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Ex came back and then left again.


Troubles

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Long story short, last September me and my ex-girlfriend broke up. I am battling cancer and back then it was still very fresh too me and i did not know how to handle it well, so i pushed everyone away..it was a foolish decision but from that break up I learned that I need people around for a good support system..granted almost a year and a half later I am still holding on strong. After we broke up I went NC for about 3-4 weeks and then we kept minimum contact,

 

Once January came around I found out that she had been dating someone but didn't tell me, this turned me off alot and i felt betrayed as she would always tell me she still loved me and couldn't wait for us to get back together. A few days after I found out I told her I couldn't speak to her anymore, but I didn't tell her why (she kept her relationship on the low from me, i only found out because i happened to search her sister on facebook and found a pic of her and him together, they arent exclusive on facebook). So for the next two months then we didn't speak at all, but she did check my blog every single day to see what I was up too, thus i didn't post much. Once April came along she sent me an e-mail stating that she was in some trouble and didn't know what to do and needed my advice, now because she had always been there from me from the start from when I first found out I had cancer, I decided i'd reply and give her some advice..after that we emailed eachother monthly until June and all of my feelings rushed back that instant!

 

When June came along I decided I couldn't keep this in anymore and had to tell her I knew as it was making me ill at the thought of another man with her, and so I did. She said she was a coward and just didn't know how to tell me, that she was confused and still felt like we weren't completely over.

 

Now we haven't spoken since that day..it hurts and i almost feel dumb for replying back to that e-mail because now im itching to hear from her when i probably wont. It just sucks cause we didn't break up on bad terms, it was just that my illness got in the way, since oiur break up I have worked tremendously on myself and have gotten out there and enjoyed my life as I feel one day it may be my last.

 

She still checks my blog once or twice a day, not as frequently but im stuck here always wondering what she's up too?..what should i do? Does distance make the heart grow fonder? is she now trying to get past me? and can you really just forget about someone who you were a crucial part of their life?

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thats tough mate.

 

but from what you said > "She still checks my blog once or twice a day, not as frequently but im stuck here always wondering what she's up too?..what should i do? Does distance make the heart grow fonder? is she now trying to get past me? and can you really just forget about someone who you were a crucial part of their life?"

 

she's got easy access to your life, she cares about you and wonders what you are up to, all the while she is off sleeping with other guys or whatever. distance can make the heart grow fonder but we live in the 21st century, distance will make someone move on. its easier to forget someone if they are not about.

 

no she won't forget you but it won't be at the forefront of her mind. she will have distractions. you need to move on, or ask her for closure, you don't seem to know where you stand and you are in what i call limbo mode.

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So I should do strict NC and just move forward?? I guess I should..but it's hard when I don't know what's going through her mind, she kind of just stopped talking to me after I called her out that day...it sucks. Im also stuck on this cause i'm battling something that has shown me that life is too short, too short to have things left unspoken and to not know..is it right to just move forward without letting people know you care? i mean..with my circumstance? ....

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