swfc_77 Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 (edited) after a rollacoatser 7 months nearly i just dont know how i feel sometimes, for people who dont know i was - with her for 2 yrs she left for another guy came back after 2 months because he was a bit possesive/violent then left again after about 3-4 months with me she lived here with my family, then didn't, then did, then left again.... gave me std's, cancelled holidays (i lost about £1500 i think), messed around on facebook messaging all the time. its over for good, i know this, i dont want her back but i still get this dissapointed feeling in the pit of my stomach, not only for me but for her and how it all crumbled. i often still question myself about whether she lied about this, or that. i feel like i'v been tricked, i would like to know if those special little moments were she said things were lies, intentional ones, if you know what i mean. she accused me for about 5 months after the B/U of cheating, i never did but someone has told me she may have done that to feel less guilty and maybe she was cheating throughout the relationship, its quite possible i gave her loads of freedom and time with her mates. thats another thing that bugs me, her mates. they were so rude to me and they are very materialistic, i never did anything to them i hardly knew them, but i gathered they told my ex that life was better without me, she is missing out on meeting different men every weekend which is what they do and what they are known for around here so i have been told. i still think about her alot, i dont care if she is with someone else and if she is i would wish her well, she was in a bit of a tangle career wise when i met her and i helped get her onto doing things that would benifit her future college/good job ect ect, i just tried to support the girl. regarding other women, im not ready i'v had offers but cant bring myself to get dressed up, put on a big grin and charm a women for the evening, i just dont seem to have the energy yet, it plays on my mind that some young women are forever swapping and changing BF's/sleeping around and thats just not really for me, but its the type of girl im attracted too, unfortunatley. i dont know what will happen in the future, i tried working in holland for a few weeks, but my feelings must have caught the next ferry and soon caught up with me, so i came home back to what i know. like said its kind of sad how it all went, i didnt put her on a pedastal, but tried to make her feel comfy, protected, happy and driven in life. my business is doing good, my social life is good, im fairly happy at where i am in life but i still get the little hole she left behind. crazy stuff, Edited March 31, 2011 by swfc_77 Link to post Share on other sites
worldgonewrong Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 she .... gave me std's That, right there, would be enough to banish her from my mind, if I'd been in your shoes. Good gawd. Link to post Share on other sites
Author swfc_77 Posted April 1, 2011 Author Share Posted April 1, 2011 i know but thats what annoys me, she treat me like crap 90% of the time and i still get this annoying feeling. Link to post Share on other sites
0hpenelope Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 Just happy to see you're healing well, brother. Definitely much better than when I first encountered one of your threads. Link to post Share on other sites
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