Am I leading this guy on?

[huskers11]

Ok, so it's been a little over 2 months since my ex boyfriend, who will be named K, dumped me. It was a one sided break up and I still have a lot of feelings for him. In fact, I know I am for sure not close to being over him! Shortly after we broke up, I started talking to this guy, M, on a regular basis. We chat often and hang out occasionally. Him and his ex girlfriend broke up a few months before K and I but I think it's still pretty fresh for him too. To be honest I am not even sure if M has any feelings for me! But I have made it a point to tell him I am not ready to date anyone, I am not over K, I still have a lot of feelings for K. I've also made it a point to tell him that I do not have sex outside of a relationship and I would never do friends with benefits in case that was what he was looking for. Well last night, M and I got drinks then cuddled on my couch and watched a movie. We are always a little flirty and have openly talked about sex; however, we have never done anything physical beside cuddle.

 

I told one of my best friends and she doesn't like this idea. She thinks I need to be single and independent for awhile. She also said I am leading this guy on and using him. Which I am for sure using him but I feel like he may also be using me to get over his ex as well. Since I've been so upfront about everything, is what I'm doing that bad? Am I leading him on?

[tommy.is.my.name]

Nothing at all wrong with what youre doing. We are human and because of that need some level of friendship and intimacy. It seems you two have found that. Yore being upfront which is all anyone can ask for.

 

I was in a similar situation years back. Chyloe and I just got out of relationships. We met eachother and clicked right away. There was mutual attraction but neither of us were ready for anything other than friendship.

 

We pretty much slept in the same bed with eachother and spent all our free time with one another. Everyone thought we were an item. But we were not at all. We even went on big trip to the mainland (we lived in Hawaii) together.

 

One night we almost hooked up after a few drinks. But, she made it clear in the beginning that she wasn't ready for that. So, I decided to stop before we couldn't turn back. It was the best decision because even though we don't lay next to eachother at night anymore, we live in different cities, and we have both since found our respective loves (mine, however didn't work), she is and will always be one if my best friends and I hers.

 

Love ya Chyloe!

Edited April 3, 2011 by tommy.is.my.name