What is the fastest way to get over him?

[No_hope]

I was suppose to get married last month, 6 weeks before our wedding my ex sent me a TEXT MESSAGE saying he "can't get married" we have a 12 month old together and it just hurt so bad. A month later a found out he had a girlfriend so I was thinking "oh she is probably just rebound" nope, he was cheating on me for 2 months with her, and he told a mutual friend he was trying to get with her a month before he got with her.

During the break up he was saying how he "can't be tied down" and "I don't even know what love is" and it just hurt so bad because I love him so much, we had been together for 2 years. And I have personally known him for 10 of those years, going to family functions, the movies, parties.

 

anyways he was all upset saying how "life has turned on him" because his girlfriend moved to 2 states away.

how is "life turned on him" when they only been together for 2 months? and known each other for 4 months? Yet 2 years and a baby means NOTHING to him! We did not even have a bad relationship, we had our arguments but they never lasted long.

We did not constantly fight, there was no abuse, *I* never cheated on him, and this is the first time I had heard he cheated on me.

 

anyways, it seems like when ever I feel like "okay I am done being sad over this, I deserve so much better" some bull crap comes up that puts me back to square one.

 

like the first time I thought I was over him he sent me a text message saying that I was a good mom and thanks for raising him right. That put me back.

 

the second time I thought I was finally getting over him I found out about his girlfriend and he called me.

 

and the 3rd time I thought I was finally getting over him, he was all emotional and upset that his girlfriend moved. It just sucks knowing someone who you loved and thought loved you for 2 years and went through a lot of stuff together, just all of a sudden doesn't have feelings for you, and has these "strong" feelings for someone else, who they JUST MET.

 

he has told friends and family he is "done" with me, and I did not do anything! I mean yeah we had arguments like me saying how he should change diapers more often, and me saying he needs to get a job (he is unemployed) but seriously? why would you break up with someone just because you are asking for help? I don't see why he just hates me.

 

what is the fastest way to get over this?!

[smudge21]

Don't think there is a fast way to get over this, but going no contact is probably the only way. You have to block him out of your life, I know that's hard when he has your contact details. Just start ignoring his texts and don't ever reply back, sadly that could mean he starts texting more, but you have to remain strong.

 

Look at what other forms of contact you have with him - do you have him on Facebook, or even any old pictures that could set you back. If so, get rid of the lot.

 

Plenty on here will tell you about nc and it truly is the only way to get over someone, but it can take time. I thought I was nc myself a few months back, but then realised I couldn't do it. It's only in the last week that I've finally deleted everything of her. I think there was just that moment when I realised I'd had enough. Now I'm on full nc and to be honest, I still miss her, love her, but I feel okay... for the first time, I just feel okay. I know it won't be smooth sailing, but for now I'm just dealing with it.

 

Good luck. Keep posting on those on here will keep you strong.

[No_hope]

I thought I was nc myself a few months back, but then realised I couldn't do it.

 

Good luck. Keep posting on those on here will keep you strong.

 

 

how long have you been broken up? How long did it take you to be "okay"?

[Duckduckgoose]

There isn't really. You gotta deal with yourself, deal with your shortcomings in the relationship, deal with the emotions and feelings that come from losing a relationship... there's a lot of **** you gotta deal with.

 

Once you've dealt with all that stuffs then you should be over him. You'll get triggers but you will be okay to handle them.

 

It won't go any faster if you have contact with him.

 

You're gonna have to introspect for a while to deal with all these things, and vent a lot, and sometimes you will want to be around people sometimes you won't.

 

Jumping into a new relationship won't help you deal... it will backfire cause then you will get hit with a double whammy of pain from that failed relationship and that one that you put off healing from by jumping into a new one.