calndn Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 Hi, Ive not posted in here before. My relationship broke down 5 months ago...god it doesnt seem that long ago really, I guess because ive stayed in touch and have seen the ex quite a lot within that time. Bad Idea I know...! Reason he broke it off was because he was young and wanted to experience life a bit more and go and have fun on his own with noone to answer to. It was hard to accept that as he was always the more keen one in the relationship wanted to move in etc...and suddenly bam out the blue didnt want it anymore. Noone else involved so I couldnt understand it. I still dont and I feel like I still dont accept it I dont know why. So anyway we've finally got to the point where a few weeks ago he was a complete arsehole and told me to stay away from him (I certainly do not follow him like he is implying with this remark!!) infact he was the one that did all the getting back in touch/wanting to see me thing. I wish I wish I had said no...but hey, Its done now. He told me to f off...and that I was pathetic and a disgrace and needed to sort my life out. We had a disagreement over something....it was mostly him though, he agreed with me then changed his mind (sorry its too long to go into it) anyway thats what hes like...from one extreme to the other. Anyway so now ive deleted his number blocked on fbook...i know hes blocked me. He did it first...it hurt. Hes detagged all photos of us. That hurt too. And im sure hes deleted my number. I sent him a massive txt the day he told me to f off saying everything i wanted to say and told him i didnt want anymore to do with him. That was 2 weeks ago now....we obv havent spoken, nothing, since then. Although I hate him now a bit for how horrid he was (hes never told me to f off or anything like that) I still feel like bursting into tears all the time. I guess I didnt want it to end totally quite like it has. We have lots of mutual friends so its hard. He also moved to my home town from 200 miles away for me last year, so he lives where I have lived all my life...and im always subconciously lookign out for him/his car/his friends....and I hate living like that. I am moving soon, not because of him, I was going to anyway but now its become like 'oh thank god im moving away from him'. I hate going down memory lane and thinking about how he used to be and how we used to be...its awful. Hes made me go from a confident person to someone who feels uncomfortable in social situations where there are lots of men around. Hes made my self-esteem the lowest its ever been and made me feel like im never going to meet anyone else. I hate thinking that I may never ever speak to him again...even though I know its probably for the best. I'd love an apology but I know hes never going to give me one. . I just want to be happy and not have him ruling my life/thoughts/everything anymore! Its so tough...5 months later and I still feel like this... xxxxx Link to post Share on other sites
fresh8 Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 You deserve better than this. You will never get an apology from him and although it is hard, it's best you try to forget him. He says he wants to experience life and that's why he broke it off with you. Why don't you do the same and try and expierence life too? You're going to miss him all the time but with time, you will get better. Don't think it's some kind of race or something - you will stop caring when you do. It might take another month or maybe another few months... Just try not to let it get to your head and make you a different person. I can relate to you as I've taken it pretty hard too. I know that I am not as confident as I was before and I have been trying to figure out why I am feeling this way. In the end, I think it's because I feel like I will never meet someone as good as my ex. And I have told myself the only way to get over these insecurities is to accept and understand that the only way that I will never meet someone as good or better than my ex is if I keep being scared and insecure. So I am trying to hold my head up high and trying to be the same confident person that my ex developed feelings for and all my friends love to see. The only one holding yourself back is you! Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts