jenn78 Posted July 24, 2013 Share Posted July 24, 2013 hi all. So my (ex)boyfriend and i broke up officially about a month ago. We dated for just over a year. He said he wasn't satisfied with the fact I was "quiet" around his friends - although I felt i just didn't click with them as much as I wanted to. I on the other hand was unable to completely trust him. I knew I could tell him my secrets but I couldn't trust him to not hurt me. That doubt was always there because of things he would say/do. He was a good guy in general. The long and short of it is that I left it up to him to break up with me because he said something in his "gut" was telling him something wasn't right but he couldn't put his finger on it and he didn't want to pick apart our relationship and he thinks this is a point in his life where he can't be in a relationship and need to be single to go out and explore the world and himself. Admittedly now I know our relationship was doomed because the trust wasn't there for me. We both agreed we could have worked on our issues if we had tried again but we didn't. The part I am struggling with now is how to stop thinking that what if in six months or a year he regrets what he did and wants me back? He is pretty sad now and misses me a lot. How do i stop thinking about the "what if"? How do i let myself move on? I have blocked him on facebook and asked him to block me on instagram so i'm not able to see what he is doing anymore. I have been doing things for me a lot more lately which has helped but the sadness is still there. I think its harder to move on because he is still sad and not happy about the decision he made. Any tips on how to move on will be well appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted July 25, 2013 Share Posted July 25, 2013 Regardless of what he felt in his gut, or how quiet you were with his friends (that's a stupid reason if I ever heard one), you couldn't trust him and that's enough of a reason to not stay with someone. Would you want someone back who you didn't trust before? How could you trust that things would be any different if he did come back? All you can do is block him any way you can and not check up on him. Sounds like you're moving in the right direction and working on yourself. Just keep at it and you'll find the more you find fulfillment in yourself, the less you will worry about the past. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jenn78 Posted July 25, 2013 Author Share Posted July 25, 2013 it is a stupid reason... i mean he wanted me to ask more questions and have more inquisitive conversations... i guess he didnt understand how introverts work. its not as if we just sat in total silence. But as much as essentially cutting him out of my life hurts i think its best. Link to post Share on other sites
NomiMalone Posted July 26, 2013 Share Posted July 26, 2013 Jenn, it sounds like you have some incompatibilities/trust/communication issues going on there that might make a relationship difficult in the long run. From what you've described, it sounds as though he doesn't accept you for who you are*even though he loves you, and it's important that our partners love us for who we are. Its not your fault you didn't click with his friends as well as you wanted to, and there's nothing wrong with that at all - it takes all sorts to make the world and we aren't going to get on like a house on fire with every single person we come across. Relationships aren't meant to be easy, but they aren't meant to be hard either.* 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author jenn78 Posted July 27, 2013 Author Share Posted July 27, 2013 (edited) <Similar threads merged by moderation> My ex and i broke up a month ago because we didnt communicate our needs, he didnt like that I was quiet around his friends/fam & that I didnt ask as many questions in our conversations, and i had issues with trusting him 100 percent.... we thought of trying again but something in him held him back and deep down i know the trust issue needs to be dealt with. anyways a mutual friend of ours recently went to breakfast with him and he said how sad he was and that he is sad because he lost his best friend but he knows it wasn't meant to be. (This killed my heart when i heard that last part) How do I ignore the fact he is sad too? My brain keeps defaulting that one day we will get back together if he still misses me. Has anyone else been in this situation? Edited July 27, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
jesse93 Posted July 27, 2013 Share Posted July 27, 2013 i think you're focusing on the fact that he misses you and not the fact that he said he knows it can't work out, i think it is normal that he misses you i'm sure that every dumper misses their ex to some extent, unless the dumper was 100% sure that the choice they were making was the right one and they were already planning on breaking up with you before hand. i think you just have to keep pushing forward and not focus on the fact that he misses you but focus on the fact that he said that he knows it can't work out thats a good sign to move on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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