Silver_star Posted April 2, 2013 Share Posted April 2, 2013 Casual relationships are garbage. I finally did what all my friends said I should do ,and what i knew deep down I should do. I called of my "arrangement" with a guy I have been seeing casually for a while (3 years). He is usually out of town, but he was coming back in town this past weekend and I was super excited about it. I texted him when he got in and he didnt text me back. I realized I care way to much for someone who really cant be bothered unless it is convienient for him. I knew that for a while, but I made excuses. Since I was going to see him in person this weekend and I was SO excited to see him I bought new lingerie, and a new dress and the perfume I know he likes...it really gave me a reality check that I was wasting my efforts when he cant even text me back or be excited to see me. So when he texted me the next afternoon trying to make plans i told him it wasnt a good idea anymore and that I was more invested than I should be in him, and that I had to move on from this sexual thing we were doing because I cant do that kind of relationship anymore without getting attached to him. It was SO hard to say that because I like him very much. HE responded as I knew he would, not bad but not good...he said "i get it, But just so you know it wasnt just sex for me, i enjoy your company and being around you, but i understand it is hard not to get attached. Take care". Very nonchalant, he kind of said I like you, but not enough to get attached to you. He wasnt an ass about it, but just indifferent a bit. Sidebar: How do guys seperate sex and feelings so easy? So if I finally did something good for myself and the consensus was I should definitely cut him loose...part of me feels i should be proud of taking a stand.. but why do I feel so ****ty? How do I get over him? I know I cant contact him now..i put it all out on the table, and he knows where I stand. I dont want to delete him from facebook but I dont want to see his statuses or pics so I have hid his statuses and been avoiding it as much as possible. I dont beleive he was ccontact me so it will be hard to stay away from creeping him from time to time because I am hooked and addicted to him. He doesnt want a relationship with me. How do I GET over him? Link to post Share on other sites
bob the brave Posted April 2, 2013 Share Posted April 2, 2013 It's not only guys that can separate sex and feelings, girls do it too. I know a girl exactly like the guy you describe, but even worse. Seemed so sweet, but could be completely callus about things I thought were important. We ask ourselves how can people do this, but they perhaps may ask how can we not? I guess it is just different strokes though I am with you. Seems kind of a shallow, empty way to live. Anyway, I think you did great, kiddo. Way to go! I know it was hard, but it shows real guts, strength and character. To continue to hook up with him was costing you way more than perfume. It was costing you integrity and a future you are now free to enojoy with someone that will love you completely. His loss. One of the biggest mistakes I think we all make is to unconsciously try to act the way we think our partner wants in order to make a relationship work. We then lose ourselves and the relationship as a result. Just be who you are always and someone meant for you will respond and you will find the full, nuturing relationship you deserve. You know the drill...get out more, distance yourself as much as possible, find new friends...yada, yada, yada. All that is true, but the hard fact is it will just take time. Use this experience to make yourself stronger and wiser to bring even more to your next relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
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