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I'm not coping well...should have listened


Country_Girl

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Country_Girl

I feel like I was doing well, it's close to 3 months from the split.

 

We were in very low contact up until 2 weeks ago. Then he started calling all the time/texting. I thought I was okay, I felt like I had control of the situation, that he wouldn't get to me. He was telling me he loved me, but nothing changed. We maintained the status quo for 2 weeks.

 

I was okay with it at first, but then it started driving me nuts. If he loves me so much then why can't we be together?

 

I told him this needs to stop, and we agreed mutually on NC.

 

I feel like I am at day 1 of the breakup :( And it really makes me sad, I was doing so well until he re-entered my life. I am heartbroken all over again.

 

I wish someone could take the pain away. I thought I was done with it, but it hurts everywhere all over again.

 

I'm so stupid, should have gone NC from the start. But I was selfish, I felt rejected. And now I have to re-live the pain all over again.

 

He makes me mad, he had a pornography problem, an addiction...and you know what he told me? That even though we are not together right now, maybe I could send him some "pictures" of me. WTF. He claims he is battling this addiction yet he asks for that? Doesn't sound like someone that is working on their issues to me.

 

I am hurt...sad..lonely...words of encouragement please.

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I know the feeling...

 

It takes a long time. Maybe months, maybe years, decades...but eventually...itll fade

 

Ive been broken up for 8 months...I still feel like day 1....recommunicated has put me back to day 1

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If he is telling you he loves you, tell him to contact you only if he wants to give it another shot. Simply ignore anything else after that.

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Country_Girl

This will be the 3rd time we agreed on NC, it hurts our hearts to be in contact.

 

I swear Exs know when you are moving on, I updated a profile on a dating site, got a message from someone by email and 20 minutes later I get 2 phone calls and 1 text from the Ex. I called him back, we talked for 1.5 hrs then once again agreed on NC. Then maybe 2 hrs later he calls me again, just to ask about some restaurant. We probably talked for an hour.

 

Seriously, wtf? I can't do this anymore. I am so tired of him telling me he loves me yet it goes nowhere. Honestly, it ****s me up to be in contact with him. Sure, it feels good for a few hours but the next day I wake up and feel like ****.

 

He chose this, this is what he wanted. Why should I be there for him emotionally, when he wasn't there for me 2 months post breakup. I feel bad, that's why and I don't want him to have to face the rejection he dealt to me- cuz that was a horrible feeling.

 

I have to stop all contact with him, it's not even me reaching out, it's always him, but I know what it's like to be alone and I don't want him to feel that :(

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I have to stop all contact with him, it's not even me reaching out, it's always him, but I know what it's like to be alone and I don't want him to feel that :(

 

Best wishes to you :)

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Country_Girl

This whole process sucks Blindrage :-(

 

I can't even tell my friends about his most recent contact, they would be mad at me if they knew I was still talking to him.

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This whole process sucks Blindrage :-(

 

I can't even tell my friends about his most recent contact, they would be mad at me if they knew I was still talking to him.

 

 

I understand. I spoke to my family and friends about my ex and my feelings.. let me tell you Country_Girl, they got bored with it fast :p "still!?!"-quoting a few of my friends here. From my experience the time I was trying to contact my ex was the worst times in my life and the saddest. I know its hard, believe me, I know it first hand. If you truly want to heal then you need to stop talking to him (that is the turning point for me.. when I didn't try to contact her) Don't tell them about the contact. its nothing more than a slip up that you can put in the past. Now you should really attempt. I do wish you the best because I know its difficult (in my case the most difficult thing in my entire life). Life is short and you have to live it up :).

 

So I noticed your username is country_girl, would it be safe to assume you like country music? :D listen to... george strait -the breath you take. haha (I only said that because thats what I'm listening to :p)

 

P.S: just thought I would add this for the humor of it. Today I told my brother about a dream I had regarding my ex and I just said "that women" lol he caught up to who I was referring to quickly. On the other hand my sister heard and she said "which women" and we both just stared at her and he said.. "the unspoken one" haha.

Edited by BlindRage
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Country_Girl

Yep, big fan of country music :D It's kind of funny, used to hate country music till I was 16 or so and got a job at Lone Star. They played country music and we line danced every night, then it was my thing!

 

Everyone told me that I'll like it, I said whatever, didn't see it happening. Yep now I am stuck on it. George Strait is great, can't get enough of him, my favorite song by him is "run" (ha go figure!).

 

I'm also a big Gary Allan fan (although he's not as popular). But he's had to deal with a lot of emotional ****, so I respect him.

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I'm also a big Gary Allan fan (although he's not as popular). But he's had to deal with a lot of emotional ****, so I respect him.

 

Gary Allan is awesome! Haven't heard him in a while but I like his songs the most... "watching airplanes"(its awesome xD) "shes so california" and "tough little boys"

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