bestrong Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 The relationship ended in Oct 2009 after I left her country and went back home because of my visa and family issues. I did all the begging, crying and she didn't move a bit. I assume she meant it when she said the feeling couldn't go further. We started NC on July 2010 and didn't contact until Christmas when she sent me her apology. We stopped talking for 2 months but all these times I keeping thinking of herafterwards and I sent her an email on March saying "how are you?" I gave in, I admiitted it, but the feeling of treating her like a stranger tore me apart. We started emailing each other everyday. (I don't understand how you could email someone you don't have feeling towards every day and share your life with them. )We talked about our pets, politics in my country, Japan, everyday life but we never ever mention about relationships and her bf. It feels like the times when we were just best friend. Everything is so familiar but I can always sense this transparent wall in between us through emails. Recently, she brought up a suggestion saying we should talk through skype because she wants to speak better Chinese so that she could communicate with her mom better. I really want to hear her voice but I have a feeling it's going to set me back. The fact I am typing all these shows I will be affect by it. I told her I don't think we are ready to talk through skype cause we aren't on the same page. She thinks things are at a balance that is bearable now but I think cause I have been talking to her very carefully. I am starting to feel upset more often now. How should I deal with this situation? I know I can't cut her off my life completely, I never did that to any of my previous gfs. Link to post Share on other sites
Fufu Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 You gave yourself the opportunity to hurt yourself greatly. You are upset because you give yourself the chance to be hurt all over again. It's time to stop hurting yourself. Definitely cease contact with her and start your own healing journey. I don know how long it will take for you to recover, but as long as you don't start, your recovery will be delayed. Sometimes you have to think for yourself first, because you are no longer in a relationship with her. By having contact with her and yet you are feeling so hurt about it, is it truly what you want for yourself? You can always contact her again..............only when you talk to her and you no longer feel hurt. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bestrong Posted March 30, 2011 Author Share Posted March 30, 2011 Thanks Fufu. I feel happier after talking to her, but it's like an addiction. If I don't get to talk to her within a certain period of time, I suffer. I guess I have to deal with it. It's frustrating how it has been a year and a half and she is still in my mind. I keep myself busy all the time especially in the city I live in where people works till very late, but once I relax a bit, my mind starts thinking about her. Hopefully, when time goes by she and I can be best friends again. Link to post Share on other sites
Fufu Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 bestrong: You are most welcome I like your nick, bestrong, tell yourself this, be strong you and you will be fine. Your a Japanese? I'm learning Japanese Language. はじめまして Link to post Share on other sites
Author bestrong Posted March 30, 2011 Author Share Posted March 30, 2011 That's what I have been trying to do. I wan to be strong and let her go. I am not Japanese. I am Chinese living in Hong Kong. What about you? Link to post Share on other sites
Fufu Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 I see, I had mis read when I saw the Japan in your post. I'm a Chinese too, living in Singapore Link to post Share on other sites
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