Kbear Posted July 31, 2004 Share Posted July 31, 2004 As I said before my boyfriend of 2 years is contmplating his future with me. He is shutting me out of his life. Our discussions have not been very sucessfu. He keeps telling me he is confused and doesn't know what he wants. Tonight he went out with friend whom we always double date with. They asked him to ask me if I wanted to go. He didn't even ask me. He said he wanted to go out on his own. Usualy I am real cool with him needing his space, but becuase we have been having all these problems I was pissed that he didn't even ask. He is making me out to be the bad guy in front of every one we know because they ask where I am or whats wrong with me, and he says "I don't know." I am so sick of that answer from him. I told him again tonight that he was hurting me and I can't stand being treated like his roomate instead of his girlfriend. I guess all I wanted from him was to hold me and tell me he was sorry for making me cry. But he treated me like I was a nobody to him tonight. It didn't even phase him that I was crying and sad. He keeps telling me that he doesn't want to hurt me but stupid little incidents like this hurt the worse. I keep offering him time alone to think. I told him I would leave if he wanted but his response is..."I don't know." AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! I don't want our relationship to end on a bad note. But we have so many financial situations keeping us together and we have a dog. I mean how can this get any better? If we split up these are issues that have to be resolved and taken care of. I am scared, and I hate him right now for making me feel this way. I don't know how to act around him anymore . Link to post Share on other sites
lioness Posted July 31, 2004 Share Posted July 31, 2004 Sometimes men don't know how to deal with a woman when she cries, and can react with anger, or indifference. Which makes you want to cry even more, creating a vicious cycle. I don't know how long this has been going on with you guys, but it does sound like he's already checked out of the relationship. Have either of you seen a counselor or anything? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kbear Posted July 31, 2004 Author Share Posted July 31, 2004 This has only been going on for 2 weeks. He has done a complete turnaround on me. I think his way of dealing with these issues he's having is to just avoid me. Link to post Share on other sites
lioness Posted July 31, 2004 Share Posted July 31, 2004 What kinds of "issues" are you guys having? Do you think he's seeing someone else? I mean, was it just all of a sudden, he woke up one day and decided he really needed to think about where you guys were headed? Link to post Share on other sites
aFighter Posted July 31, 2004 Share Posted July 31, 2004 Sounds to me like he want's to be done with the relationship and rather have the balls to tell you, he's drawing it out until you break up with him ergo he comes out smelling of roses. Trying to make you look bad in front of his pals is a major indicator of that theory. If someone is making you sad and they don't even care from what you say then maybe you should move on, life is too short to be letting someone control you & make you feel this way. You should dry up the tears, gather your thoughts & just have it out with him from a position of strength. Ask him what the hell is going on & you're tired of being jerked around, you deserve that much at least. Maybe then he'll come clean about what's 'really' happening and you can go from there. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kbear Posted July 31, 2004 Author Share Posted July 31, 2004 We have never in our whole 2 years of being together had any kinds of real problems. Everything has been wonderful until 2 weeks ago he is having a mid life crisis, even though he is only 26. I know he is not cheating on me. Believe me I have covered that with him. He says he still loves me and he doesn't want to hurt me later on down the road because of the things he is feeling now. The only thing I can get out of him is that he keeps thinking about his future and he can't see me in it, even though he said I am the best thing that has ever happened to him. I know there is a problem there because when I think of my future he is automatically calculated in it. For me it never was a question. So I know there is a problem somewhere and something has triggered these feeling and this crisis he is having. I just don't know what it is. I know all of his friends very well and his parents, and these would be the first people to tell him he would be stupid for letting me go. I mean not to sound conceded, but Everyone that knows him very well has told me what a positive person I have been for him and how lucky he is. He has even told me that. That is why I can't figure out why all of a sudden he is having these feelings. I have not changed, and he knows I would be the first person to change for him if he wanted. I know that is not neccesarily the best thing to do but that is just how much I love him. Link to post Share on other sites
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