GoldenFlower Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 Five years we dated off and on, but it was mostly on. We broke up in June of this year. I won't go into great detail, but the bottom line is after 2 days of vicious name calling, mud slinging and pretty much wishing a plague upon both our houses (just some humor), we both said it was over, finished done and don't call me if you get hit by a bus. HE SAID he never wanted to hear from me again and I said okay. Back in July (probably 2 weeks after) I text to say I missed him (stupid on my part) He never responded back so I took it as he meant what he said. I went through my share of denial, grief, anger the whole bit and FINALLY yes FINALLY life was going back to normal. I started taking some classes, made some new friends and starting living again. I felt happy and I rarely thought about him. I made a mistake and left my phone in my car Friday night so Saturday morning I got up and went and got it. Of course it was dead and as soon as it charged I turned it back on. Low and behold I check my text and there it is, his number and a simple text "how r u?" (Mind you I had erased his number, threw out every picture and got rid of anything that resembled him). At first I was like what the ____. I paced back and forth cause I could feel the anxiety and anger building in me. Then I had to decide do I answer or not. Finally after 2 hours I text back "fine and u?" Why did I do that I knew it was opening a can of worms for me. He replied and said he just wanted to know how I was. This enraged me but I held it in because I felt like HE was the one who said that he never wanted to hear from me so why in the heck would he care how I was doing. So I said that "you said you never wanted to hear from me again" He responded I thought I should respond from your last text..LMAO the one in July. Now I was really mad!! I left it there. Sunday I text and ask what his deal is and why is he concerned with me. He gives me some lame excuse about for all it's worth he did love me blah blah blah and he does care and that he was being "friendly". All I could think is you MF'er. I text back and told him to pretend I didn't exist. He replied but I deleted without opening. Now I'm pissed because after months of not having him on my mind he is constantly invading my thoughts and I feel like my progress has been lost. Not that I want to go back to crying, but I just can't stop replaying the arguments we had when we broke up. The name calling and all that crap. I just need someone to suggest how I start over blocking it all out again. I know I should have ignored the first text, but I guess my curiosity got the best of me and now I'm paying for it!! Link to post Share on other sites
0hpenelope Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 I think you should just let yourself be angry. It'll pass too. It's a good reminder of why you're not talking to him and why it's not a good idea to talk to him at all and why NC is a good choice for you in your situation. Your progress isn't lost. You don't give up your progress, you just keep going. Just carry on, ok? You're fine and well. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author GoldenFlower Posted October 15, 2012 Author Share Posted October 15, 2012 Thanks for your words cause I have been feeling really awful, thinking maybe I was being mean saying that to him. Link to post Share on other sites
0hpenelope Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 We say a lot of things out of anger and when we're hurt by a person. It's hard to choose the opposite - which is to stay silent, ignore, whatever - when you're really, really upset. You have regret because you don't like to hurt people's feelings, but you know... it's already done. Hopefully after this, he won't contact you anymore. Don't use it as a reason to contact him again to apologize or whatever, just let it be. Vent to your friends and cry a lot if you need to. Just not to him. Don't show him he bothers you, ok? Unless he escalates to something worse like stalking, don't show him he bothers you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author GoldenFlower Posted October 15, 2012 Author Share Posted October 15, 2012 I can't lie I did think about texting and apologizing but then I was like " girl are you crazy". I don't know his reasons for texting other then what he said and I will never know what the text I deleted said but oh well. The more I think of the things he said when we broke up the angrier I get all over again. Hopefully he won't text me again. I am trying to be forgiving but I don't think I will ever be able to be "friendly" with him. I've accepted the breakup but I'm not accepting of him thinking it's okay to contact me. Link to post Share on other sites
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