Gulf-Delta Posted July 7, 2012 Share Posted July 7, 2012 Got up early today for flight training. My old weekend routine was to wake up, get dressed, kiss my ex goodbye as she slept, and leave. The overall vibe of the morning reminded me of that. The other part of our weekend routine would be me calling her and tell her the flight went well and I landed safely. I'd usually surprise her with coffee and donuts on the way home...coming home from the airport, and my ex would be up looking amazing, and doing her makeup and listening to music....if I dind't stop for coffee we'd plan out where to go to lunch and maybe go to the mall. This was my routine for a long time, and for some reason, today just triggered all the memories of my old weekend routine and how much I miss her. As if things weren't bad enough, EVERY SINGLE SONG on the radio on the way home (keep in mind I was already in a bad way, because of the memories/routine of telling my ex I made it home okay, and the coffee/donuts thing) was either about lost love, or was a song we used to listen to together...one song was even a song she sang at kareoke (she was a singer). I mean jeez, can't I catch a break?! I mean, I know tomorrow I'll be okay, and I'm very tired right now (me being tired seems to amplify the sadness), but man... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Appleness Posted July 7, 2012 Share Posted July 7, 2012 Wow Gulf-Delta, Pray tell, at what age do men finally evolve to calling when they land to tell you they're ok and plan dates for weekends because I swear, I'm looking in the wrong age group. Seriously though, I feel for you. I too had grown to plan my days and weeks around my ex's activities too up until the split. If you're the kind of guy that kisses good-bye when you leave for work and wants to plan ahead to spend time for the weekend, trust me: it's her loss because I'm kinda jealous just hearing that stuff like this exists. Keep your chin up and concentrate on your training. I think sooner or later you'll be happy to be able to sleep an extra couple minutes in the mornings and have all your free time back on the weekend. By the way, stay away from country songs. Link to post Share on other sites
hypersonic Posted July 7, 2012 Share Posted July 7, 2012 What helped for me was to change my routine as much as I could. It still sucks to come home to an empty house but whaddya do? Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Scorpio Posted July 7, 2012 Share Posted July 7, 2012 I mean, I know tomorrow I'll be okay, and I'm very tired right now (me being tired seems to amplify the sadness), but man... Focus on that. For a lot of people in the coping forum, that won't be the case. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SerCay Posted July 7, 2012 Share Posted July 7, 2012 Got up early today for flight training. My old weekend routine was to wake up, get dressed, kiss my ex goodbye as she slept, and leave. The overall vibe of the morning reminded me of that. The other part of our weekend routine would be me calling her and tell her the flight went well and I landed safely. I'd usually surprise her with coffee and donuts on the way home...coming home from the airport, and my ex would be up looking amazing, and doing her makeup and listening to music....if I dind't stop for coffee we'd plan out where to go to lunch and maybe go to the mall. This was my routine for a long time, and for some reason, today just triggered all the memories of my old weekend routine and how much I miss her. As if things weren't bad enough, EVERY SINGLE SONG on the radio on the way home (keep in mind I was already in a bad way, because of the memories/routine of telling my ex I made it home okay, and the coffee/donuts thing) was either about lost love, or was a song we used to listen to together...one song was even a song she sang at kareoke (she was a singer). I mean jeez, can't I catch a break?! I mean, I know tomorrow I'll be okay, and I'm very tired right now (me being tired seems to amplify the sadness), but man... I feel you Gulf-Delta..Weekends and free time is the hardest..because we used to have a routine with our exes..now it's becoming a routine with ourselves..See the other thread in here ''saturdays suck''.. We all suffer the same disease lol.. Yeah focus on tomorrow Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gulf-Delta Posted July 8, 2012 Author Share Posted July 8, 2012 Wow Gulf-Delta, Pray tell, at what age do men finally evolve to calling when they land to tell you they're ok and plan dates for weekends because I swear, I'm looking in the wrong age group. Seriously though, I feel for you. I too had grown to plan my days and weeks around my ex's activities too up until the split. If you're the kind of guy that kisses good-bye when you leave for work and wants to plan ahead to spend time for the weekend, trust me: it's her loss because I'm kinda jealous just hearing that stuff like this exists. Keep your chin up and concentrate on your training. I think sooner or later you'll be happy to be able to sleep an extra couple minutes in the mornings and have all your free time back on the weekend. By the way, stay away from country songs. Her loss indeed. She gave up the only guy who was worth it and who would put up with her crap....her loss indeed. Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 Gulf Delta- Where do I find men like you, who actually want a relationship? It is seriously difficult just trying to find one and I'm getting jaded. Your ex must be an idiot. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gulf-Delta Posted July 8, 2012 Author Share Posted July 8, 2012 (edited) Gulf Delta- Where do I find men like you, who actually want a relationship? It is seriously difficult just trying to find one and I'm getting jaded. Your ex must be an idiot. Thanks, that's very sweet. I don't know what my ex's problem is...and I probably never will. I treated her the way she should be treated because I wanted to marry her. I'm a hopeless romantic I guess. She was a good women who deserved the best, so I treated her like she was a princess, because I loved her. I don't fall easily...she's the only girl I ever met who I thought had potential to be my wife and start a family with, she was special, so I made sure she knew....and she appreciated me and returned every bit of my love, really. She made me feel great too, and treated me like a wife should treat a husband. We were blissfully, perfectly in love for two years. Mutual love and respect...until she just stopped. Don't know why. Never got an answer. I figured after the breakup, the bond we shared would carry over into a friendship. I kinda figured we stay close, and have one of those "cosmic" friendships, I call them. Where you may not have worked out as a couple, but still love and respect each other....where you still know each other better than anyone else, and can still confide in each other, etc. I was wrong. Whether she's just running from the fact she still loves me, or she hates me, or is just confused about what is important one thing is certain. She ignores me, she has shifted to a new life, and AFAIK is dating someone else...who BTW she told me she doesn't love, he's just "different". It sucks, and the reason I still hold on is because she was a stellar person once (a remarkable, one-of-a-kind person...she exceeded every expectation of what I thought a girlfirend/fiancee/wife or even a person could be), and I still believe that person is still there somewhere. I'm probably wrong, but as I said, I'm a hopeless romantic. I'll always love her. She's one of the most honest people I've ever met. She NEVER lied to me, ever. So when she said the day I proposed was the best day of her life, or I am the greatest guy on Earth, I know she was being sincere...and I know those kind of feeling don't just go away so fast. I've been out on the town, talking to other girls, flirting, etc. But after talking to these girls, it reminds me how great my ex was. These girls have no substance to me. They're beautiful, and nice enough, but talking to them just makes me realize why I was drawn to, and fell for my ex. They aren't bad people, and I'm sure these girls are some guy's dream, but not for me. My dream girl was my ex. I don't just fall for women. I lust hard, I'm just like that...but for me to fall in love with a girl, or even be interested in anything beyond the phyisical, she has to just fit...she really has to be special. And my ex really was. That's why I can't let go. That's why I still pray about her. Her family loved me. Because I treated her well. Her family feels the same way I do. "Why did you leave him?" When I asked her mother's permission to propose she said "Gulf, we'd be HONORED to have you as part of our family". No one understands why she is doing what she's doing. The tihng is, as much as I love her, she has issues. But I don't care...when you love someone, you're willing to accept all their faults, and work through them with them, and I realized, because I'm in it for the long haul, I'll accept her "For better or worse, sickness and health"...chances are, there is no other guys out there who will put up with her for very long. She's bad with money, incredibly impulsive to a fault, yet incredibly indecisive. She has self-esteem problems...everyone who saw us together said "Man, you're perfet for her, because I don't think I'd be able to take all that" Sorry to get off topic, I'm just feeling kinda low right now. Edited July 8, 2012 by Gulf-Delta Link to post Share on other sites
hypersonic Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 Gulf, it sounds like you and I feel similarly about our ex's. This is worth what you paid for it but here's what I've realized. My ex and I seemed so perfect for each other and I truly felt like the luckiest person on this earth. She could be so thoughtful, loving and considerate and we fit together so well. My weaknesses were areas of strength for her and vice versa. But somewhere she started changing and became withdrawn and totally apathetic towards me. I didn't deal well with the situation and had my own issues but that's another story. I miss the person she COULD be and USED to be, and to make it harder I still catch glimpses of that person when she drops her guard. It sounds like that's who you're missing, not who your ex is now but who she used to be... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gulf-Delta Posted July 8, 2012 Author Share Posted July 8, 2012 Gulf, it sounds like you and I feel similarly about our ex's. This is worth what you paid for it but here's what I've realized. My ex and I seemed so perfect for each other and I truly felt like the luckiest person on this earth. She could be so thoughtful, loving and considerate and we fit together so well. My weaknesses were areas of strength for her and vice versa. But somewhere she started changing and became withdrawn and totally apathetic towards me. I didn't deal well with the situation and had my own issues but that's another story. I miss the person she COULD be and USED to be, and to make it harder I still catch glimpses of that person when she drops her guard. It sounds like that's who you're missing, not who your ex is now but who she used to be... That's exactly it. It's not like I "fell for" some :tricks" she was pulling for two years and was decieved or something. She even said herself that only I know "the real her". I miss so much who she was once...but have no desire to be involved with whoever she's become in this admitted "phase"...and I certainly do not believe this "new" version of her is permanent either....Leopards don't change their spots and such... Link to post Share on other sites
The Aviator Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 Hi Gulf, Nice to meet another flyer on these forums who has been through hell. Just wondering how far in your flight training you are and what your ambitions are? I think we are both in a great position to focus our energy on something other than women...i.e. flying! Aviator Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gulf-Delta Posted July 8, 2012 Author Share Posted July 8, 2012 Hi Gulf, Nice to meet another flyer on these forums who has been through hell. Just wondering how far in your flight training you are and what your ambitions are? I think we are both in a great position to focus our energy on something other than women...i.e. flying! Aviator 65 hrs or so. Still in PPL...the ultimate goal being CPL/CFI -------------------------------- Anyway, bad day part 2...heard the U2 song "One" and I just cried...I really thought I was past the crying phase Like the whole "One but not the same, we need to carry each other"....pretty much sums up everything.... *sigh* Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 Gulf- She couldn't have been that great if she was willing to throw it away. I never understand that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gulf-Delta Posted July 8, 2012 Author Share Posted July 8, 2012 Gulf- She couldn't have been that great if she was willing to throw it away. I never understand that. Well, either her treating me perfectly for two years was legitimate, or it was a lie. I find it very hard for someone to "pretend" being someone they aren't for 3+ years. Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 I don't know. After a year with my ex he basically said he never cared about me at all. Yet he stringed me along and lied and faked that whole time. Link to post Share on other sites
hypersonic Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 Gulf Did she have any history of depression or anything like that? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gulf-Delta Posted July 9, 2012 Author Share Posted July 9, 2012 (edited) Gulf Did she have any history of depression or anything like that? No, she's just VERY impulsive and had a very strict upbringing. Her mom was a single mother with two daughters, and so her mom always had this fear/paranoia of kidnappings and all that stuff. Until she finally moved out, my ex (or her her sister for that matter) wasn't even aloud to leave the yard or street as a kid....her sheltered upbringing is probably playing a role in her desire to act like a teenager...because she never had that chance. I really think it was just my ex's impulsiveness getting the best of her. Edited July 9, 2012 by Gulf-Delta Link to post Share on other sites
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