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Some contact..


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Well.

 

Broken up for a long time, last july. Strung along for about 6 months, then I decided not to listen to her anymore.

 

I had to accept and admit to myself I had been dating an unstable person and basically keeping her together.

 

Got an email sunday night, same pattern as usual. Please call me, I would really like to talk - and she gives me a land line number.

 

I dont have her mobile phone number. At one point she told me she had blocked me, it was strange because she was the one calling me all the time. Later on she told me she never blocked me, she changed her number and would rather not explain why.. never gave me the new number. Same for her address but I found out why later - she was with someone else right away and did not want me to find out. She knew I would never take her back if she did that, so she used her usual ways of dealing - pretend nothing happened.

 

So I slept on it for a couple of days and yesterday I answered the email with something like "Why are you still trying to contact me? I've asked you to back off and leave me alone, what do you want? What is your major malfunction?"

 

I used to remember every word she would write to me but I dont anymore, progress I suppose.

 

She replied right away - same pattern again - she has things she would like to discuss, she would like to give me some news and know how I've been doing. She wishes that soon we can talk again when I'm done acting like a child, kisses, and so on.

 

This put me in a rage. I know for sure she doesnt care about my feelings, she dropped a nuke in them and did not care for the outcome as long as she was getting what she wanted.

 

There's no way I want to get news from her and no way I want to give her any, no way I want to see her or talk to her.

 

This might seem a bit extreme but that girl broke my heart every week for 6 months after she left, for no reason other than feeding her ego and because she is selfish. We dated for 9 years, you'd think I deserved a proper sendoff at least but I had to manage that myself, like everything else.

 

So that's what I answered. To leave me alone, I dont care where she is or what she does, I dont want news and I have nothing I want to discuss with her. I added that when she decided to leave, I respected her decision and I let her leave with no drama and she then behaved like a savage with me, and based on that I owe her nothing at all. I also added that for ME, the best was to stay NC for ever. No that there is a point, this has been my answer, when I answer, since last October but the girl has a thick skull so I have been nothing but consistant in my message, which is get lost.

 

She replied something mean, like you'll regret this one day, you're mean, I did nothing to deserve such horrible treatment, I thought you and I were better than this (you and I?) - blah blah blah. Then adds that she is leaving the country to go study somewhere - disregarding that I just told her I dont want news.

 

And I left it at that because I'm so done, at least on the intellectual level.

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Billie The Puppet

You put yourself in this position, what was the point of responding back? Should have just blocked the email address and delete the email.

 

Basically your reply cones off as you hurt me so now I sangho hurt you. If you truly want to hear nothing from her don't respond. By respondingi you initiate the contact.

 

My ex recently tried to add me to a social networking site. I have not accepted

Because I am better off now with No Contact.

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Several months ago there was an interesting pattern that emerged in which I Billie The Puppet and I would comment right after each other. Looks like it's happening again.

 

My take: Clearly you need to think about what she's saying and stop acting like a child! I say this sarcastically of course.

 

It looks to me like she has some narcicistic tendencies. She wants what she wants and doesn't care who gets hurt in the process. One has to wonder how many other guys she's trying to talk to.

 

She's self centered and demeaning. You know it. Don't give her any more attention.

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She's self centered and demeaning. You know it. Don't give her any more attention.

 

I'm never quite sure what to do when she does that. Most of the times, I just ignore her but that usually makes her try even harder.

 

Telling her to get lost has the benefit of putting her back in her place. I get the feeling she still thinks she has the situation under control, but she doesn't.

 

I see no reason to maintain any sort of connection with her and anyway, even after all those months, there's no way I could manage it.

 

I'm just too hurt from the whole situation. I had everything invested in that relationship.

 

I promised her I would never be her friend, my position is pretty clear.

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My ex recently tried to add me to a social networking site. I have not accepted

Because I am better off now with No Contact.

 

She's done that too, like 2 months ago or so. I denied it.

 

I'm upset that she's doing well enought to try and get some sort of contact. I'm still a gigantic mess some days.

 

If I examine the question properly, I think she can do the contact thing because she only cares about herself. She wants to contact me when something good happens to her, its all about her. She knows I'm hurt and still wants to tell me about meeting someone, getting a job or a promotion, etc.

 

This has been the pattern of her attempts to contact me since after christmas. I, on the other end, do not want to know because it causes hurt and I'm well hurt enought to steer very clear of her.

 

I wont contact her for her bday and I have a feeling she will, to complain that I didn't.

 

I can't believe I ignored all those things we were together, but I did.

 

I'm not dating anyone either and I honestly don't see how that's ever going to be possible. Physically, my current ex and I were a perfect match and I'm vain.

Edited by dng
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