CBT for depression.

[livingnightmare]

Will be brief as my story as its in my threads on the forum.

 

Thought I was over my childs mother a long time ago, but recently I have started feeling feelings I have not had since the actual break up, they are very near intense like the actual break up its self.

 

All the stages of grief appear to be playing through my mind rapidly throughout the day in no apparent order. I think I'm finally seeing the relationship for how much emotional abuse I was put through, I could not see it at the time. But dam it hurts.

 

Can anyone help me unravel what I need to do? This ended 4 years ago, yet the pain is like yesterday.

 

Why do I still feel emotional attachment to this woman? I know she hates me. She would not have ended it that way other wise after 6 years. I know she did not care for any emotional needs of mine, any sexual needs, any needs what so ever, when she hurt me in the relationship she made it about her, constantly treading on egg shells. When i found out she cheated she lied and confused me made it about her feelings.

 

Dam I'm confused. Don't know how to get out this mess in my head, Im trying and will try harder after new year.

 

Has anyone done CBT? Is it helpful? Im waiting for an appointment. Still cant believe someone can cause so much turmoil in a persons mind, Im really trying to let it go, but she made me feel worthless and still blames me for pushing her that way, says everything was my fault and is now saying I was an abuser because I dared argue back after hours, days of put downs, rage ahh to many to mention.

 

Mentally exhausted and now I have to see her in a few hours when she picks my daughter up.

 

Sorry if I'm rambling, I'm not very well focussed.

[CYBER77]

man 4years is a lot but i started thinking about an ex we broke up been more than 1 year 3 months i guess,well i started thinking about her about one month ago,i was feeling kinda low depress too because i couldn't understand what i was feeling she was one sick bit... and i left and went no contact well everyday i'm kind of struggling getting her away of my mind,i guess when we are lonely sometime old feelings can resurface, through we don't love these people we go through the same old ****ty memories of the moments we were with them,i just wish they go far far away like once i wish you the same and happy new year

[livingnightmare]

It really sucks, I'm deeply hurt and traumatized how she could have done what she done to me. Wishing... longing for this to be over.

[Still-I-Rise]

MTNBIKER3000 has the following signature: Is this really about your ex? Where do you stand on: co-dependency, boundaries, decision making, self-esteem, self-worth and self-confidence? Look in a mirror and have that conversation with yourself.

 

I am sorry you are in such emotional pain. Your post makes it seem like you are powerless in this situation; as if it is all up to her or life to rescue or heal you.

 

But there is something you can do. YOU can rescue you.

 

I've just begun reading a book called Codependent No More and can see myself in its pages through understanding my behavior.

 

I now see my role in my pain, in my relationship, and in my healing. I'm not at all as powerless as I felt just last week.

 

Please review it on Amazon as it will allow you to look inside the book.

 

Good luck with therapy.

[Still-I-Rise]

Deleted duplicate reply

Edited December 28, 2013 by Still-I-Rise

[livingnightmare]

Thanks I needed that, I guess I fail all areas in MTNBIKER3000's sig, I got allot of work to do on myself.

 

Looks interesting, I have been referred to a few books on here, but never got round to buying them. I have a small list of immediate things to work on in no order

/CBT therapy.

/ Find work anything, the building trade is not working for me.

/Quit smoking and drinking.

/Start going gym

/Buy some books to help me understand and learn what I need to do for myself.

/Make new social circles.

 

Maybe these feelings have emerged as a sign to grow. I did sign up to some local lessons to brush up on my maths and English and make friends, but they shut the place down and near the end I was the only student

 

Thanks for your support.

[StringsAttached]

I tried psychotherapy after my last, last BU. It didn't help I found that her advice was very obvious. After all is said and done they'll probably tell you to read a certain book that you'd use to accept your feelings once and for all and you'll be like 'wow this really worked'!!

 

However, after a couple of months you'll realize that change must come from within yourself and no matter how many specialists you go to, nobody knows your exact story and what you've been though. You could give them a brief summary but it would take you months to tell them everything i'm sure.

 

Everyone is different it could work out but if you pay them per session and after about ~10 sessions, if you haven't noticed any improvement I suggest stop or you'll continue wasting your money.

 

Good luck

[Itspointless]

I tried psychotherapy after my last, last BU. It didn't help I found that her advice was very obvious. After all is said and done they'll probably tell you to read a certain book that you'd use to accept your feelings once and for all and you'll be like 'wow this really worked'!!

 

Well that is what cognitive behavioural therapy is mostly about, giving you some tools. If you want to work on yourself on a deeper level you have to look into other forms. As you can see there are many options: Different types of psychotherapy