read if you need to heal

[No_hope]

It's been 3 months since my ex fiance broke up with me, he did it "out of the blue" also. He broke up with me 6 weeks before our wedding for another girl he had been seeing behind my back for 2 months. I also found out he was seeing 3 other girls ever since I got pregnant with our son who is now 13 months old.

He always preached about how he was against cheating, that's why I didn't "understand" and sometimes he would even question me if I was cheating on him. But THOSE were SIGNS he was cheating!

 

When you fist break up, you are so blinded! You think about how "perfect" your relationship was. Like me for example, I thought we were a happy, loving, perfect family. I was so wrong, there was tons of signs he was not committed to the relationship but I always made up excuses for it, or I pretended it never happened.

 

I went low contact, I did not talk to him for about 1-2 weeks, but then I would send him text, and he replied, once. Another week later I text him, he called, we talked about custody of our son (who he wants nothing to do with). We had one last big fight about 2 1/2 months after the break up, and I went completely no contact.

 

I made a list of why its GREAT to be single:

* not having to worry if he is cheating

*if the house is a mess, what do I care?

*no one judges my choices, or me.

*Freedom!

*I only have to take care of my children and myself.

*If I don't shave my legs, who cares?

*I can read, study or watch tv all night

*I can raise my children how I want too.

*I can cook what ever I want for dinner, and don't have to hear him whining he doesn't like it.

*I get the whole bed and blankets to myself + I can let my kids sleep in my bed as long as they want to.

*I get to listen to my kind of music

*no more FIGHTING, at all! my house is now peaceful. - its nice to no there will be 0 fighting

*I can buy what ever I want to by, its now "my" money and not "our" money.

*I don't have to repeatedly ask him when he is going to get a job and pull is weight around.

*I no longer have to worry about him doing drugs

*I can decorate my house how I want to.

* I don't have to make time for him, my kids, and studying. I just cuddle with my babies all day and study with out feeling guilty.

 

 

Some things I can do for myself (AND YOU!!!!):

*go on a hike!

*go shopping

*re decorate your house how you want to

*go for long peaceful walks listening to your MP3 player

* go on dates

* sip expensive wine in the bathtub

* blast music and dance around

* go to museums

* go on a road trip to the beach

* go hang out with friends

* take classes

*start a career

* get involved! with animal rights, global warming, etc

* go to a concert

* go camping

* do yoga

* EAT HEALTHY

* work out, and make your awesome bodies look good to die for

* live the life YOU want to live, and not having to worry if your partner wants to live the same life

*make YOUR life interesting!

*find yourself!

 

 

These are things YOU need to do for YOU, and if/when your ex comes crawling back, really decide after everything I had listed, if you really want them back.

 

I tried for 2 months to get my ex back even though he left me for another girl, and now? Now I don't want him back, I am excited about single parenting and living life the way I want with out having to "talk it over" with him.

BUT I will have to say, if he truly loves me, he will come back, beg, plead, tell me he was wrong, tell me he was sorry, and try and try and try. I will not take anything less then begging on his part, and neither should you.

 

Really ask yourself. "We only dated for 5 years... how do I expect them to stay with me fore the next 70-80 years of our lives?"

 

If you have anything to add to my lists, add away!

thoughts and opinions are also welcomed!

[charly26]

I love your post.

[Duckduckgoose]

Sounds like you got it together!