Dillema

[Neil1234]

Firstly I would like to mention that I am not used to posting my inner most feelings on the internet like this, however I do feel some impartial anonymous advice would be fantastic at the moment.

A little background I am currently living away from my home country initially was travelling but have now settled. When I set off I was still with my partner of three years.Things had been going downhill for sometime and I think we were both in a place where we wanted to mutually end the relationship but neither of us had the courage to bring it up. About 2 months ago (After living apart in separate cities due to work commitments) she called me up saying she wanted to split up. Rather than feeling remorse I felt relief. Around 2 weeks before we split up me and my housemate started getting on really well. She (my housemate) is amazing to get on with and we clicked straight away. As she is little younger and far more attractive than me I didn't really consider it a possibility that anything would ever happen, however after I split up with my ex and getting on like a house on fire we ended up kissing on the sofa after a night drinking. At first I considered this a one of thing but seemed to be quite a consistent thing over the following weeks and also snuggling up on the sofa together most nights. After a drunken night we ended up having sex. At this point I realised I had fallen for her in quite a big way (possibly too much). I brought this up with her and she said that she loved spending time together but thought it would possibly be a good idea to not jump into anything as I had just come out of a three year relationship and needed time to enjoy being single. The conversation ended with us taking a see how it goes situation. Over the following weeks we were still close and snuggling up on the sofa most nights. We also slept together on a couple more occasions. At this stage I will admit I had started to grow some pretty strong feelings. SHe was all I could think about through the day, when I got a text from her it would bring a smile to my face instantly. I did things for her that I never even did for my ex in the three years we were seeing each other. I even felt myself changing to try and suit what I thought she would want in a man (bad of me I now realise) Things seemed to be going well UNTIL one night she bumped into her ex that made her realise that her feelings for me were more leaning towards a friendship and that she felt she didn't have the right feeling that she should have. Whereas she didn't want to get back with him she also realised that it wouldnt be right to persue a relationship. this hurt as he had treated her horribly in the past and didn't really deserve her. However she did say that she wished she did have the right feelings because she knew it would be perfect. This being said we slept together again once more. After a conversation following this she said she was scared of hurting me as her general relationship pattern involves her getting with someone and then running a mile when the "Honeymoon" period of the relationship ended. From what I can gather she likes to be treated like she is the only girl in the world briefly gets bored and leaves them. Please bear in mind that this girl is stunning and gets a LOT of male attention. So I foolishly tried to convince her (as I really do believe it could be perfect as we are so similar in personality - she is like a female version of me) that it could work if she would give it a chance. Unfortunately after a few weeks she said to me that she definitely only had friendly feelings (she thought). I asked if I had fallen victim to her usual relationship cycle - She said no she genuinely wanted it to work. Now she is seeing someone that is not in the slightest suited to her but has put in a lot of effort to try and woo her. I really can't see this relationship going anywhere but she does seem to have got quite attached. So now I am in a position whereby I really want to keep her as a friend but a part of me will always want it to be more than friends. Since I have not seen her for a little while I have put a lot of effort into self improvement which has been quite beneficial to me. I know I can put my feelings aside to maintain the friendship.....but I can't help but feeling it was the changing myself to suit her (breaking rule one of how to impress a girl), and her obvious fear of commitment that may have been the deciding factor in her decision to not pursue a relationship..... We both know it would be amazing and I don't understand why you would sleep with someone to try and make yourself like someone (Perhaps this is a girl thing). Advice would be most appreciated.