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Any Thoughts?


worlybear

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So I've really hit the wall here.:(

My older children have fallen out because oldest son has contact with STBXH( living with him as terms of early release) and oldest daughter has contact for finances.

Last weekend she saw her father for the 1st time in a year when STBXH dropped off older son for a visit.

She said she felt v awkward and that in her opinion STBXH was missing his family (especially his youngest daughter.)

I should be rejoicing at that but all I feel is despair.:sick:

I haven't told other sons about the visit because I know they would also then cut their sister out of their lives and it would end up being me picking up the pieces.

I'm really struggling with exhaustion, my temporary job is very difficult but I AM glad that I'm employed.

I'm trying to be upbeat, getting into the garden, taking walks ,swimming etc but I just feel I'm going through the motions.

I have applied for legal aid to finalise divorce (still not resolved after 2 YEARS) and to date, nothing has happened.

I can't afford to let this go, I need to go to court to apply for shares in my STBXH'S pension so I can maintain a standard of living for our 9 yr old daughter.

My mind is currently in a loop- I can't get past the fact that STBXH has a full time job, and is living with OW and her daughter and supporting them to the extent that he takes her daughter to school every morning as she is in his class- meanwhile HIS OWN DAUGHTER has to be dropped at a friend's house at 7.45 each morning and a complicated rota of friends picks her up from school. (Thank God for nice people!)

It makes my blood boil.

He has walked away and left everything and has successfully re-invented his life complete with new "family."

It looks like he's going to get away with everything unscathed.:mad:

For the record I have been out socialising and meeting people and I have a tentative friendship in very early stages but at the moment I'm rubbish company and quite frankly, feel too sorry for myself! uggghhh!:sick:

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