melenkurion Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 I uncovered the affair properly in October. I know for sure it was well underway by mid June. The full tale of woe is here. The funny thing is, as this anniversary approaches, I feel OK with it. See, this time last year I felt thoroughly miserable. I was sick of the sight of the Other Guy, who was at our place every weekend and in the week as well. I felt like my own home was no longer a refuge for me, I was constantly in host mode to someone I know longer even liked that much. My partner was pretty vile to me: the criticisms intensified, every little thing I did was wrong, even down to my breathing too loudly. He was distracted, secretive, and constantly on his myPhone tippy-tapping out messages to his ickle smoochikins. We'd stopped socialising with anyone other than OG. Looking back, I felt very isolated. This is the first time I can say for sure that I am happier now than I was a year ago. There's no way I ever want that miserable life back. I've got plenty of things in my life I enjoy doing, I've never had so many friends since uni. I have so much to do I have trouble fitting it all in. I'm starting to "feel" it in my heart that I am better off now, not just feel it intellectually. I'm never going to stand for that kind of treatment again. Some of the stuff that has upset me this year (blazing rows with "mates" in the street, asking people to leave my house who have way overstayed their welcome). They are a consequence of me finding myself, seeing to my needs for once. It's uncomfortable: I've been a pushover my whole life, but it has to stop now. You teach people how to treat you. I'm still not mended, but that is OK. It's like I have an old wound that is still a little tender to the touch, I suppose. The constant pain is gone, now, but it takes a lot less than it used to to cause pain. The thing that bothers me most is that I am still releasing anger. It's not that often, but I can't think of ex or OG without getting furious with them. So, it is best not to think of them. Link to post Share on other sites
Pikachu Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 Ill one up ya. My exe of 13 years cheated on me on my birthday for the first time. Then she cheated the second time on Valentines Day a few days later. I didnt find out for 2 weeks afterwards. Something tells me unless my healing ability jumps into overdrive the beginning of next February isnt gonna be a great time to be around me. Link to post Share on other sites
nyc_guy2003 Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 Ill one up ya. My exe of 13 years cheated on me on my birthday for the first time. Then she cheated the second time on Valentines Day a few days later. I gotta ask -- how is this possible when those are the only two days out of the year that gf/bfs are obligated to spend time with each other?? The only other way you could've gotten any more duped is if she had b@nged your best man on your wedding day. Link to post Share on other sites
Pikachu Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 We were together so long that I 100% trusted her. On my birthday I spent the day with her but went out with my guy friends at night. She didnt have many friends over the years but told me a friends that she hadnt seen for awhile was in town and asked if I minded if she hung out with them that night. I was actually so happy she was getting out, having fun.........yeah..... Valentines Day we spent the evening together but later found out she was with the other man during the morning hours. We lived together for years so when she told me she had work or was going to the gym I honestly never seconded guessed her. You can imagine the shock that went threw me 2 weeks later when I accidentally found a Valentines Day card from another man in our house. February is not may favorite month at this time in my life. Link to post Share on other sites
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