Addison Posted November 19, 2003 Share Posted November 19, 2003 My boyfriend left me a little over two months ago. He moved out and within 2 weeks was "dating" this other girl. He swore to me that he still loved me though and that she meant nothing, it was just something to fill the empty time. I was crushed. I still am. We continued to occassionally date for the next month while he was dating her too. (she didn't know though) I hated sharing him but I felt like as long as I was still with him in some way that maybe he would remember why he loved me and wanna be with only me. Unfortunately it worked out the other way and he's officially with her now. And instead of trying to be friends, which is the hardest thing in the world, he has decided to hate me. He sends me horrible msgs and yells at me about how he wants me to just stay out of his life. But I do. I don't bother him at all unless he contacts me first. Somehow its always my fault though. And as if dealing with not having him in my life isn't enough, now I have to see them around town together and all I can think about is that not that long ago he was mine. We lived together and shared our lives... and now its all gone. Its just so hard to accept. And even worse is the thought that he hates me that much and doesn't even want me to talk to him. I tell myself that even if we are over for good, that he will eventually stop feeling such anger towards me. But I don't know anymore.... he's pretty cruel with some of the stuff he says. Link to post Share on other sites
RythmShifter Posted November 19, 2003 Share Posted November 19, 2003 I think the reason that guys (or maybe even girls too?) say hurtful things to those they have broken up with is so that both of you can move on to new people. Although you should never forget those that you have loved, there is always a time to move on. Over time thigns will begin to be ok. I promise. Link to post Share on other sites
GIZMO Posted November 20, 2003 Share Posted November 20, 2003 I think the reason he is being so mean to you is out of guilt... I say to stay strong and try to move ahead in your life. I can almost bet that your ex will get sick of his little toy ( the other girl ) and will come back to you with some sort of excuse of why he did what he did. I say to remember the pain you are feeling now and never look back at getting with him. If he is so wishy washy now, would you really want to be with a man that justs up and leaves you for another woman? Trust me, I feel your pain, I just got out of a 7 year relationship, he left me and is now dating my co worker! I just say its his stupid for not seeing what he has in front of him now.. Move ahead, there are alot of fish in the sea and the quicker you move past your ex, the sooner you will be with a man, not some childish little boy.. Take one day at a time and if you see them together just look at them and smile, do not give them the satisfaction of knowing how upset you really are.. Be strong and remember we are all here for you!!! Time does heal all pain, I myself am working on that.. Just try and stay away from him as much as you can. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Addison Posted November 20, 2003 Author Share Posted November 20, 2003 I know. You're both absolutely right. And I have been trying. Things feel like they are starting to get better, its just at those moments when it all hits me that it feels like it will never be ok. From experience, I know it gets better, its just hard to remember that though. Link to post Share on other sites
Leikela Posted November 20, 2003 Share Posted November 20, 2003 You said you never contact him until he contacts you first, right? Well, even when he does contact you first, don't respond. For instance, if he calls you, don't answer. If he writes you e-mail, don't respond. Just totally ignore him altogether. That will drive him crazy in return. In the meantime, work on building up your life and moving on. He's not worth it. The fact that he can be so mean is an indicator of the type of person he can be at times. Do you really want to be around someone capable of behaving that way? It sounds to me like he needs to grow up. Link to post Share on other sites
lostforwords Posted November 20, 2003 Share Posted November 20, 2003 Time does heal.... and trust me soon you will be able to see him as it does get easier to COPE with the pain...... yes there still may be pain but as time goes on your coping mechanisms will get stronger to the point it just may not have any affect whatso ever to see him with her..... as for him being a "Dog" with how he is treating you..... that in itself should show you how his true colors really are...... perhaps it may be easier for him to treat you that way shouldnt mean you need to accept it from him...... i would stand your ground with him, make it hard for him to contact you etc...... maybe once he sees he cant treat you like that anymore he just may stop...... however id also make him feel what the hell did you see in him in the first place....... show how disinterested you are with him.... perhaps he may just get the picture.... and start treating you with the respect you need and deserve. Link to post Share on other sites
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