confused_blondie Posted March 27, 2011 Share Posted March 27, 2011 Heres my thread with my story: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t270805/ He's messing with my head and I don't know how to react. I'm not copying with this break up and need some advice. I got no sleep last night and feel miserable today. When do you start to move on? Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted March 27, 2011 Share Posted March 27, 2011 It's over. The more time you spend trying to make sense of it the more sleep you will lose. Get some sleeping pills from your doctor if you feel you need to, and get a good night's sleep. The better your sleeping patterns, the more settled your mind will become. This is a terrible shock to the system, so you need to take control of your diet, your sleep, your exercise, and use these to speed up your recovery. Do not contact him during this period of healing. When you are healed, when he no longer has the power to hurt you deep inside, you might be okay contacting him then. Until then, he is a dangerous substance that will upset your soul. You can muse the possible causes later, in a few months, when you are healed. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted March 27, 2011 Share Posted March 27, 2011 No clue as to the man's psychology but suffice to say he sounds a bit unstable. If the 'stuff' isn't valuable monetarily or sentimentally, just consider it a cost of relationship university, change/delete your contact information and prepare for your move. Simply erase him from your life. Accept that you may never have the answers you seek. It's OK to not have all the answers in life. Welcome to LS Link to post Share on other sites
Miss_G Posted March 27, 2011 Share Posted March 27, 2011 You are in a similar situation to me. My ex also tells me he loves me but doesn't want/can't handle a relationship right now. Which is charming seeing as we have a child together... Anway, he is a wonderful bloke and was a great partner, he is a dedicated dad and loves his son. I, too, feel messed up in the head as I can't believe such a perfect relationship went wrong. Technically we split 7 month ago but officially it's only been a month with no 'going out' or 'dating'. I have found that on my happier days I have started remembering how we would SCREAM at each other in arguemets, times were he has called me awful things, mocked me and been unsupportive or disrespectful to me. You will find that, as you move on you will start to see things a little differently. I still remember the good times but also find that I'm thinking about the bad as well and not always the good like before. My ex has started having chats with me when he drops off our son and is even making subtle 'sexy' comments. There's been a little flirting but still he maintains that he 'can't handle a relationship'. To me, he seems very confused. Your ex sounds the same. If you truly love this person you need to let him go. He is probably going through a period of 'relief. If he was feeling trapped by the relationship he is now feeling the pressure lifted from not being with you. However, that does not mean that he does not love you as a person and still wants you in his life. In a sense, he wants his cake and he wants to eat it. What you need to focus on is yourself. You are most important. Don't think about finding someone else and whether you will or won't (but trust me, you WILL find someone else, but these things take time). I advise you do go LC with ex if you can't do full NC. He needs to see you HAPPY without him. He needs to see you being strong and moving on. When he no longer feels comfortable about you always being around, that is when he was truly consider his feelings. They may bring him back, they may not. I am focussing on myself and letting what will be, be. It's ok to feel sad and down. When I have a down day I have a good cry, drink some wine, eat some chocolate and have an early night. You'll soon come out of it again. You just need to stay focussed and strong Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts