Fighting to maintain NC

[Diatribes]

It's been one month since she left and one week since the last contact. Mornings are the worst. I still miss her tremendously and want her back in my life. I know that I shouldn't though, especially not on my terms. She left me for her ex and if she wanted me back she'd be trying to get me back. My last email to her was standoffish, while hers was friendly towards me. I feel that I should email her so she doesn't think I'm being a pr1ck. If she wanted to come back to me and was apologetic and was willing to work on us, I don't know what my reaction would be. While I still miss her, I have a lot of resentment towards her for many reasons, which I've posted in previous threads. I also know that NC tends to make a dumper miss the dumpee. I'm really confused. I'd do anything to have her back in my life, but I don't want to appear desperate nor do I want to pursue this if it's not going to happen.

 

On the bright side, I don't feel nearly as miserable as I did one month ago, even though my feelings regarding her haven't changed much.

 

Someone halp me! Whether it's advice on how to get her back or a slap to wake me up, any feedback is appreciated.

[smudge21]

Very similar circumstances to my break up so I'll offer some advice that may help, but don't expect miracles.

 

I would say stay NC and focus on you and you alone. Follow the NC guidelines posted elsewhere. The reason being is that you've had a final contact, she's replied and gone back with her ex. Leave her to it. Any contact from you now will only end up hurting you more.

 

Put it this way - say you send a long email... and you get no response. You then hate yourself for sending the email and wish you could take it back. Too late. I've made that mistake and also broken NC recently only to feel even worse than I did the first time.

 

Any contact from you now will appear desperate no matter what is said. I know it's tough to stay NC but you have to do it. I'd give anything to go back and convince myself to stay NC so I wouldn't feel like I do now.

[ConfusedT]

i got left for his ex too. i blame him, but i blame her too! she never left him alone for our entire relationship.. she begged him the entire time we were together, promising him the world and god knows what else.. sad, but truth is, if he/she wanted to be with us, they would.

 

i am on day 7 too, no contact, but the last thing he said to me was soooo disrespectful and so hurtful that i havent looked back. i wanted to text/call/talk SO BAD trust me, but i did everything i could in this relationship, i was as good as i could be to someone

 

and he dogged me from every angle. cheated, lied, etc.. doesn't change how much i loved him, but its starting to change how much i dont want to be with him.

 

time heals everything, but only if you let it. dont be held down by these emotions, there is someone out there for everywhere, jus let love find you!

 

we're all here going though the same thing.

 

[lymtal1]

So a good friend told me something that I keep going back to with this N/C thing. If she wanted to be in my life there would be nothing and he meant nothing that would stop her from finding me. She can't find me in any possible way now, it's like I fell off the earth.

 

My plan is that the last time I saw and spoke to her will be the last time in my life I will have contact with her unless somehow she comes back to ME and tells me that she wants to begin a new relationship, work on our past issues and is ready to make a committment. Less than that will not make me blink my eyes. And then in reality I probably would not do it given the circumstances.

 

She has not tried as of yet so what does that tell you?

[Diatribes]

One thing I do know about this girl is persistence pays. I feel like if I act like I don't care and remain NC too long, she'll think I'm disinterested and not miss me or anything. Her ex was persistent with his contact with her after she moved in with me, and she's right back with him. I have to admit, I've been using NC to get her to miss me.

 

On the other hand, I'm resentful of the way she put hardly any effort into us as a couple. I think she lied to me and her staying in contact with her ex was unfair to me, a luxury she now grants her boyfriend.

 

As time goes by, I do feel somewhat better. Ups and downs, still on a roller coaster. While I'm torn between feeling glad it ended before it got even more serious, I really had a lot in common with this woman and our good times far outnumbered the bad, and I want those good times back.

 

I'm confused....

[Diatribes]

Just remembered something earlier. I was trying to change my ex's ringtone, and every time I called her to check it, all that was played was this horrible noise. I thought her phone was messed up, until I checked the ringtone set to my number. Lo and behold, she had set that ringtone for me, personally. In retrospect, that was an extremely f*cked up thing to do. Something you would do to someone you didn't like. This I found out about 4 days before we got into the fight which resulted in her leaving. I think she had quit liking me long before she left, and claiming it was the fight the day before she left the reason why. Putting this ringtone to my number really makes me p*ssed off. And thinking of the other things she said and did, this girl was stringing me along. I was probably just a tool to get her boyfriend to treat her better. And she did all this tagging her kid along, just for her own means to an end. Mother of the year, anyone? And the guy she was doing this for is a daily drinking alcoholic that had sex with her once a month.

 

Good riddance to b!tches like this. No longer want anything to do with her. I can do FAR better than a girl like this who has a kid and no job. My infatuation and obsession is over.

[Nohbody]

Good work!

 

Now, if you suddenly realize you AREN'T completely over her, feel free to come back and post.

 

Good luck!