hurley21 Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 Any tips on this? My fiance dumped me last Friday. I am in college and I had two tests, one Mon and one Tue and they were fairly decent ways to distract myself, but now I have a lot of free time on my hands and the pain is intense. How do I distract myself? How do I become comfortable with a single, alone version of myself? I've been in a relationship since I was 16 (I'm 26 now). Link to post Share on other sites
Fufu Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 1. Grab yourself some new books to read, action, thriller, self-motivational books, crime-solving... 2. Call your family and friends for lunch/dinner/shopping (I joined my family for more meals which I usually missed out when I was with my ex and went for weekend getaways with my family more frequently now) 3. Get yourself a new hobby or learn something new like pottery classes, painting classes, any sports, or learn a new language (I took up Japanese language and had 2 classes per week) 4. Watch 48 hours of mystery (This is how I occupy myself from the pain my ex-bf who left me before our engagement) 5. Join forums ( I joined the long hair community forum and spend more time taking care of my hair.) Link to post Share on other sites
brokendreamz Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 I went to peices. Cried, had a breakdown and am now in Therapy! Everyone has their own way, just don't bottle up your emotions or they'll come back and bite you in the ass - as I am now finding out... Good luck ;0) Link to post Share on other sites
1784 Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 Way to be positive, brokendreamz. I'm sure she feels a lot more optimistic now Look, there's no getting around the pain. You're going to have to go through it no matter what you do. It's a loss. It's a void. It's gonna hurt. There is an upside, though, if you choose to acknowledge it. This isn't the end of you. It's not going to kill you. And it will make you stronger and force you to grow. This is your opportunity to take stock of your life, make improvements where you think they need to be made, live life the way you want to, etc. When you're in a long term relationship a lot of decisions are made for the couple's best interests. Since that is no longer the case you should look at the freedom that you now have. You can do anything. You're young and you have nothing but possibility ahead of you. For real. THAT is the reality of the situation. And you can be thankful that you didn't marry the wrong person. Better now than later. So it's really your choice here. Like I said, there will be a void that you need to fill. You can do that with whatever floats your boat. Reading, writing, self care, fun, introspection, movies, tv, clubs, volunteering, education, travel, work, etc. All of these things will occupy your time. But don't avoid the pain either. It's very important to acknowledge your loss, move through it (not around it), and progress forward. It's never easy but you can use this as something positive for your life. It's your choice. Good luck. We'll be here if you need us. Link to post Share on other sites
swfc_77 Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 i'll only tell you what helped me, because it might be different for you. 1. put everything that reminds you of the relationship away or in the bin 2. book a holiday or book something to look forward to festival/trip to coast anything 3. re-decorate, this helped me alot im in the construction business and started ripping walls out opened up the kitchen nearly decorated the whole house to make it feel like a fresh start and a new change. you dont have to be a builder just grab a paint brush and go for it 4. start working out 5. take more hours on at work / do something after college @ college 6. go to bed early/get up early, feel fresh & ready to go 7. delete facebook if you dare dont. 1. sit around doing nothing 2. go out drinking everynight, i did it and it cost me a bomb and wasn't that clever 3. dont sit moping around on facebook, it an absolute killer and sure fire way to stop you moving on it goes without saying to stay NC and try to avoid anywhere your ex may be if its still hurting, like said thats what helped me and got me on the road to recovery it might help you it might not, im still hurting a bit after 7 months but i could be worse. hope this helps and good luck, Link to post Share on other sites
Infomercials Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 Well, I'm at about the same place you are (he left last Wednesday), but one thing I figured out a few days ago was that the evening is the hardest time for me. I've been trying to make sure that I always have something to do during the evening hours when he and I would usually be together to distract myself. I've been spending a lot of time on the phone with my parents, on skype with my best friend who lives a few states away, and hanging out with friends here. Also, I made this mistake yesterday - I stayed inside all day. Sure, I had things to do. I should've gone to school. But did I? Nope. I felt much better on Saturday when I just went outside and took a long walk, and then I somehow regressed back to staying in bed crying all day. I don't know about you, but I'm a huge reader. I'm planning on spending a lot of time at the bookstore sipping coffee and reading in an armchair. I feel your pain, though. I don't know how to be alone. I never learned, but I'm working on it now. Link to post Share on other sites
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