited) I suggest you try this. Let this be your closure. Write a hand written letter. Write down all your feelings. Don't make it too sappy. Just let her know you're sorry for ever hurting her and if you could fix it, you would. And that you wish her the best and only want her to be happy. You can choose to give her this letter or not. It's up to you. If you give it to her, she may be more drawn to read it when things have settled down. After you write the letter, that will be the end of you putting in any more effort. If she plans to come back, the ball will be in her court. You have made your efforts. But don't have any hope for her coming back..just focus on your life and getting yourself back together. Life will start to look up again. I promise. We'll all make it out of this one day! I won't write anything, it's been 2months post BU and she knows how sorry i was.I just don't get how she could move on so fast. She IS really happy with him, but she was also really happy with me. I was the first guy she liked since her ex, and they broke up a year and a half before we got together. Then it takes her a month after me to get into a relationship? Like how can feelings change that fast i just want mine to change so i can move on... I wake up with this huge clench in my chest, i think about it all the time. I started working out yesterday. I know i'm being over dramatic but like i've never felt this way before. I've had another breakup which was hard for me as i really liked the girl, we dated 2 weeks and it took me 8months to move on? If not more, although it hurt alot it's nothing like now.because the recent ex, is gorgeous and her personality is:love:,the only wrong thing with her is that she moved on really fast! I just don't want this empty void feeling to continue until school finishes and i'm off to uni Edit:i did write a closure letter and burnt it like 2 weeks back, but still nothing. Only thing that improved since breakup was my appetite and my sleep got a bit better Edited January 1, 2014 by Whatami Link to post Share on other sites
Reels Posted January 1, 2014 Share Posted January 1, 2014 I won't write anything, it's been 2months post BU and she knows how sorry i was.I just don't get how she could move on so fast. She IS really happy with him, but she was also really happy with me. I was the first guy she liked since her ex, and they broke up a year and a half before we got together. Then it takes her a month after me to get into a relationship? Like how can feelings change that fast i just want mine to change so i can move on... I wake up with this huge clench in my chest, i think about it all the time. I started working out yesterday. I know i'm being over dramatic but like i've never felt this way before. I've had another breakup which was hard for me as i really liked the girl, we dated 2 weeks and it took me 8months to move on? If not more, although it hurt alot it's nothing like now.because the recent ex, is gorgeous and her personality is:love:,the only wrong thing with her is that she moved on really fast! I just don't want this empty void feeling to continue until school finishes and i'm off to uni Edit:i did write a closure letter and burnt it like 2 weeks back, but still nothing. Only thing that improved since breakup was my appetite and my sleep got a bit better Think you are alone? Many of us are passing through same stage. It's just a human we believe on, and starts treating like its some God.. When its not. Link to post Share on other sites
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