How has your life changed since the split?

[brokendreamz]

I was just posting a reply on another thread when I suddenly realised how much of an impact on my life her leaving has had - I mean, I know it had a big impact but listing what's happened to me has been a real eye opener and not all of it negative:

 

3 Months ago I was:

 

Living in our home we bought together

Not seeing a therapist

Not on meds

Not selling my car

Sleeping like a baby

2 stone heavier

Eating like a horse

Looking forward to the evenings and weekends

Not working out at the gym

Not pushing myself to speak to new people

Not re connecting with old friends

Not going on holiday by myself

 

 

 

What about you? Wanna share..!?

[Stilicho]

3 months ago, i was happy.

 

I was getting ready for a trip to Europe me and my ex planned, which was to happen a week later.

 

i was content with my path in life.

 

i was 25 lbs heavier, and not in the gym like some animal, lol

 

i never thought my sweet, innocent gf would cheat and leave for some drug addicted wannabe thug.

 

i was a deans list student, and will be again this semester! hopefully.

 

i was comfortable and satisfied.

 

in the present,

 

i have regained my confidence

 

i am more outgoing

 

i am more social, as i have reconnected w old friends.

 

i am making my way back

[No_hope]

3 months ago my ex fiance bought our wedding rings, and was in the middle of planning our wedding

 

I was working out every night

 

I was super happy planning our lives

 

was looking for a house to buy

 

fantasizing about the wedding that was suppose to happen almost a month ago.

 

the sucky part about it all was 3 months ago when all this happened he was cheating on me with the girl he is with now.

[Butterflying]

I was not making the effort to meet new guys.

I looked forward to evenings, weekends, holidays.

I had someone to talk to about pretty much EVERYTHING.

I was absolutely happy and content with my life and where it was going.

 

But I also had girls calling my phone (because they got it from his phone) wanting to know my relationship with him.

I was insecure that he was cheating on me.

I Spent many days and nights arguing about his commitment to the relationship.

I felt "forced" to accept the good along with the bad in the relationship.

 

Now, my biggest challeng in life is finding a man who will love me the same as I love him. Everything else is a cake walk (figuratively speaking).

[No_hope]

 

Now, my biggest challeng in life is finding a man who will love me the same as I love him. Everything else is a cake walk (figuratively speaking).

 

 

I know how you feel, I thought this guy who I was so in love with, loved me as much as I loved but, but nope

[Minnie09]

It's been too long, and I still can't cope properly.

 

I left because he had an EA and I couldn't take his double standards anymore. His rules never applied to himself, but I always had to play by them (controlling, abusive tendencies are often present in cheaters). After several D-Days, I had enough. Now I feel worse than before. Financial crisis, single mom, hardly a support network. I'm pretty much all alone and depressed most of the time, while all I wanted for him is to SEE what he had done to our family, to show remorse and make it all up to us. But he never looked back. I don't know if he's dating (her), how he spends his time, and if he misses our family. It sure seems he doesn't. He has his son every other weekend and sometimes during the week, and when the house is empty it's even harder, because it's so quiet. I have no nerve to even think about dating, I'm 40 years old and have no energy left. He seems to cope better. It's just not fair. He created this mess and now he's better off than me. I'm asking myself what there's left for me to look forward to. I look thin and old. I used to be a pretty woman. I didn't even look my age-ever. And now I'm a wreck. My son is my only joy and all I want is to see him smile and keep his sanity. Me-I don't know what to hope for. Right now, life sucks. Sorry, but that's the ugly truth. And at my age finding a new love is a hopeless project. Sorry for the rant. I still do have hope sometimes. But not very often. Compared to now, my life with a self-centered cheater was almost bliss. At least I knew how to pay my bills and my spa appointments. LOL.

Now I'm just in a monthly struggle. Daycare, car, gas, food, clothes for my baby, etc. Struggle struggle. I so want to go to counseling, but I just can't afford it. S-U-C-K-S.

[Butterflying]

I know how you feel, I thought this guy who I was so in love with, loved me as much as I loved but, but nope

Awwwww ((((((((((Cyber Hug)))))))))) This has to be the worst feeling ever. The feeling of realizing someone doesn't love you as much as you thought. Then having to re-evaluate everything, make new plans, forget all the ideas you had about a life together with him. It just sucks!!

[J0N]

I like this post. Here are some things that have changed in my life since my break up 145 days ago.

 

1. 15 lbs lighter, and much stronger; and I am halfway to my goal of losing 30 lbs.

2. Learned a whole lot about life, love, and why me and my ex splitting up is ultimately the best thing that could have happened for the both of us (even though it SUCKS *** right now).

3. Become more spiritual

4. I am now thankful for all of the things in my life.

5. Learned who my TRUE friends are, some have really stepped up some have proven that they aren't really the friends I thought they were.

6. Saved over $13,000.00 I have also really gotten more focused at work.

7. Met some new people, though I do not feel ready to get into anything new just yet.

8. Learned how to recognize red flags.

 

This experience has taught me to really appreciate everything that I have in my life. I feel that after being broken, I will eventually heal stronger than I ever was before. I have learned many important lessons from this and I will never make certain mistakes again.

[roman_pavluchenko]

3 months ago i had;

A girlfriend

An awesome best friend

 

Now i have ;

No girlfriend

Losing my best friend

 

Why?

They're dating.

[angelboots]

six months ago:

1, deferred my course so my now ex could join me and we could study together

2. put off work options because the ex wanted us to work together

3. put off buying furniture because the ex wanted a say in the furniture buying process

4. was not eating so i could afford to do things for him

5. thought i was crazy and felt like a nervous wreck because my stomach told me that my ex was up to no good but he denied it and said it was all in my head

6. stayed home all the time to be available for him when he "needed" me otherwise he would go into a rage and claim I was selfish and never there for him or he would text or call me constantly when i was out with my family telling me i must be up to no good and to go home so we could talk because he "needed me"

 

Now 6 months later:

 

1. Studying and working full time in a career field that I love and find very rewarding

2. have fully redecorated the house how I like it to look

3. have made friends and work connections in the area where i knew next to no one before

4. have lost 20kgs

5. no longer feel crazy about his behaviour, i caught him out BIG time so I now know it wasn't just in my head, it wasn't something wrong with me it was him

6. I feel happier on a whole on my own though i am now less trusting