worlybear Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 Last night after a very fraught day at work (also trying unsuccessfully to sort out bank statements for legal aid) I texted my oldest son (who is living with STBXH) to ask if his father ever spared a thought for the family he has so casually discarded. His response- "Ask him." was not the most helpful of replies. I am hurt and angry that STBXH has been able to turn his back on all his familial and financial responsibilities and has made a nice,new life for himself, new house, new partner, new job ,new stepdaughter (thank you very much.) I have had to sell house (at a loss, still to be sorted financially and take temporary contracts which involves lots of travel and exhausting,complicated arrangements wth my daughter's friends parents to avoid moving her from school to school. My adult kids are at loggerheads with each other as my oldest daughter has chosen to stay in contact with her father. My sons just wish him dead. Youngest daughter wants nothing to do with him-he is, after all, being a dad to her former friend. But from where I'm sitting it looks like being a cheater pays comfortably. I'm sure he hasn't got half the hassle I have in my life and to top it all he has stopped paying child maintenance ! CSA have said they will take money from his employer but it takes time to set up. He was the one who cheated and left our lives in chaos and it looks like I will have to pay to take him to court. LIFE REALLY SUCKS!:mad: . Link to post Share on other sites
jquest1280 Posted April 2, 2011 Share Posted April 2, 2011 Do what you have to do, but leave the bitterness at the door because it will only make you older and wrinklier and so not attractive to someone better for you who might be coming along. C'mon. I also wouldn't set my children against their father...like it or not, he's still their father. I know I resented my father very much, but grieved for years when he died. They can come to any conclusion they want about their father, but don't help them get there, directly nor by innuendo. Respect their decision, whatever it is. People who've done what your ex did eventually pay for it - you may not see it or know about it, but believe the karmic law, they pay. Link to post Share on other sites
tinktronik Posted April 2, 2011 Share Posted April 2, 2011 Last night after a very fraught day at work (also trying unsuccessfully to sort out bank statements for legal aid) I texted my oldest son (who is living with STBXH) to ask if his father ever spared a thought for the family he has so casually discarded. His response- "Ask him." was not the most helpful of replies. I am hurt and angry that STBXH has been able to turn his back on all his familial and financial responsibilities and has made a nice,new life for himself, new house, new partner, new job ,new stepdaughter (thank you very much.) I have had to sell house (at a loss, still to be sorted financially and take temporary contracts which involves lots of travel and exhausting,complicated arrangements wth my daughter's friends parents to avoid moving her from school to school. My adult kids are at loggerheads with each other as my oldest daughter has chosen to stay in contact with her father. My sons just wish him dead. Youngest daughter wants nothing to do with him-he is, after all, being a dad to her former friend. But from where I'm sitting it looks like being a cheater pays comfortably. I'm sure he hasn't got half the hassle I have in my life and to top it all he has stopped paying child maintenance ! CSA have said they will take money from his employer but it takes time to set up. He was the one who cheated and left our lives in chaos and it looks like I will have to pay to take him to court. LIFE REALLY SUCKS!:mad: . Your child's reply was the adult and correct one. OP I know you're hurt, that's perfectly understandable. You need to start healing in order to get your life on track. Have you considered IC? Link to post Share on other sites
stopthemadness Posted April 4, 2011 Share Posted April 4, 2011 (edited) Hi, ok 12 years ago my husband of 14 years left us. At the time the kids were 14, 9 and 8. I took it very hard NEVER seen it comming! he left me for another women. He stayed with that women for about 2 years bought HER a house too. Then they broke up.Hes now remarried for about 5 years now. And his life is very good really. ALL that crap about "what goes around comes around" pure bull****. I just got through a REALLY BAD BREAK UP. I was with the man for 8+ years. AND now am alone again!! But am doing alot better then I was. And i have NO doubt in my mind that i wont find smone else. Am a good person and the Lord will bless me with a good man, when its my time. Like you I had to regroup my life and start over. You sound strong and am sure you will be fine. And when its time the Lord will also bless you with a good man. So hang in there, cause 12 years ago I was you. And am doing fine.(other then this breakup am getting through). And as child support goes? ALL my kids are grown and I will still be getting back childsupport owed to me for about another 3 years!!! YA cool huh?? But I never got county aid. I always worked soo all my child support owed goes to me.. So heck ya open a child support case its pays off....GOOD LUCK, HANG IN THERE!!!! Oh ya and me and my ex husband, we are friends now but it took alot of years under the belt for that to happen. Edited April 4, 2011 by stopthemadness Link to post Share on other sites
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