How do you cope with being used?

[roman_pavluchenko]

Long story short!

I like a girl, she is a really nice, sweet person who has never had a boyfriend, we're all on leavers together, i've liked her for a while, we've become pretty close as we always talked for hours on facebook.

 

Problem : I think she likes my best mate. On leavers she is always talking to him, sitting next to him, commenting him, touching him, holding him when posing in photos and on one occasion he went off into the toilets with another girl, i am 100% sure that it really upset the girl i like because her face drops and she looks really upset. Last few days of leavers, i'm really drunk, shes looking after me with another one of my friends, i eventually ask her out and she says yes.

 

Relationship: We dated for 2 months, she rarely wanted to do things alone, it always had to be in a group. In that time phrame the friend i mentioned before, whom i believed she liked became distant and stopped hanging out within the group, my girlfriend was concerned about it. He starts coming along to group things again, they don't act like they did on leavers before i was dating her but she starts to become distant to me. On australia day he was really drunk, we were all going to drive to the look-out to watch the stars, my girlfriend says "nah you guys just go, i'll look after <my friends name> A week after that she dumps me.

 

With a week of being broken up with her things are back to normal. She is contstantly facebooking/texting/calling my mate, organising group things. Neither of them organise "girls nights" or "guys nights" as they did when i was dating her. 6 weeks of being broken up with her and i don't exist, she hasn't contacted me at all. Exept my best friend who i suspected she liked all along tells me that he is going out to get coffee with her and then they are going back to his house. I feel so pathetic and used. How do i cope with this, i don't want her back because of the way she has treated me, i still have feelings for her but at the same time i hate her. It seems she just used me to make my friend jealous because he was always trying to get with chicks on leavers and after he starts talking to her again, she breaks my heart and starts pursuing him

[angelboots]

how do you cope with being used?

 

well i guess you just have to chalk it up to experience, try to learn to trust your instincts and try not to be too harsh on yourself. When we are used like that we usually have a gut feeling in the start that something isn't right.

 

For you it was the feeling she liked your friend, for me it was the feeling that my ex, no matter how much he denied it, still wanted his ex back. He dragged me along for a year, planning a future with me only to turn around and drop me and try to chase her again when she broke up with her then Boyfriend.

 

Being used hurts. It hurts bad, the worst thing we can do is question why we weren't enough. Ultimately I am comfortable in the knowledge I couldn't use anyone the way I was used. I think people that use others in any way are selfish and immature. We move past this type of break up knowing that we deserve better and will find better and be happier in the long run for it.

 

oh and by the way, your friend sounds like an ass... i would consider ditching him too. You dont date your best friends ex's... period. same rule goes for family members. Its nasty.