hopelessly waiting? Posted August 6, 2004 Share Posted August 6, 2004 I have never posted to a forum before so bear with me... I had been dating my boyfriend off and on for three years. We are both in our mid to late 20s. It was a long distance relationship the whole time. We have taken "breaks" before, sometimes with contact and sometimes without but always knowing it was just a break. We were trying to be rational about the long distance relationship and we didn't want to rush into things. We have now had absolutely no contact this time for 3 months. The longest we have gone is 6 months with no contact. We were best friends and had the most amazing time together. We talked everyday. He told me the highlight of his day was when he got to talk to me. We planned a future together. We are both really family oriented and both of us loved the other's family. He told me he knew I was the one he is meant to spend his life with and that we were soul mates and that he loved me more than he can even put into words. Then 3 months ago he told me he was confused. He said that he felt something was missing and he didn't know what it was; that something was holding him back. He said it isn't fair to me to drag me on when he tries to figure it out. He said he knows that he is making the biggest mistake of his life by letting me go and that he knows he is going to regret it. We were both crying and still saying how much we loved each other even as we were breaking up. So what does this all mean? Is he just scared or was all of it just some big excuse to get out of the relationship without "hurting" me? I miss him more than anything and I really thought we were going to spend our lives together. There is no chance of me breaking down and calling him since this is something that he is going to have to figure out but am I hoping for a lost cause in him calling me? How is it possible for him to love me so much but feel that something is missing? Link to post Share on other sites
YellowLioness Posted August 6, 2004 Share Posted August 6, 2004 Hrmmm... Well, he should have told you specifics, first off. If he's going to say that "something's missing," he should tell you what that something is. in all likleyhood, he knows what it is, he's just not wanting to tell you. He may think that it will hurt your feelings, he may just not like confrontations. IMHO, you should'nt waste any more of your time worrying about what you did wrong. I know its hard, but try to go out and have fun with your friends, or go on dates with other guys. It will help bolster your self-esteem.:-) Link to post Share on other sites
hopelessly waiting? Posted August 6, 2004 Share Posted August 6, 2004 He is definitely one of those brutely honest types, so I can't think of why he wouldn't tell me what the thing that is missing is, if he knew what it was. He has never had a problem telling me what any other thing was that was on his mind. If it hurt me or not. he always wanted us to be completely honest with our feelings. Whenever we have taken any of our other "breaks," it was a couple of weeks after we saw each other, and things were going great. The last time I saw him was when I met his family and we started talking about me moving to where he is. When he took me to the airport he was upset and saying he didn't want me to leave. Then a month later is when he said "something is missing and he is confused." I am not sure if he just got scared and pulled away, or if he is looking for something wrong in the relationship when there really isn't anything that is wrong. We never fought or had arguments. If we did disagree on something we would talk about it right away to make sure there were no hurt feelings. His mom told him (he is really close to his mom and goes to her for advise) that he might be the type of person that can't be content when things are going well; that he purposely is making himself unhappy by ending it with me. According to him I am the only girlfriend that his parent's actually liked and wanted to see him be with. They were even planning a trip to my state for a holiday in the future so that they can see me. So they weren't to happy with the idea of him breaking up with me, but told him that he needed to get it out and tell me that he was confused. This is why I am so baffled by everything. I think if he really knew what was "missing" he would have told me. He said he knew he was going to regret what he was doing and he knew it was a mistake to break up with me; so then why did he do it? And is there anyone who has had this happen to them and if so what was the outcome? Link to post Share on other sites
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