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Waking up with that bad gut feeling


RiceaRoni

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So I woke up last night around 2-3am..I just finalized having a weird dream that I think involved my ex, and usually I just sleep through just fine; but for some reason...I woke up and I felt really sad..and my stomach started doing flips like I had butterflies and I didn't know why...

 

However I do think it's because my mind was realizing the loss and the fact that he may never come back into my life at all...and the butterflies were just part of the shock.

 

It's never happened before so I didn't know what to make of it lol

 

Other than that I'm coping just fine :) I've been going out a lot with my closest friends I have one mutual friend that I hang out with that knows my ex , but he knows that's ex is worthless and bad for me haha

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I can imagine that was a horrible dream that left you feeling bad. The unconscious mind is aware of much more than we ever are consciously. Maybe you have shut down your feelings about him (to protect yourself) and it is reminding you that are you feeing sad deep down. It's worth acknowledging that and at the same time realising that the feelings are there and reporting to you, but it doesn't change essential facts. It is quite possible to feel relief at breaking up with someone who was bad for you and yet immensely sad at the same time. It is also possible to feel anxious about the contradictory feelings. Ultimately, they will work their way through and surface maybe with a resolution of those feelings. Perhaps you will feel something has changed as a result. People make decisions unconsciously, I believe, and in order to do that contradictory information has to be resolved at some level. Just trust that your unconscious mind is working on it and let it.

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I can imagine that was a horrible dream that left you feeling bad. The unconscious mind is aware of much more than we ever are consciously. Maybe you have shut down your feelings about him (to protect yourself) and it is reminding you that are you feeing sad deep down. It's worth acknowledging that and at the same time realising that the feelings are there and reporting to you, but it doesn't change essential facts. It is quite possible to feel relief at breaking up with someone who was bad for you and yet immensely sad at the same time. It is also possible to feel anxious about the contradictory feelings. Ultimately, they will work their way through and surface maybe with a resolution of those feelings. Perhaps you will feel something has changed as a result. People make decisions unconsciously, I believe, and in order to do that contradictory information has to be resolved at some level. Just trust that your unconscious mind is working on it and let it.

 

 

 

I agree with what you say :)

 

And unfortunately he broke up with me...I have been coping with the loss now for almost 5 months. I'm trying to see him for who he really is and what he has changed to. It's been hard accepting this new side of him and realizing that I have to let him go in order to stop feeling pain and sadness

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It gets fusterating after awhile doesn't it? We do all we can. We try to shut our mind down. We tell ourselves we are okay. Then we go to sleep and our mind takes control. It does suck :( but we can get through it. Like you said, it's best to try to realize that they have changed. They arnt who we fell in love with no learned that first hand yesterday when I stumbled apon her faction album. She was doing things that she never wanted to do while we were dating... And it sucks. But it is what it is and we learn and move on. You are young and will find someone so much more amazing than your ex!! He's immature and doesn't deserve someone like you.

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So I woke up last night around 2-3am..I just finalized having a weird dream that I think involved my ex, and usually I just sleep through just fine; but for some reason...I woke up and I felt really sad..and my stomach started doing flips like I had butterflies and I didn't know why...

 

However I do think it's because my mind was realizing the loss and the fact that he may never come back into my life at all...and the butterflies were just part of the shock.

 

I'm going through this now and I'm having slight panic waves (that gut feeling). I think its setting in that she'll never make an attempt to reach out to me and she's gone for good. I just can't help but get stuck on that fact that she could just brush me off like that with no effort.

 

She said I'm the best boyfriend she ever had and that she felt like she would never get over me should we ever break up. Now look at us now :( My NC resolve is shaky lately but I just want the bliss that is ignorance while I heal.

 

Blahhhh

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for some reason this week I have been feeling down and just terrible...

 

I don't know why..I was positive I was getting over him, but yet again the sadness is slowly creeping up on me..

 

I realized all the mistakes I made in the relationship (insecure towards the end, scared, became a little controlling,) and now know what I need to improve on my part, but as for him...he hasn't come back at all.

 

it has almost been 5 months since he and his new gf will have been together..

 

I am moving on with life, but sometimes I just get a bad feeling..a sad one.

 

I guess I just miss him, but I KNOW for a fact that him breaking up with me and getting with someone else very quickly after the BU proves to me that he isn't worth it. It's just hard to get over him, and even harder to believe all the hurtful things that took place after the BU...I never imagined he'd hurt me in such ways, but I guess those are his true colors?

 

I never sought revenge for what happened to me...I just backed off and ignored what he was saying/doing..it hurt, but I thought it would be a waste of time to try and fight back/stoop to his level.

 

I just needed to let this out haha...I find it better than keeping it locked up in my head..I'm just venting here.

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I've been having a terrible week after an awesome one last week. I had a dream about her last night and I'm blaming myself for everything. I'm replaying the few times where I thought I was in the wrong and blowing them up to be bigger than they really are. I never did anything major, but I made mistakes during the relationship and I'm feeling so terrible about them. Thinking, maybe if I did this or that differently, we would still be together.

 

My curiosity has also been killing me lately. I feel like I am one click away from checking her social media and ruining my entire spring break.

 

This should pass. We won't be miserable about them forever. right? :o

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I've been having a terrible week after an awesome one last week. I had a dream about her last night and I'm blaming myself for everything. I'm replaying the few times where I thought I was in the wrong and blowing them up to be bigger than they really are. I never did anything major, but I made mistakes during the relationship and I'm feeling so terrible about them. Thinking, maybe if I did this or that differently, we would still be together.

 

My curiosity has also been killing me lately. I feel like I am one click away from checking her social media and ruining my entire spring break.

 

This should pass. We won't be miserable about them forever. right? :o

 

 

we won't ;)

 

I just recently stopped having dreams about him haha...they were so strange..He would try to come back in my dreams, but as for me I was hesitant and wasn't sure if it was a good idea..

 

I guess that's just my subconscious telling me that he isn't the one...

 

I've been coming on here a lot more..trying to get rid of that temptation to check on him...

 

It's been working so far, but it's hard..

 

I might end up seeing him today unfortunately..

 

my sister has a competition for drumline and he is in the same group..I want to support my sister, but I'm scared his gf might be there supporting him, and I dont want to see that..

 

If it's just him...I can handle that...I just cant stand seeing them together..it makes me feel awful

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Truly sorry for what you have experienced. But it's time to change your perspective on this issue. Surrender and peace of mind comes when you no longer ask, why is this happening to me. Accept what is as if you have chosen it yourself. No I'm not telling you to like it but once you start accepting what he did and how he treated you, you will recover. Most of our pain over what someone has done to us is some form of non acceptance. What could be more insane than to create inner resistance to "what already is." The primary cause of your unhappiness is not the situation but your thoughts about it be aware of your thoughts and separate them from the situation. And know that letting him go is an act of far greater power than defending and hanging on. Life can be cruel and unfair but I promise you that if you look at this from a different perspective you will see that this experience will be most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness. I can already tell by reading some of your post that you are growing as a person, in due time you will come to this forum not with your own story but providing wonderful advice for others that need it because of this experience. It will pass in due time. In fact you will thank him for treating you like this I know it sounds insane but this will make you a better person just accept this pain and live in the present moment if you do that the past which no longer exist will not hurt you. If I didn't sense something special about you I would not have spent this much time writing this so my point is you have already convinced one person that your a cool special chick. Just think what the rest of the world is going to notice once you come out of this. Think about this forum that we are on its very possible that the person who created this had the same experience as you so again this is why I say this experience will be most helpful for you once your perspective has changed. How do I know that will be the case. Because this is the experience you are having at the moment. My last point when you start thinking about what he did just remember the present moment it's all you have in fact the present is all you will ever have its the only moment that you live in. The past has no power over the present! If you need to chat get at me;peace!

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I agree with what you say :)

 

And unfortunately he broke up with me...I have been coping with the loss now for almost 5 months. I'm trying to see him for who he really is and what he has changed to. It's been hard accepting this new side of him and realizing that I have to let him go in order to stop feeling pain and sadness

I do know what you mean. I've been there too and it's intensely painful. I can only say that a year or two down the line, you may be thankful you got out of it. I look back and I know he was wrong for me and we would have ended up in conflict all the time anyway, plus he wasn't really a nice guy. I could see that at the time but in a way I couldn't. Thankfully, other forces decided for me.

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Thank you very much you guys...I know I will look back on this and see it as a valuable lesson in life...it's just hard.

 

I am truly a lot better and I have learned a lot. Today I broke down and cried...I didn't know why either...I guess I'm just relasing the sadness..it will pass like it's always have :)

 

I've grown a lot stronger and I actually feel good that I have been able to stay single and show my independence to my ex when I'm faced to see him.

 

I don't show it just for him either, but for myself. That in reality I don't need a guy, but it would just be nice to have someone to share my life with :)

 

I have so much more that awaits me in life. I am young and realize there will be many guys I may fall in love with before I find the one :)

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Loving your attitude. Also don't feel bad about crying. My counselor told me to feel your feelings. If you're feeling sad, then let yourself feel sad! You lost someone close to you. You have every right to be upset, and it doesn't matter how long it's been.

 

When you don't need a guy and are happy with your single life is when you'll fall in love again. It always seems to happen that way. I couldn't have been more content with my life being single, and then my ex shows up and I learn how it feels to be "in love" with someone for the first time.

 

You are still young, but I know how you feel. It feels like this is the end of the world. We fell in love with someone and they aren't with us anymore so it feels like we lost our one chance at happiness. Everyone seems to know how ridiculous that is but us. Well I believe that if we work on our issues and enjoy life, good things will happen in the future. It may be an extremely optimistic outlook, but I think I have reasons to be optimistic. I learned from my first relationship and won't make the same mistakes in my next one.

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