ScienceGal Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 So I woke up this morning in a bit of a funk. Drempt about the ex and that he came to apologize and was saying everything I had ever hoped he'd say (oh, the agony!) In real life though... I have an email from another ex. We split a few years ago, due to our age difference and the fact that we were never going to be in the same point in life at the same time. It was sad, but we talked it out and it was a peaceful separation. I moved out of my apartment recently (he had lived there with me for a while). He commented on my Facebook post about finally moving. I commented "After so many years! I am so happy to be out of there!". That was a few days ago. This morning I have an email that says "Well Congrats, I know you had wanted to get out of there for a while. How is your summer going?" I feel like I could be friends with this ex from the past, but not sure what angle he might be pulling and how I should respond. I have no interest in rekindling anything with him. Also, I am fairly certain that he knows about my split from my most recent ex, but I am not going to bring it up. What to do? Link to post Share on other sites
antinko Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 Hm, I'd give it a few days, long enough so he knows he's not a priority, and then politely respond. Don't include any questions etc. Just keep it polite and business like. He'll get the message. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ScienceGal Posted August 17, 2011 Author Share Posted August 17, 2011 Good idea. I already decided not to pose any questions back to him. Mainly, I don't want him to step in and try to be a shoulder for me to cry on, because I know he would do this for me. I need to resist the urge to let him back into my life unless he is looking for just friendship. Seems like tricky territory though. It sucks going home every night and being alone though. I feel pretty numb or so-so most of the time, but never really happy. It's sad, but quiet and predictable. My social life has been completely crushed and I need to make new connections somehow. Link to post Share on other sites
wilsonx Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 Just ignore it. Have you looked into meetup.com ? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ScienceGal Posted August 17, 2011 Author Share Posted August 17, 2011 Just ignore it. Have you looked into meetup.com ? Yes, there are some groups within 30 minutes of me. Unfortunately, the ones I am interested in all seem to be made up of primarily older men and women. Not that I have anything against that, I just want to make connections with people my age. But, I will look again. Maybe I could even try to start up a group in my area. Link to post Share on other sites
FinOuch Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 Personally, I wouldn't ignore him unless he was a total jerk when breaking up...or if I suspected it would mess things up in any current relationship he may be in. Yes, it will be tricky territory simply because you can't read minds, and thus wouldn't really be able to decipher his intentions. The only thing you do have insight into is yourself, so the best you could do is to be just a little bit more distance and formal towards him than you would other guy friends...just to be certain that your intentions stay clear. But I don't really see anything wrong with allowing a friendship with an ex develop, provided that you act accordingly and aren't fooling yourself as to what your true interest in him is. Link to post Share on other sites
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