So what... it happened before we met! Will you ever get over it?

[myriad001]

My boyfriend and I began dating three years ago after being introduced through a mutual friend.

 

There were things about my past and his past that our friend discussed with each of us privately. Naturally, this placed some unwanted tension between us, but my boyfriend and I decided that we would bare all about our skeleton's.

 

Everything seemed to be ok between us, and our relationship began to flourish. We moved in together and have been living together ever since.

 

HOWEVER, lately I noticed a huge change in our relationship. I couldn't figure out what I had done to make him so angry, aggressive, short-tempered, and mean.

 

I woke him up last night to discuss our relationship, and he dropped a bomb on me. He told me that he has never been able to fully accept the things that happened in my past, and that he doesn't know if he loves me.

 

Has he been fooling himself in the process of fooling me? Why can't he get over what happened in my life before I even met him? I've dealt with and accepted the things about my life that I cannot erase, why can't he? What does he expect me to do about something I cannot change?

[cdn]

Has he been fooling himself in the process of fooling me?

 

He may have been engaging in some very wishful thinking.

 

Why can't he get over what happened in my life before I even met him? I've dealt with and accepted the things about my life that I cannot erase, why can't he?

 

For any number of reasons. The two that come to mind initially are that he's not mature enough to do so, or that he believes that whatever is in your past speaks to your character, i.e., was not just a temporary behavior, and therefore he believes it or something similar will occur again. You might want to ask him.

 

What does he expect me to do about something I cannot change?

 

There's nothing for you to do except to talk with your boyfriend. You may have to accept that he can't accept your past.

 

I am curious about one thing: Just why did the friend who introduced you feel the need to divulge your "skeletons" to each other? These things are usually left to the involved parties to reveal on their own timetable and in their own way.