Coping throughout NC

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I'm going to try to get all the key points across while keeping it undetailed, just in case my ex stumbles upon this.

 

Sometime ago, my (ex) girlfriend told me she was having an issue in our relationship. We texted each other too often and she needed me to back off a bit; she didn't want to worry about texting me when she went out and the like. (Ironically, she did all of this via text).

 

I heard her out, told her I was willing to change things and work with her to fix them. I didn't argue and all of that. By the next day, even though we didn't text, we talked online and things seemed fine. The second day after, however, things were awkward. However, though it was hard, we met in person and talked. She told me she was willing to work out our issues and we'd see how things would go from there.

 

 

Then, two days later, we met again in person. I expected it would be to talk out our issues, but instead she decided to break up with me. She didn't know why she was doing so, aside from she couldn't do it anymore and she knew that we couldn't work out. Then, she left me for other plans she had made, just like that. I was blind-sided, to say the least. Not only was the break up filled with loose ends, I felt like she had someone pressuring her to make the change. (I have an idea who, I just rather not say)

 

 

Later that evening, she tried to apologize for how she left me after the break-up and said she was feeling extremely guilty, that it was eating at her. I didn't contact her for three days, when she contacted me. She once again said she was sorry for the way she left, that she didn't expect forgiveness. She also said we could exchange belongings whenever I was ready. She finished it off saying she would still like to be friends. I said I understood and that I would like to be friends as well.

 

 

Since then, I've gone NC. However, it has been really tough and just that little bit of contact has me feeling not-so-well. In three weeks, we have an event that even during the break up she said she would like to attend with me. As friends, she assured.

 

 

We were really, really close. We both talked about our future and how great it would be. I just think she has been going through a rough time... She finished her classes and I don't think she really knows what to do with herself. I just honestly hope with time, we may be able to get back together.

 

Everyone was dumbfounded to find out we broke up, and everyone is already being hopefully we can make things work again, for good.

 

 

Anyway, any tips to help me get through this No Contact period would be great. Lately I've been pooling my resources, and going out with friends when possible. However, in the downtime, I feel kind of lost. I know she still loves me, and the only thing keeping me going is the hope someday we can make it work again.

[Scorpio6913]

I'm going to try to get all the key points across while keeping it undetailed, just in case my ex stumbles upon this.

 

Sometime ago, my (ex) girlfriend told me she was having an issue in our relationship. We texted each other too often and she needed me to back off a bit; she didn't want to worry about texting me when she went out and the like. (Ironically, she did all of this via text).

 

I heard her out, told her I was willing to change things and work with her to fix them. I didn't argue and all of that. By the next day, even though we didn't text, we talked online and things seemed fine. The second day after, however, things were awkward. However, though it was hard, we met in person and talked. She told me she was willing to work out our issues and we'd see how things would go from there.

 

 

Then, two days later, we met again in person. I expected it would be to talk out our issues, but instead she decided to break up with me. She didn't know why she was doing so, aside from she couldn't do it anymore and she knew that we couldn't work out. Then, she left me for other plans she had made, just like that. I was blind-sided, to say the least. Not only was the break up filled with loose ends, I felt like she had someone pressuring her to make the change. (I have an idea who, I just rather not say)

 

 

Later that evening, she tried to apologize for how she left me after the break-up and said she was feeling extremely guilty, that it was eating at her. I didn't contact her for three days, when she contacted me. She once again said she was sorry for the way she left, that she didn't expect forgiveness. She also said we could exchange belongings whenever I was ready. She finished it off saying she would still like to be friends. I said I understood and that I would like to be friends as well.

 

 

Since then, I've gone NC. However, it has been really tough and just that little bit of contact has me feeling not-so-well. In three weeks, we have an event that even during the break up she said she would like to attend with me. As friends, she assured.

 

 

We were really, really close. We both talked about our future and how great it would be. I just think she has been going through a rough time... She finished her classes and I don't think she really knows what to do with herself. I just honestly hope with time, we may be able to get back together.

 

Everyone was dumbfounded to find out we broke up, and everyone is already being hopefully we can make things work again, for good.

 

 

Anyway, any tips to help me get through this No Contact period would be great. Lately I've been pooling my resources, and going out with friends when possible. However, in the downtime, I feel kind of lost. I know she still loves me, and the only thing keeping me going is the hope someday we can make it work again.

 

Hey Man,

I feel your pain..

The only thing I can suggest is this; Think about how you would feel/behave if a guy friend of yours pulled this on you. Would you be hurt, shocked, upset? Yes, but you'd also think to hell with him! You wouldn't cave & try to win him back would you? No, you'd remain NC & go on with your life thinking "A$$h@le, he'll be missing out on my friendship", then you'd move on knowing well that it's his loss..

I know it's a tough analogy to compare with, but really it's true right?

 

It's her decision & her loss, don't forget that!

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I actually had a guy friend tell me "Hey man, last few times we've hung out just haven't been so much fun. Just 'cause we've known each other for so long, doesn't mean we need to be friends."

So of course, I said "screw him" and moved on.

 

I see what you're saying, and had my girlfriend been any other woman, I probably would be feeling this way. There's just so many loose ends and I know she still has feelings for me. I just think it's an identity crisis on her part and well, I think someone close to her has been influencing her decision.

[Scorpio6913]

I actually had a guy friend tell me "Hey man, last few times we've hung out just haven't been so much fun. Just 'cause we've known each other for so long, doesn't mean we need to be friends."

So of course, I said "screw him" and moved on.

 

I see what you're saying, and had my girlfriend been any other woman, I probably would be feeling this way. There's just so many loose ends and I know she still has feelings for me. I just think it's an identity crisis on her part and well, I think someone close to her has been influencing her decision.

 

No such thing as a Identity crisis, she either wants to be with you or she doesn't. How old is she? If she's so easily influenced by someone, she just didn't have enough "Love/Care" to begin with.

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She's in her early 20's. She finally finished some schooling and I believe she's more or less unsure of what to do with herself now that it's over. Also, the reason she might be so easily influenced is that the one doing so might be a family member.

 

Sorry I'm vague, and call me paranoid, but I wouldn't want her to stumble upon this.

[Scorpio6913]

She's in her early 20's. She finally finished some schooling and I believe she's more or less unsure of what to do with herself now that it's over. Also, the reason she might be so easily influenced is that the one doing so might be a family member.

 

Sorry I'm vague, and call me paranoid, but I wouldn't want her to stumble upon this.

 

Don't worry about her stumbling upon this man, she won't.. she doesn't care enough about you as you do her, for her to be bothered. I'm sorry to be blunt with that..

I've had my own family in that past interfere with an ex girlfriend when I was that age. I was pissed beyond belief, but finally realized it was because my ex wasn't happy at the time and spoke with them about it, they make their own decisions in the end.

Your best bet right now is to continue NC, it's your only real option. She'll either miss you and contact, or she won't.

If it makes you feel better, I can see her contacting you again if you remain NC, but you'll have to decide what to do when that DOES happen.

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Yeah, it's okay. I know the chances are rare of her finding this. She dumped me, and while I'm sure it hurt, I don't know if it hurts as much as I do.

 

 

Just gotta wait it out and keep a positive mentality until she can figure things out.

[collegeguy_24]

Th chances of her finding this are rare, especially if you don't tell her or anyone else about this.

 

Also, don't write her name in here. My ex found my thread because I posted her name in there. Other then that, you should be good to share with us so we can help you.