ahoy Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 I've been no contact for a bit now, can't even remember how long. I'm going the gym, I've got a new career and I'm going out with my friends as I did before my relationship - just booked an 18-30's holiday too - it's amazing what the right motivation can do for you in the space of three weeks haha. Anyway, at the minute I am actually having a good time. My head's pretty clear and fortunately sticking to no contact is going smooth - I've even got to the point where I can delete her texts without even reading them (can't lie, curious as I might be some times I just instantly delete them). Occasionally however, my mind just seems to drift into thinking about her (not with the intention of speaking, just sort of, little things remind me of something funny/memorable or whatever). When this happens, I've sort of got into the habit of thinking about times that she pissed me off, or anything along those lines - and suddenly the "moment of reflection" is gone, and I continue as normal. Question is, is this helpful in the long run or could it just lead to some ridiculous outburst directed at her further down the line? Link to post Share on other sites
Fufu Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 Keeping NC and not giving up..........certainly feels great right. I know many people dislike stepping into NC and probably the first few months do feel like CRAP... the CRAP does get over after all. As long as you doing well in your life now, you are definitely moving on and it's certainly normal to think of them from time to time. In the initial stage when I thought of my ex, I felt heart ache and will felt depressed why he chose to let me go. However, now when he comes into my mind randomly, I will just feel nothing and it just feels like I only know this person. Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 It's fine. Reflecting on happy times, sad times, good times, bad times is all part of life. After a while, when you've done enough stuff and things and got involved with other people enough, you'll start reflecting on that instead of your previous relationship. Now that you are NC and have space, you can sort out what was hers and what was yours in the great metaphorical feelings closet of the mind, improve your weaknesses, appreciate your strengths, and leave her emotional sundries at the front door. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ahoy Posted March 31, 2011 Author Share Posted March 31, 2011 The thing is, I don't feel like crap any more. I just instantly - almost purposely I'd say - think about anything I dislike about her (sometimes I run a bit short on things to list, so I just choose a bad hair day or something lol), anything at all that I can remember, and it works. I am just trying to get some assurance that this isn't self destructive in the long term Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 Hmm, well, when you put it like that you might be burying stuff away and using the negatives to stop it resurfacing, so yeah, I can see where your concern is coming from. Good that you're self-aware enough to pick up on this. Block her phone number. Stop getting those texts. Oh, and Facebook / Twitter / MyFace / FaceSpace etc. too Link to post Share on other sites
Author ahoy Posted March 31, 2011 Author Share Posted March 31, 2011 She's completely removed from my life in terms of contact. I've contacted my network, but they cannot block phone numbers, and I asked a few friends who have the same phone/network as me and one of them said she tried to get her ex to stop texting her - she even contacted the police, and they couldn't help unless it was getting to the point of actual harassment in the eyes of the law - so I've just got to stick to my guns and tap that delete button asap haha Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 Change number? Get an Android phone and install Mr NumberBock? Always reply "Leave me alone. I have nothing to say to you"? There are always ways... Up to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Fufu Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 The thing is, I don't feel like crap any more. I just instantly - almost purposely I'd say - think about anything I dislike about her (sometimes I run a bit short on things to list, so I just choose a bad hair day or something lol), anything at all that I can remember, and it works. I am just trying to get some assurance that this isn't self destructive in the long term See you have moved on, so don't question yourself anymore Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 I've just taken my own advice and change my mobile number - one phone call, takes about an hour for the switch, free of charge, massive sense of relied to know I won't ever be thinking, "Is that her" when it rings or a text comes in. Link to post Share on other sites
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