lilyblue Posted July 13, 2012 Share Posted July 13, 2012 It's been awhile since I've posted, but just needing to get stuff out tonight I guess. It's been almost 10 months since my ex disappeared without a word, and I still just feel like I need to find a way to make him talk to me. We were such good friends... He's back with his ex and I assume part of their deal is that he has no contact with me, but I just can't shake the feeling of disrespect and hurt. I wish I could find some way to get resolution either from him or without him. Link to post Share on other sites
CopingGal Posted July 13, 2012 Share Posted July 13, 2012 This guy is scum. I doubt if he will give you the apology and the kind words you are looking for. It might do more harm than good to speak to him. You might disrupt 10 months of healing. Think about staying away from him. He's a low life bastard. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
PissOfMind Posted July 13, 2012 Share Posted July 13, 2012 (edited) I feel the same. My ex disappeared without a word. 7 months of strict NC have gone by ( in the meantime I only asked him to send me back my stuff, which he did- without a single word, obviously). I still wish he were decent enough to apologise but the thought of him being so unbelievably disrespectful to me stops me from making any contact with him. It wouldn't give me any closure anyway- I doubt if he considers his own actions wrong. I guess such people simply can't behave like grown up people and solve problems with the so called dignity- disappearing act is the easiest way, after all. No need to discuss things, and no "danger" of reaching some agreeement. Those guys wouldn't apologise to you because they apparently think there is nothing to apologise for. And even if they did- it'd be probably insincere and would again generate more questions than answers. And apart from that, would you really feel like talking to someone like him anymore? I wouldn't and I don't. He has already shown how much he can offer you. I struggle with anger, that's true, but I'm also focusing on positive things and people in my life. He'd be probably satisfied if I kept on begging him to talk to me. Yet, never in the last 7 months have I asked him to do so. No more ego boost! Edited July 13, 2012 by PissOfMind 1 Link to post Share on other sites
StarlaStardust Posted July 13, 2012 Share Posted July 13, 2012 Mine disappeared over 3 months ago. I am so glad I'm not the only one, but not really "glad," since it sucks immensely. My least favorite part of all this is that it was a great relationship, and he was amazing to me, and the way he decided to just "poof" and disappear kind of undermines all the positive memories I have for him. But, I don't let them. I surprise myself with how mature I'm able to be about this, lol. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lilyblue Posted July 14, 2012 Author Share Posted July 14, 2012 Thanks for all your replies. I'd kind of forgotten how nice it is to just get it out on here. I feel kind of ridiculous in real life at this point since it's been so long. This guy is scum. I doubt if he will give you the apology and the kind words you are looking for. It might do more harm than good to speak to him. You might disrupt 10 months of healing. Think about staying away from him. He's a low life bastard. I just wish I could get him to reply somehow. I don't think I've healed that much in the last 10 months that it would set me back. Sometimes I wish I could just be crazy enough to dive in and "harass" him until he talks to me. I feel the same. My ex disappeared without a word. 7 months of strict NC have gone by ( in the meantime I only asked him to send me back my stuff, which he did- without a single word, obviously). I still wish he were decent enough to apologise but the thought of him being so unbelievably disrespectful to me stops me from making any contact with him. It wouldn't give me any closure anyway- I doubt if he considers his own actions wrong. I guess such people simply can't behave like grown up people and solve problems with the so called dignity- disappearing act is the easiest way, after all. No need to discuss things, and no "danger" of reaching some agreeement. Those guys wouldn't apologise to you because they apparently think there is nothing to apologise for. And even if they did- it'd be probably insincere and would again generate more questions than answers. And apart from that, would you really feel like talking to someone like him anymore? I wouldn't and I don't. He has already shown how much he can offer you. I struggle with anger, that's true, but I'm also focusing on positive things and people in my life. He'd be probably satisfied if I kept on begging him to talk to me. Yet, never in the last 7 months have I asked him to do so. No more ego boost! Sorry this happened to you too. It's so hurtful and agonizing and frustrating. I totally agree that this was a result of immaturity and cowardice. I think he knows what he did was wrong however. He's not a total idiot, and is pretty sensitive... which is what probably prevented him from actually confronting the situation head on. I don't think it's about ego for him. I wish I could be like you and have no desire to talk to him! I still want to. Good for you for staying away since that does seem like the best thing to do in this situation. Mine disappeared over 3 months ago. I am so glad I'm not the only one, but not really "glad," since it sucks immensely. My least favorite part of all this is that it was a great relationship, and he was amazing to me, and the way he decided to just "poof" and disappear kind of undermines all the positive memories I have for him. But, I don't let them. I surprise myself with how mature I'm able to be about this, lol. Yeah, sometimes it just normalizes it to know you have company I guess. Nice job on the maturity Mine was very much a great relationship as well, no signs of anything and then, one day, back to the ex! Link to post Share on other sites
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