Jump to content

Help me communicate with my ex... please


ImUsingLipstick

Recommended Posts

ImUsingLipstick

[font=arial][/font]

Hello... I am new to the forum and am contacting strangers because I am confused. Here goes...

 

My ex and I have been estranged for 15 years. He has had very little to do with my son or myself. Our breakup was painful for both of us.

 

We have been in contact for the last couple of months and at first all seemed ok. I wanted him and my son to possibly establish a relationsip. Here is the problem... I am married and in love with my husband. He tells me that he is very happy in his life as well. I always make a point to wish him well, and his wife and his children as well. But, he cannot talk or communicate to me and mention my husband. He has never mentioned it although I have been upfront about everything. He refers to himself as my son's "real father", and tells me that he is afraid to talk to me on the phone because he doesn't want to hurt me with details about his life. I have tried to let him know that I will always acknowledge our past together and feel that we should not pretend anything. I am so happy for his happiness but feel that he hates me or my husband or maybe both, and I don't understand why. The worst part is that he doesn't even communicate about it.

 

He is out of patience and so am I. The painful thing is that, although I love my husband, I will always love him and this strife is hurting me. Why do you think that he is so defensive? Is it possible that he avoids the subject of my husband because it hurts him? Why is he so angry with me?

 

thanks for any response...

Link to post
Share on other sites

Why does it matter to you if you discuss your current situations? Have you made amends with your past together? If it makes him uncomfortable, I would leave it at talk only related to your child together. Maybe in time, you can have other discussions, but to tell you the truth, why even discuss your other relationships or past relationship with eachother in the firstplace? Especially if this is recently that you have been back in touch.

 

My Ex and I and my husband and his Ex don't discuss our present or past relationships with the other. We all have cordial relationships with eachother, but the conversations revolve mostly around the kids or small talk. No deep talks with the Ex'es about our new relationships or about our old ones..... :)

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...