h-e-l-p Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 I really need help my Gf has broken up with me and Im doing the NC but im really feeling down and negative , Im smoking cigs (Which I had never done) started smokeing drugs just to not think of her crazy I know and I dont know what I need some Words of wisdom maybe??? Im struggling but feeling numb I really need a positive way of thinking , I keep dreading seeing her with another guy and there is so many thoughts about her running threw my head which I cant stop thinking about, My heart is broken does this ever go away the loving her do I ever stop thinking of her ?? Will I love again ?? Really need support just feeling low!!! Link to post Share on other sites
brokenheart415 Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 I'm in the same boat as you... the first few weeks is like a living nightmare... it does get better but it will take time, but time will go by faster if you spend it having fun with your friends... I'm in my 3rd month but in my 2nd month I was still crazy psycho cause I kept trying to contact her which in turn kept bringing me back to breakup day... if you have a close friend than you can blabber all you want to them they will listen, but they can't be there for you 24/7 so that's why they made this forum so you can post things... its alright to be sad and feel guilty, but know everything wasn't in your power, if you want the best possibility to get her back NC is the way to go, the stronger you can ride out the storm the better your chances. If she doesn't get back at least you get stronger in the process and you can enjoy it a lot more. Believe me I did all the begging and embarrassed myself. Link to post Share on other sites
brokenheart415 Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 I'm in the same boat as you, except she IS seeing someone and happened it right away... your best bet is to keep NC. I was suffering myself for almost over 2 months, trying to contact her and it just brought me back to day 1 of breakup. It will hurt the first few weeks, but trust me it will hurt more if you try to her or convince her. Talk to your friends, post your thoughts on this forum, go out and have fun even though your feeling sad, take time to improve yourself, cry the first few weeks but don't suffer. I've embarrassed myself begging and stalking, it does absolutely nothing except makes the situation worse to the point where she cut me off completely and reassured her why she broke up with me. It's really her loss, she left a person that really loved her. I'm still hurting, but not as much, and it's okay, things WILL get better. Link to post Share on other sites
Rosane Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 God, the feeling is bitter, I know. I just can't say anything positive yet because I can't shake this off. Have been like this for 5 months now and it still hurts like hell. Don't break no contact, though, unless you really are sure there's a good chance. I made the mistake of breaking NC about 3 weeks ago and was thrown back to those breakup days I had with him. Those days lingered and I should remember he wasn't good to me and those days were awful! But wtf, why can't i just move on? the wound only opens wider and wider. Everyone in this site must be fed up with my misery now. Just do not contact her. Link to post Share on other sites
Steelrain322 Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 Oh man! Stop smoking cigs! I started cuz of my ex too. It's not worth it! Once you start trying to quit smoking after a while you'll feel like **** and depressed if you don't have nicotine! Link to post Share on other sites
Steelrain322 Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 Oh and the pain does go away. I've been NC almost 17 months, broken up for almost 19. Devastated is an under statement if I were to describe my pain. I cried for atleast a year. But I made it out alive! You have to take care of yourself. Eat healthy, hydrate, exercise, think positively, go out and have fun. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 I really need help my Gf has broken up with me and Im doing the NC but im really feeling down and negative , Im smoking cigs (Which I had never done) started smokeing drugs just to not think of her crazy I know and I dont know what I need some Words of wisdom maybe??? Im struggling but feeling numb I really need a positive way of thinking , I keep dreading seeing her with another guy and there is so many thoughts about her running threw my head which I cant stop thinking about, My heart is broken does this ever go away the loving her do I ever stop thinking of her ?? Will I love again ?? Really need support just feeling low!!! You will survive....drugs are making it worse they dont help its a cycle of abuse that is why its called drug abuse.........you abuse your body and mind with the crap and for a while it makes you feel better until you need more and more and more...until you don't care anymore besides doing the drugs and the cycle begins it alters your perception and takes away true emotive capability then come the financial difficulties and the mood swings that push your family and friends away........ so when it comes to this point you are lonely alone and still feel like utter crap over the break up and it will take you a hell of a lot longer to get over everything you have to deal with...including addiction......first hardest step for you is getting rid of your addiction then the feelings from the break up....they take time....the longer you were with someone the longer they take to deal with........no contact with your ex is the best way to go ....rely on your friends and family talk to them see a counselor if you need to ....deal with the depression because it sounds like you are depressed.....and know you will have good and bad days....its just life.....you might have had a relationship break up doesn't mean that another relationship that si for you is not out there waiting to happen...have hope always in your heart....don't give up and fight.....fight for happiness and fight for love.....you will make it.....i am still kicking...dealing with depression....some really rough days...some really good ones....a lots of little things happen and things i see....brighten my day ...i always appreciate little things walking and exercise fresh air the beauty of gods green earth and the water......see fishers of squid brightens my day...lol...its the headlight on the hats thing.....find your place center yourself....and never give up..best wishes and the best of luck to ya..deb 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sarahbee Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 You will survive this, don't despair! I know it feels like you will never ever love again, and that nobody on this earth can replace your ex, and that you'll never feel whole again..I think we all know that awful empty gut wrenching feeling, that's why we're all here supporting each other. A lot of it is getting your heart to follow your head - you can rationalise it in your head and tell yourself that it wasn't meant to be, and that you'll find someone else, but until your heart starts to mend the words don't ring true. You really have to grieve, feel the pain, process it, and slowly but surely you'll see the sun again, believe me. Use this time to go within and ask yourself what you really want in a partner, so that you learn from the experience. It's easy to blame the other person, but it always takes two in any breakup, so have a look at the dynamic that may have led to this. There's no blame at all, just sometimes for whatever reason, two people can't make it work. Sometimes it's just about timing, previous heartbreaks (ie baggage!), or different life goals. It's not always personal, so don't take it as a huge rejection, that just makes the pain worse. You deserve someone who will make your life better, and you will find her! Don't give up, just take one day at a time, and be very kind to yourself right now. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
skydiveaddict Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 My heart is broken does this ever go away the loving her do I ever stop thinking of her ?? Yes, It goes away. Link to post Share on other sites
CopingGal Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 Everyone in this site must be fed up with my misery now. Just do not contact her. NO WAY! I don't think that at all. But always remember if anyone gets fed up with anyone else, they always have the power to iggie. But I don't believe anyone is fed up with you. Please keep posting. Keep posting. Please keep letting it out. Link to post Share on other sites
kae Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 it does go away.. but i helps if you work on improving yourself and not destroying yourself. Give yourself more love and work on your betterment. It serves as a distraction and when you look back with time you do indeed move forward.. which makes you feel even more confident. Cry, take up boxing sweat your aggression.. both these things help you in the present and long term. Get out of your head. Get out of your heart. Be present. But yes the pain is replaced by sadness and later acceptance. Once you come to terms with things.. the thought of everything becomes yet another disappointment you faced and so what! its the pink floyd comfortably numb stage.. when u get tired of the song.... u`ll laugh and it`s be over...hehe and then you`ll like another pink floyd song 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author h-e-l-p Posted October 16, 2012 Author Share Posted October 16, 2012 You guys are so positive towards me its unreal thank you!! Im going to hold on to NC although I nearly broke it today finding it very hard. I really do appreciate it , I really cant wait for the day I make it through all of this and laugh!!! If you have any more positive things that you know help the process of a broken heart please share them as it makes my days easier to bere. God bless you all Link to post Share on other sites
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