Reddice Posted May 15, 2012 Share Posted May 15, 2012 So, just over 3 months have passed since the break up. I've been on NC for well over 2 months. Just about two weeks ago I posted a thread here, explaining how my mother ran into my ex in the street. She was holding hands with the moron she replaced me for. And then yesterday... I ran into them myself. They were walking on the other side of the road. I almost missed them somehow. I guess she did not see me, as I did not notice her even looking in my direction. They were walking hand in hand and she seemed to be having fun talking with him. Though I know that this moment was inevitable, I was in shock for a while. I just stood there, watching them walk. It's hard to describe my exact feelings at that moment, but I felt an anger building up inside me which I have not been able to let go since. I just hate to see her happy while I'm constantly feeling like crap. I really wanted to go up to them and punch the guy in the mouth. In fact, I'm still thinking of doing so if I run into either of them again. Everyone keeps telling me it's a bad idea... I don't know, perhaps it is. I don't want to be some kind of crazy ex, but I feel totally disrespected. Certainly after I gave her the easiest breakup possible. Considering the situation, I think I handled everything well. I didn't speak ill of her, didn't stalk, didn't threaten, insult or anything else. Still, I feel like whatever I do, there is no way to come out as the bigger person. Either I lose my self respect, or I lose my temper. I just don't know which option is worse. Link to post Share on other sites
crazylove Posted May 15, 2012 Share Posted May 15, 2012 ...But you just did come out as the bigger person for not reacting physically when u saw them. It was always going to hurt, but it's how you move forward from here that counts. She's moved on, so you have to move on. It might even help you in the long term having seen them together. Sure it hurts, and creates feelings of anger, but if means that you've seen it for youself, and ultimately that you can now free yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Starman8 Posted May 15, 2012 Share Posted May 15, 2012 Sorry to hear that, I had the same experience. I saw my ex 1 month after the breakup with another guy. This was after she broke up with me by email, telling me she needed to work on herself and couldn't be in a relationship for awhile. I was just as hurt and angry as you are, but I kept my composure. I was really angry for a couple months afterwards, but have moved on for the most part. I still think about it from time to time and feel anger, but it passes pretty quickly. Reacting in anger would've only justified her breaking up with you in her mind. The only way to win is to treat yourself well and to get to a point where it doesn't matter that she's not with you anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Reddice Posted May 15, 2012 Author Share Posted May 15, 2012 I was doing pretty well for a short while. I started having fun again, met new people, met new girls and even started dating. I could swear I would never take her back under any cicumstances. I was incredibly happy with how fast I was progressing in such a short amount of time. Then... about two weeks ago, she popped back up in my head. She has stuck there since. Last weekend was horrible for me. Friday night/saturday morning, after being out with friends, I broke down completely on the way home. A 20 minute walk home took me about hour and a half. It was almost as bad as just after the break-up and I had to cry myself to sleep. Saturday and Sunday were better, but I still cried a lot. I felt and still feel like a complete wimp. Then yesterday, after seeing her with the other guy, I felt like something was about to snap inside of me. On the one hand, I'm happy I could control myself. On the other hand... I really wanted to let go of this anger. I want to come out a winner out all of this, but I feel like no matter what I do, I will lose. I even fear that I will lose in the long run... That she will always be happier than me and that she will become more succesful than me. Sucks like hell. Link to post Share on other sites
Mcnulty Posted May 15, 2012 Share Posted May 15, 2012 Table turn and turn and turn...you will see that in the future. Well done for keeping cool when you saw them...god I've been dreading that day. Similiar to you, she replaced me immediately with my friend, i showed no anger, didn't even contact her to blast her and for 6 months i've been waiting to see them together. But weirdly, I saw him the other night in a bar, i shat myself, thinking, this is it, she's here with him, (i haven't looked her in the eye since she chucked me) she wasn't there, he was with another woman! WTF?? Then today, she was sat in her car, me coming towards her and our eyes locked in shock...can't stop thinking about it ever since. My point is, I don't believe in karma, but tables do turn...mine may well be either dumped by her guy or he is two timing her...maybe she's getting her come-uppance. Give it time my friend and hold your head high, you will feel better given time, nothing else now. Link to post Share on other sites
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