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Having a bit of a 'world is crashing in' day


Coping Learning to deal with one's emotions and loss.

 
 
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Old 25th March 2011, 11:14 PM   #1
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Having a bit of a 'world is crashing in' day

I've been pretty good for about a week. No random crying, things in a good perspective, feeling rather positive about the future... And then today, with the stress of moving into a new place, I felt more isolated than ever and I just missed him so much. I wish he was his old self and that he could be here for me. He's the only person I want to see. Now I feel desperately alone and pretty helpless. I guess a lot of my emotions must be hinged on him.

I hate these days.
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Old 26th March 2011, 1:52 AM   #2
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These days will come and go, but they'll get farther apart.

To quote one of my newest favorite songs:

It doesn't happen overnight, and you turn around and a month's gone by, and you realize you haven't cried...
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Old 26th March 2011, 5:39 AM   #3
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You're not alone. We all go through this and there's no set amount of time for all those feelings to pass. Just accept that you will have bad days, but overtime they will become less and less.
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Old 26th March 2011, 5:43 AM   #4
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we have been broken up for 6 months and i still get those days a lot. but i have become better at handling them. i text a friend about it and then i make plans with friends to take my mind off it. dont just stay in bed all day - it is MUCH better to get out. as hard as it is to get yourself out of bed you just have to do it. get up, shower, eat something, dress really nicely - just for yourself!

and when you wake up the next morning it will all be gone
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Old 26th March 2011, 5:59 AM   #5
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Yeah, my ex is always on my mind, and for the most part, I've learnt to accept it.

But yesterday and today I woke up with the thought of him getting cosy with his current girl which made me feel sick to my stomach.

We've just got to learn to accept the feelings. The harder we resist them, the stronger they become. Keep in the here and now, look around you, think of something you're looking forward to, that doesn't include him and then realise you can be happy that he's not by your side.

I'm finding that this works (most of the time). Also walking in the sunshine with some great music on helps.
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Old 26th March 2011, 10:56 AM   #6
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Your feelings are normal. I know we don't like to hear that because we just want the pain/loss feelings to go away.
With me, right from the beginning I told myself that he was probably going to be hounding women and being his flirty, great guy, self. I learned to accept that right away because knowing how he was, who he was, made me realize nobody is ever going to get better. He was still a very sad and lonely creature, regardless of how many women he had on the hook. So, acceptance worked for me.
I have a very good friend, who I have been friends with for most of my life. She helped so much. At first we would talk for hours about things with regard to him. She's always been a very level headed, well rounded person, and would never have put up with 1/10th of what I did. She really made me see things. Of course we talk all the time, have for over 20 years. In time our conversations started not to include his name. I didn't want to beat a dead horse. I noticed that I could take that time, talking to her, not to think about him. If I was feeling crappy I would give her a buzz and we'd talk about everything under the sun. It helped alot to get my mind off of things. Spending time with my dogs, doing things with them, grooming them, made me focus on something different.
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Old 26th March 2011, 4:27 PM   #7
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It always helps to hear about other people's experiences. Coincidentally, when I checked my email inbox later that day there was an email in there from him. Pretty big shock as I hadn't been expecting to hear from him again. He said that he missed talking to me and asked about how my life is going. I'm going to take some time before replying, but it did make me feel better and afterwards I could start focusing on organising myself again. Such a strange day.
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Old 27th March 2011, 3:12 AM   #8
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wow im jealous he contacted you. but be weary. this could end up backfiring and making you worse.
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Old 27th March 2011, 3:20 AM   #9
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The pain gets further and further apart. If he walked in, in would take you a few second to recognize him.
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