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broken-and-lost

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broken-and-lost

Hi guys

 

well i find myself having to turn to you guys again, i broke up with my girlfriend about 8 months ago not going to go into the whole story again it was messy it hurt i wasn't well she left the usual stuff really.

 

I been getting on with my life best i can and i've been feeling a lot better i have my week/days same as anyone else but in general i've felt like i've been on top of the situation trying to put her and the past behind me.

 

I went to work yesterday as normal but i was called into office by my bosses and told my work over the past 6-8 months hasn't been good and my concentration levels have been really bad since my difficult break up there are aware that i'd been to counselling and that i had a very messy and difficult break up. They have basically told me they want me to go on sick long term to sort myself out and get m head straight i'm a bit taken back as i thought i was and now i'm worried i haven't been moving on at all and i'm not sure what to do i don't want to lose my job over this and i truly believe i was getting better.

 

I don't know what to do should i contact my ex and try to sort through underlying issues do i continue with NC should i just take the break and try to use the time constructively i'm a bit scared i haven't moved on and that it's going to cost me my job.

 

I was feeling ok until yesterday ok bit down at times but in general i thought i was moving on feeling a bit lost today

 

 

really would appreciate some thoughts and help :sick:

 

 

thanks

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I am sorry you are having issues at work. Do not contact her , just think about yourself now Ok ?

 

Get professionel help , there is nothing wrong with that. I am ! and I know it will help me a lot.

 

Don't give up your future for that girl. Work is a struggle for me too but otherwise I will just end up worse.

 

Take the leave and just work on getting better. Go on a holiday , and just be good to yourself. Do not contact her.Tell your managers that you are thankful for their concerns and promise to work on yourself. You got the job because they thought you were good and you will even get better after this.

 

Good luck

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Yeah, stay NC - trust me that any contact now will only destroy everything you've done over the last 8 months.

 

Be glad that your work actually seem to care - I know some places would've asked you to leave or forced you out in other ways. They're offering support in a way they can, so take this time and go get the support you need.

 

Don't consider this a set back, just another step on your journey of healing.

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broken-and-lost

Thanks guys i know i should appreciate the fact they have seen a big change in me and that they are concerned, i probably do need a break. Just taken me back again as i thought i was generally in a much better place, hadn't noticed the slip in my work to the extent it was explained to me.

 

I know your right about contacting her as it's not going to resolve anything. i was just worried that it must still be unresolved if it's effecting my work without me even noticing it.

 

i've struggled to pull myself out of the mud and was just hoping to get my head down and plow through so this has taken me by surprise that people still think i'm not in a good way when i don't feel like that myself as such apart from the usual good and bad days. i sure as hell don't want it to effect my work this way.

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After what happened to me yesterday, trust me, if you think you're not healed, then you're not healed. Don't go breaking NC for any reason.

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broken-and-lost
After what happened to me yesterday, trust me, if you think you're not healed, then you're not healed. Don't go breaking NC for any reason.

 

that doesn't sound good

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broken-and-lost
Hurt like hell mate. Thought I was okay too. Go read my Hope thread somewhere in the Coping area.

 

will do m8 why does this stuff suck so much and hurt so bad for so many people

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why does this stuff suck so much and hurt so bad for so many people

 

... because we care, sometimes a little too much and sometimes for the wrong people...

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broken-and-lost

well it's day two of my sabbatical shall we call it that !!!!!! went to the gym went swimming and about to go for a run, i'm really not too sure what it is i'm meant to be doing as such, have another appointment with the doctor to discuss my works concerns and see what she suggests.

 

feel really odd not working i'm so use to throwing myself into my work even if i haven't been very good at it lately it's what kept me going in a strange way and now i'm at a bit of a loss.

 

I'm looking at booking myself a holiday somewhere don't really care where i end up at this point summer here has been crap rain and more rain british summers really suck............

 

I'm trying to think of constructive things to do i think it's my mind that needs the clean up i did hypno therapy when i went through this crap months ago it helped a lot but i've moved past that stage so don't really won't to be doing that again

 

Anyone got any good ideas?? at the moment i'm basically being paid to go to the gym :eek:

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analystfromhell

Hire a personal trainer and get INSANELY buff? Just don't allow yourself the luxury of sulking or feeling bad.

 

Do an image transformation. Most of us in the US would KILL for that opportunity. Maybe hit the school books through an open university or take up with some volunteer group and help Cameron "transform" things? Alternately, the south of France is awesome this time of year and just a few short hours of trainride away, the Edinbourgh Fringe is on (talk about fun!).

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Hire a personal trainer and get INSANELY buff? Just don't allow yourself the luxury of sulking or feeling bad.

 

Do an image transformation. Most of us in the US would KILL for that opportunity. Maybe hit the school books through an open university or take up with some volunteer group and help Cameron "transform" things? Alternately, the south of France is awesome this time of year and just a few short hours of trainride away, the Edinbourgh Fringe is on (talk about fun!).

 

All very good ideas analystfromhell i recently completed a Masters inbetween all this madness hell knows how though, so the eduction route is done for the time being, i do like the idea of volunteering and south of france hmmm that would be cool. Edinbourgh Fringe lol anything with the word Fringe in sounds wrong :)

 

 

Keep them coming people :) analystfromhell thanks that's really given me so ideas and lifted my day a bit after a long run and the getting buff is defo on my list hence the gym swimming and run today that wasted a good 7 hours of my day :)

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There's got to be a ton of things that you've thought about doing whilst at work - those conversations that usually start with "I'd rather be..." or "if I won the lottery...". You're being paid to do whatever it is you want or need to do. Whether that ranges from sitting in a coffee shop reading a good book, renting a whole host of films or games to work through, getting on a bike and riding until you realise you have no idea where you are... basically, this time is your time. Use it wisely and make the most of it.

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broken-and-lost
There's got to be a ton of things that you've thought about doing whilst at work - those conversations that usually start with "I'd rather be..." or "if I won the lottery...". You're being paid to do whatever it is you want or need to do. Whether that ranges from sitting in a coffee shop reading a good book, renting a whole host of films or games to work through, getting on a bike and riding until you realise you have no idea where you are... basically, this time is your time. Use it wisely and make the most of it.

 

Cheers m8, i am going to try and be as productive as possible with the time and try to sort out what ever it is that's still in some way holding me back, i just worry about the effects on my work when i return don't want to be seen as some messed up phycological mess and not regarded in the same light again or maybe seen to be gotten rid of because of having to be sent on a break.

 

I know theres not much i can do in relation to work right now so i've got to concentrate on making the most of my time away to make sure when i return i'm in a stronger position i've already started working out running and i'm looking at holidays too i'm just a little scared there maybe no going back once this is done

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